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ence｛sic｝ climbed up and up。 The largest amount I
could earn at teaching was six dollars a week； and
our school year included only two terms of thir…
teen weeks each。 It was an incessant struggle to
keep our land； to pay our taxes； and to live。 Cal…
ico was selling at fifty cents a yard。 Coffee was
one dollar a pound。 There were no men left to
grind our corn； to get in our crops； or to care for
our live stock； and all around us we saw our
struggle reflected in the lives of our neighbors。
At long intervals word came to us of battles in
which my father's regimentthe Tenth Michigan
Cavalry Volunteersor those of my brothers were
engaged； and then longer intervals followed in which
we heard no news。 After Eleanor's death my
brother Tom was wounded； and for months we lived
in terror of worse tidings； but he finally recovered。
I was walking seven and eight miles a day； and doing
extra work before and after school hours； and my
health began to fail。 Those were years I do not
like to look back uponyears in which life had de…
generated into a treadmill whose monotony was
broken only by the grim messages from the front。
My sister Mary married and went to Big Rapids to
live。 I had no time to dream my dream； but the star
of my one purpose still glowed in my dark horizon。
It seemed that nothing short of a miracle could lift
my feet from their plodding way and set them on the
wider path toward which my eyes were turned； but
I never lost faith that in some manner the miracle
would come to pass。 As certainly as I have ever
known anything； I KNEW that I was going to college！
III
HIGH…SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DAYS
The end of the Civil War brought freedom to
me； too。 When peace was declared my father
and brothers returned to the claim in the wilderness
which we women of the family had labored so des…
perately to hold while they were gone。 To us； as to
others； the final years of the war had brought many
changes。 My sister Eleanor's place was empty。
Mary； as I have said； had married and gone to live in
Big Rapids； and my mother and I were alone with my
brother Harry； now a boy of fourteen。 After the
return of our men it was no longer necessary to de…
vote every penny of my earnings to the maintenance
of our home。 For the first time I could begin to
save a portion of my income toward the fulfilment
of my college dream； but even yet there was a long；
arid stretch ahead of me before the college doors
came even distantly into sight。
The largest salary I could earn by teaching in our
Northern woods was one hundred and fifty…six dollars
a year； for two terms of thirteen weeks each； and
from this； of course； I had to deduct the cost of my
board and clothingthe sole expenditure I allowed
myself。 The dollars for an education accumulated
very； very slowly； until at last； in desperation； weary
of seeing the years of my youth rush past； bearing
my hopes with them； I took a sudden and radical
step。 I gave up teaching； left our cabin in the
woods； and went to Big Rapids to live with my sister
Mary； who had married a successful man and who
generously offered me a home。 There； I had de…
cided； I would learn a trade of some kind； of any
kind； it did not greatly matter what it was。 The
sole essential was that it should be a money…making
trade； offering wages which would make it possible
to add more rapidly to my savings。 In those days；
almost fifty years ago； and in a small pioneer town；
the fields open to women were few and unfruitful。
The needle at once presented itself； but at first I
turned with loathing from it。 I would have pre…
ferred the digging of ditches or the shoveling of coal；
but the needle alone persistently pointed out my
way； and I was finally forced to take it。
Fate； however； as if weary at last of seeing me
between her paws； suddenly let me escape。 Before
I had been working a month at my uncongenial
trade Big Rapids was favored by a visit from a
Universalist woman minister； the Reverend Marianna
Thompson； who came there to preach。 Her ser…
mon was delivered on Sunday morning； and I was； I
think； almost the earliest arrival of the great con…
gregation which filled the church。 It was a wonder…
ful moment when I saw my first woman minister
enter her pulpit； and as I listened to her sermon；
thrilled to the soul； all my early aspirations to be…
come a minister myself stirred in me with cumulative
force。 After the services I hung for a time on the
fringe of the group that surrounded her； and at last；
when she was alone and about to leave； I found
courage to introduce myself and pour forth the tale
of my ambition。 Her advice was as prompt as if
she had studied my problem for years。
‘‘My child；'' she said； ‘‘give up your foolish idea
of learning a trade； and go to school。 You can't do
anything until you have an education。 Get it； and
get it NOW。''
Her suggestion was much to my liking； and I paid
her the compliment of acting on it promptly； for
the next morning I entered the Big Rapids High
School； which was also a preparatory school for col…
lege。 There I would study； I determined； as long
as my money held out； and with the optimism of
youth I succeeded in confining my imagination to
this side of that crisis。 My home； thanks to Mary；
was assured； the wardrobe I had brought from the
woods covered me sufficiently； to one who had
walked five and six miles a day for years； walking
to school held no discomfort； and as for pleasure；
I found it； like a heroine of fiction； in my studies。
For the first time life was smiling at me； and with
all my young heart I smiled back。
The preceptress of the high school was Lucy
Foot； a college graduate and a remarkable woman。
I had heard much of her sympathy and understand…
ing； and on the evening following my first day in
school I went to her and repeated the confidences
I had reposed in the Reverend Marianna Thompson。
My trust in her was justified。 She took an immedi…
ate interest in me； and proved it at once by putting
me into the speaking and debating classes； where I
was given every opportunity to hold forth to help…
less classmates when the spirit of eloquence moved
me。
As an aid to public speaking I was taught to ‘‘elo…
cute；'' and I remember in every mournful detail
the occasion on which I gave my first recitation。
We were having our monthly ‘‘public exhibition
night；'' and the audience included not only my class…
mates； but their parents and friends as well。 The
selection I intended to recite was a poem entitled
‘‘No Sects in Heaven；'' but when I faced my au…
dience I was so appalled by its size and by the sud…
den realization of my own temerity that I fainted
during the delivery of the first verse。 Sympathetic
classmates carried me into an anteroom and revived
me； after which they naturally assumed that the
entertainment I furnished was over for the evening。
I； however； felt that if I let that failure stand against
me I could never afterward speak in public； and
within ten minutes； notwithstanding the protests
of my friends； I was back in the hall and beginning
my recitation a second time。 The audience gave
me its eager attention。 Possibly it hoped to see me
topple off the platform again； but nothing of the
sort occurred。 I went through the recitation with
self…possession and received some friendly applause at
the end。 Strangely enough； those first sensations of
‘‘stage fright'' have been experienced； in a lesser de…
gree； in connection with each of the thousands of
public speeches I have made since that time。 I
have never again gone so far as to faint in the
presence of an audience； but I have invariably
walked out on the platform feeling the sinking sen…
sation at the pit of the stomach； the weakness of the
knees； that I felt in the hour of my debut。 Now；
however； the nervousness passes after a moment
or two。
From that night Miss Foot lost no opportunity of
putting me into the foreground of our school affairs。
I took part in all our debates； recited yards of poe…
try to any audience we could attract； and even shone
mildly in our amateur theatricals。 It was probably
owing to all this activity that I attracted the in…
terest of the presiding elder of our districtDr。
Peck； a man of progressive ideas。 There was at
that time a movement on foot to license women to
preach in the Methodist Church； and Dr。 Peck was
ambitious to be the first presiding elder to have a
woman ordained for the Methodist ministry。 He
had urged Miss Foot to be this pioneer； but her
ambitions did not turn in that direction。 Though
she was a very devout Methodist； she had no wish
to be the shepherd of a religious flock。 She loved
her school…work； and asked nothing better than to
remain in it。 Gently but persistently she directed
the attent