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together like children。 She had wonderful toys for
me； and pictures and books； but the thing I loved
best of all and played with for hours was a little
stuffed hen which she told me had been her dearest
treasure when she was a child at home。 She had
also a stuffed puppy； and she once mentioned that
those two things alone were left of her life as
a little girl。 Besides the toys and books and pic…
tures； she gave me ice…cream and cake； and told me
fairy…tales。 She had a wonderful understanding of
what a child likes。 There were half a dozen women
in the house with her； but I saw none of them nor
any of the men who came。
Once； when we had become very good friends
indeed and my early shyness had departed； I
found courage to ask her where the ghost was
the ghost that haunted her house。 I can still see
the look in her eyes as they met mine。 She told
me the ghost lived in her heart； and that she did
not like to talk about it； and that we must not
speak of it again。 After that I never mentioned it；
but I was more deeply interested than ever； for a
ghost that lived in a heart was a new kind of ghost
to me at that time； though I have met many of
them since then。 During all our intercourse my
mother never entered the house next door； nor did
my mysterious lady enter our home； but she con…
stantly sent my mother secret gifts for the poor and
the sick of the neighborhood； and she was always
the first to offer help for those who were in trouble。
Many years afterward mother told me she was the
most generous woman she had ever known； and
that she had a rarely beautiful nature。 Our depart…
ure for Michigan broke up the friendship； but I have
never forgotten her； and whenever； in my later
work as minister； physician； and suffragist； I have
been able to help women of the class to which she
belonged； I have mentally offered that help for credit
in the tragic ledger of her life； in which the clean and
the blotted pages were so strange a contrast。
One more incident of Lawrence I must describe
before I leave that city behind me； as we left it for
ever in 1859。 While we were still there a number of
Lawrence men decided to go West； and amid great
public excitement they departed in a body for Kansas；
where they founded the town of Lawrence in that
state。 I recall distinctly the public interest which
attended their going； and the feeling every one
seemed to have that they were passing forever out
of the civilized world。 Their farewells to their
friends were eternal； no one expected to see them
again； and my small brain grew dizzy as I tried to
imagine a place so remote as their destination。 It
was； I finally decided； at the uttermost ends of the
earth； and it seemed quite possible that the brave
adventurers who reached it might then drop off into
space。 Fifty years later I was talking to a Cali…
fornia girl who complained lightly of the monotony
of a climate where the sun shone and the flowers
bloomed all the year around。 ‘‘But I had a de…
lightful change last year；'' she added； with anima…
tion。 ‘‘I went East for the winter。''
‘‘To New York？'' I asked。
‘‘No；'' corrected the California girl； easily； ‘‘to
Lawrence； Kansas。''
Nothing； I think； has ever made me feel quite so
old as that remark。 That in my life； not yet； to me
at least； a long one； I should see such an arc de…
scribed seemed actually oppressive until I realized
that； after all； the arc was merely a rainbow of time
showing how gloriously realized were the hopes of
the Lawrence pioneers。
The move to Michigan meant a complete up…
heaval in our lives。 In Lawrence we had around us
the fine flower of New England civilization。 We
children went to school； our parents； though they
were in very humble circumstances； were associated
with the leading spirits and the big movements of
the day。 When we went to Michigan we went to
the wilderness； to the wild pioneer life of those times；
and we were all old enough to keenly feel the change。
My father was one of a number of Englishmen who
took up tracts in the northern forests of Michigan；
with the old dream of establishing a colony there。
None of these men had the least practical knowledge
of farming。 They were city men or followers of
trades which had no connection with farm life。
They went straight into the thick timber…land； in…
stead of going to the rich and waiting prairies； and
they crowned this initial mistake by cutting down
the splendid timber instead of letting it stand。
Thus bird's…eye maple and other beautiful woods
were used as fire…wood and in the construction of
rude cabins； and the greatest asset of the pioneers
was ignored。
Father preceded us to the Michigan woods； and
there； with his oldest son； James； took up a claim。
They cleared a space in the wilderness just large
enough for a log cabin； and put up the bare walls
of the cabin itself。 Then father returned to Law…
rence and his work； leaving James behind。 A few
months later （this was in 1859）； my mother； my two
sisters； Eleanor and Mary； my youngest brother；
Henry； eight years of age； and I； then twelve； went
to Michigan to work on and hold down the claim
while father； for eighteen months longer； stayed on
in Lawrence； sending us such remittances as he could。
His second and third sons； John and Thomas； re…
mained in the East with him。
Every detail of our journey through the wilder…
ness is clear in my mind。 At that time the railroad
terminated at Grand Rapids； Michigan； and we
covered the remaining distanceabout one hundred
milesby wagon； riding through a dense and often
trackless forest。 My brother James met us at
Grand Rapids with what； in those days； was called
a lumber…wagon； but which had a horrible resem…
blance to a vehicle from the health department。
My sisters and I gave it one cold look and turned
from it； we were so pained by its appearance that
we refused to ride in it through the town。 Instead；
we started off on foot； trying to look as if we had no
association with it； and we climbed into the un…
wieldy vehicle only when the city streets were far
behind us。 Every available inch of space in the
wagon was filled with bedding and provisions。 As
yet we had no furniture； we were to make that for
ourselves when we reached our cabin； and there
was so little room for us to ride that we children
walked by turns； while James； from the beginning
of the journey to its end； seven days later； led our
weary horses。
To my mother； who was never strong； the whole
experience must have been a nightmare of suffering
and stoical endurance。 For us children there were
compensations。 The expedition took on the char…
acter of a high adventure； in which we sometimes
had shelter and sometimes failed to find it； some…
times were fed； but often went hungry。 We forded
innumerable streams； the wheels of the heavy wagon
sinking so deeply into the stream…beds that we often
had to empty our load before we could get them out
again。 Fallen trees lay across our paths； rivers
caused long detours； while again and again we lost
our way or were turned aside by impenetrable forest
tangles。
Our first day's journey covered less than eight
miles； and that night we stopped at a farm…house
which was the last bit of civilization we saw。 Early
the next morning we were off again； making the slow
progress due to the rough roads and our heavy load。
At night we stopped at a place called Thomas's
Inn； only to be told by the woman who kept it that
there was nothing in the house to eat。 Her hus…
band； she said； had gone ‘‘outside'' （to Grand
Rapids） to get some flour； and had not returned
but she added that we could spend the night； if
we chose； and enjoy shelter； if not food。 We had
provisions in our wagon； so we wearily entered； after
my brother had got out some of our pork and
opened a barrel of flour。 With this help the woman
made some biscuits； which were so green that my
poor mother could not eat them。 She had admitted
to us that the one thing she had in the house was
saleratus； and she had used this ingredient with an
unsparing hand。 When the meal was eaten she
broke the further news that there were no beds。
‘‘The old woman can sleep with me；'' she sug…
gested； ‘‘and the girls can sleep on the floor。 The
boys will have to go to the barn。''
She and her bed were not especially attractive；
and mother decided to lie on the floor with us。 We
had taken our bedding from the wagon； and we slept
very well； but though she was usually superior to
small annoyances； I think my mother resented being
called an ‘‘old woman。'' She must have felt like
one that night； but she was only about forty…eight
years of age。
At dawn the next morning we resumed our jour…
ney； and every day after that we were able to cover
the distance