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loitering will lengthen； and only fatigue or accident interrupt； until he alights at his cote。
Five of these willing messengers were started the first day out； and five more will leave to…morrow； poor little aerial postmen； almost predestined to destruction （in the latter case）； for we shall then be so far from land that their one chance of life and home must depend on finding some friendly mast where an hour's rest may be taken before the bird starts again on his journey。
In two or three days； according to the weather； we shall begin sending French pigeons on ahead of us toward Havre。 The gentleman in charge of them tells me that his wife received all the messages he sent to her during his westward trip； the birds appearing each morning at her window （where she was in the habit feeding them） with their tidings from mid…ocean。 He also tells me that the French fleet in the Mediterranean recently received messages from their comrades in the Baltic on the third day by these feathered envoys。
It is hoped that in future ocean steamers will be able to keep up communication with the land at least four out of the seven days of their trips； so that； in case of delay or accident； their exact position and circumstances can be made known at headquarters。 It is a pity； the originator of the scheme remarked； that sea…gulls are such hopeless vagabonds； for they can fly much greater distances than pigeons； and are not affected by dampness； which seriously cripples the present messengers。
Later in the day a compatriot； inspired doubtless by the morning's experiment； confided to me that he had hit on 〃a great scheme；〃 which he intends to develop on arriving。 His idea is to domesticate families of porpoises at Havre and New York； as that fish passes for having （like the pigeon） the homing instinct。 Ships provided with the parent fish can free one every twenty…four hours； charged with the morning's mail。 The inventor of this luminous idea has already designed the letter…boxes that are to be strapped on the fishes' backs； and decided on a neat uniform for his postmen。
It is amusing during the first days 〃out〃 to watch the people whom chance has thrown together into such close quarters。 The occult power that impels a pigeon to seek its kind is feeble in comparison with the faculty that travellers develop under these circumstances for seeking out congenial spirits。 Twelve hours do not pass before affinities draw together； what was apparently a homogeneous mass has by that time grouped and arranged itself into three or four distinct circles。
The 〃sporty〃 gentlemen in loud clothes have united in the bonds of friendship with the travelling agents and have chosen the smoking…room as their headquarters。 No mellow sunset or serene moonlight will tempt these comrades from the subtleties of poker； the pool on the run is the event of their day。
A portly prima donna is the centre of another circle。 Her wraps； her dogs； her admirers； and her brand…new husband （a handsome young Hungarian with a voice like two Bacian bulls） fill the sitting…room； where the piano gets but little rest。 Neither sunshine nor soft winds can draw them to the deck。 Although too ill for the regular meals； this group eat and drink during fifteen out of the twenty…four hours。
The deck； however； is not deserted； two fashionable dressmakers revel there。 These sociable ladies asked the COMMISSAIRE at the start 〃to introduce all the young unmarried men to them；〃 as they wanted to be jolly。 They have a numerous court around them； and champagne； like the conversation； flows freely。 These ladies have already become expert at shuffleboard； but their 〃sea legs〃 are not so good as might be expected； and the dames require to be caught and supported by their admirers at each moment to prevent them from tripping … an immense joke； to judge by the peals of laughter that follow。
The American wife of a French ambassador sits on the captain's right。 A turn of the diplomatic wheel is taking the lady to Madrid； where her position will call for supreme tact and self…restraint。 One feels a thrill of national pride on looking at her high…bred young face and listening as she chats in French and Spanish； and wonders once more at the marvellous faculty our women have of adapting themselves so graciously and so naturally to difficult positions； which the women of other nations rarely fill well unless born to the purple。 It is the high opinion I have of my countrywomen that has made me cavil； before now； on seeing them turned into elaborately dressed nullities by foolish and too adoring husbands。
The voyage is wearing itself away。 Sunny days are succeeded by gray mornings； as exquisite in their way； when one can feel the ship fight against contending wind and wave； and shiver under the blows received in a struggle which dashes the salt spray high over the decks。 There is an aroma in the air then that breathes new life into jaded nerves； and stirs the drop of old Norse blood； dormant in most American veins； into quivering ecstasy。 One dreams of throwing off the trammels of civilized existence and returning to the free life of older days。
But here is Havre glittering in the distance against her background of chalk cliffs。 People come on deck in strangely conventional clothes and with demure citified airs。 Passengers of whose existence you were unaware suddenly make their appearance。 Two friends meet near me for the first time。 〃Hallo； Jones！〃 says one of them； 〃are you crossing？〃
〃Yes；〃 answers Jones； 〃are you？〃
The company's tug has come alongside by this time； bringing its budget of letters and telegrams。 The brief holiday is over。 With a sigh one comes back to the positive and the present； and patiently resumes the harness of life。
Chapter 9 … 〃Climbers〃 in England
THE expression 〃Little Englander；〃 much used of late to designate an inhabitant of the Mother Isle in contra… distinction to other subjects of Her Majesty； expresses neatly the feeling of our insular cousins not only as regards ourselves； but also the position affected toward their colonial brothers and sisters。
Have you ever noticed that in every circle there is some individual assuming to do things better than his comrades … to know more； dress better； run faster； pronounce more correctly？ Who； unless promptly suppressed； will turn the conversation into a monologue relating to his own exploits and opinions。 To differ is to bring down his contempt upon your devoted head！ To argue is time wasted！
Human nature is； however； so constituted that a man of this type mostly succeeds in hypnotizing his hearers into sharing his estimate of himself； and impressing upon them the conviction that he is a rare being instead of a commonplace mortal。 He is not a bad sort of person at bottom； and ready to do one a friendly turn … if it does not entail too great inconvenience。 In short； a good fellow； whose principal defect is the profound conviction that he was born superior to the rest of mankind。
What this individual is to his environment； Englishmen are to the world at large。 It is the misfortune； not the fault； of the rest of the human race； that they are not native to his island； a fact； by the way； which outsiders are rarely allowed to lose sight of； as it entails a becoming modesty on their part。
Few idiosyncrasies get more quickly on American nerves or are further from our hearty attitude toward strangers。 As we are far from looking upon wandering Englishmen with suspicion； it takes us some time to realize that Americans who cut away from their countrymen and settle far from home are regarded with distrust and reluctantly received。 When a family of this kind prepares to live in their neighborhood； Britons have a formula of three questions they ask themselves concerning the new… comers： 〃Whom do they know？ How much are they worth？〃 and 〃What amusement （or profit） are we likely to get out of them？〃 If the answer to all or any of the three queries is satisfactory； my lord makes the necessary advances and becomes an agreeable； if not a witty or original； companion。
Given this and a number of other peculiarities； it seems curious that a certain class of Americans should be so anxious to live in England。 What is it tempts them？ It cannot be the climate； for that is vile； nor the city of London； for it is one of the ugliest in existence； nor their 〃cuisine〃 … for although we are not good cooks ourselves； we know what good food is and could give Britons points。 Neither can it be art； nor the opera； … one finds both better at home or on the Continent than in England。 So it must be society； and here one's wonder deepens！
When I hear friends just back from a stay over there enlarging on the charms of 〃country life；〃 or a London 〃season；〃 I look attentively to see if they are in earnest； so incomparably dull have I always found English house parties or town entertainments。 At least that side of society which the climbing stranger mostly affects。 Other circles are charming； if a bit slow； and the 〃Bohemia〃 and semi…Bohemia of London have a