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the ways of men-第13章

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ingers; until  the king should appear … that within a century and a half one  simple discovery would enable all classes of people to keep  their shops and dwellings at a summer temperature through the  severest winters; the half…frozen nobles would have flouted  the suggestion as an 〃iridescent dream;〃 a sort of too…good… to…be…true prophecy。

What was to those noblemen an unheard…of luxury has become  within the last decade one of the primary necessities of our  life。

The question arises now: Are we gainers by the change?  Has  the indiscriminate use of heat been of advantage; either  mentally or physically; to the nation?

The incubus of caloric that sits on our gasping country is  particularly painful at this season; when nature undertakes to  do her own heating。

In other less…favored lands; the first spring days; the  exquisite awakening of the world after a long winter; bring to  the inhabitants a sensation of joy and renewed vitality。  We;  however; have discounted that enjoyment。  Delicate gradations  of temperature are lost on people who have been stewing for  six months in a mixture of steam and twice…breathed air。

What pleasure can an early April day afford the man who has  slept in an over…heated flat and is hurrying to an office  where eighty degrees is the average all the year round?  Or  the pale shop…girl; who complains if a breath of morning air  strays into the suburban train where she is seated?

As people who habitually use such 〃relishes〃 as Chutney and  Worcestershire are incapable of appreciating delicately  prepared food; so the 〃soft〃 mortals who have accustomed  themselves to a perpetual August are insensible to fine  shadings of temperature。

The other day I went with a friend to inspect some rooms he  had been decorating in one of our public schools。  The morning  had been frosty; but by eleven o'clock the sun warmed the air  uncomfortably。  On entering the school we were met by a blast  of heated air that was positively staggering。  In the  recitation rooms; where; as in all New York schoolrooms; the  children were packed like dominoes in a box; the temperature  could not have been under eighty…five。

The pale; spectacled spinster in charge; to whom we complained  of this; was astonished and offended at what she considered  our interference; and answered that 〃the children liked it  warm;〃 as for herself she 〃had a cold and could not think of  opening a window。〃  If the rooms were too warm it was the  janitor's fault; and he had gone out!

Twelve o'clock struck before we had finished our tour of  inspection。  It is to be doubted if anywhere else in the world  could there be found such a procession of pasty…faced; dull… eyed youngsters as trooped past us down the stairs。  Their  appearance was the natural result of compelling children  dressed for winter weather to sit many hours each day in  hothouses; more suited to tropical plants than to growing  human beings。

A gentleman with us remarked with a sigh; 〃I have been in  almost every school in the city and find the same condition  everywhere。  It is terrible; but there doesn't seem to be any  remedy for it。〃  The taste for living in a red…hot atmosphere  is growing on our people; even public vehicles have to be  heated now to please the patrons。

When tiresome old Benjamin Franklin made stoves popular he  struck a terrible blow at the health of his compatriots; the  introduction of steam heat and consequent suppression of all  health…giving ventilation did the rest; the rosy cheeks of  American children went up the chimney with the last whiff of  wood smoke; and have never returned。  Much of our home life  followed; no family can be expected to gather in cheerful  converse around a 〃radiator。〃

How can this horror of fresh air among us be explained?  If  people really enjoy living in overheated rooms with little or  no ventilation; why is it that we hear so much complaining;  when during the summer months the thermometer runs up into the  familiar nineties?  Why are children hurried out of town; and  why do wives consider it a necessity to desert their husbands?

It's rather inconsistent; to say the least; for not one of  those deserters but would 〃kick〃 if the theatre or church they  attend fell below that temperature in December。

It is impossible to go into our banks and offices and not  realize that the air has been breathed again and again; heated  and cooled; but never changed; … doors and windows fit too  tightly for that。

The pallor and dazed expression of the employees tell the same  tale。  I spoke to a youth the other day in an office about his  appearance and asked if he was ill。  〃Yes;〃 he answered; 〃I  have had a succession of colds all winter。  You see; my desk  here is next to the radiator; so I am in a perpetual  perspiration and catch cold as soon as I go out。  Last winter  I passed three months in a farmhouse; where the water froze in  my room at night; and we had to wear overcoats to our meals。   Yet I never had a cold there; and gained in weight and  strength。〃

Twenty years ago no 〃palatial private residence〃 was  considered complete unless there was a stationary washstand  (forming a direct connection with the sewer) in each bedroom。   We looked pityingly on foreigners who did not enjoy these  advantages; until one day we realized that the latter were in  the right; and straightway stationary washstands disappeared。

How much time must pass and how many victims be sacrificed  before we come to our senses on the great radiator question?

As a result of our population living in a furnace; it happens  now that when you rebel on being forced to take an impromptu  Turkish bath at a theatre; the usher answers your complaint  with 〃It can't be as warm as you think; for a lady over there  has just told me she felt chilly and asked for more heat!〃

Another invention of the enemy is the 〃revolving door。〃  By  this ingenious contrivance the little fresh air that formerly  crept into a building is now excluded。  Which explains why on  entering our larger hotels one is taken by the throat; as it  were; by a sickening long…dead atmosphere … in which the  souvenir of past meals and decaying flowers floats like a  regret … such as explorers must find on opening an Egyptian  tomb。

Absurd as it may seem; it has become a distinction to have  cool rooms。  Alas; they are rare!  Those blessed households  where one has the delicious sensation of being chilly and can  turn with pleasure toward crackling wood!  The open fire has  become; within the last decade; a test of refinement; almost a  question of good breeding; forming a broad distinction between  dainty households and vulgar ones; and marking the line which  separates the homes of cultivated people from the parlors of  those who care only for display。

A drawing…room filled with heat; the source of which remains  invisible; is as characteristic of the parvenu as clanking  chains on a harness or fine clothes worn in the street。

An open fire is the 〃eye〃 of a room; which can no more be  attractive without it than the human face can be beautiful if  it lacks the visual organs。  The 〃gas fire〃 bears about the  same relation to the real thing as a glass eye does to a  natural one; and produces much the same sensation。  Artificial  eyes are painful necessities in some cases; and therefore  cannot be condemned; but the household which gathers  complacently around a 〃gas log〃 must have something radically  wrong with it; and would be capable of worse offences against  taste and hospitality。

There is a tombstone in a New England grave…yard the  inscription on which reads: 〃I was well; I wanted to be  better。  Here I am。〃

As regards heating of our houses; it's to be feared that we  have gone much the same road as the unfortunate New Englander。   I don't mean to imply that he is now suffering from too much  heat; but we; as a nation; certainly are。

Janitors and parlor…car conductors have replaced the wicked  fairies of other days; but are apparently animated by their  malignant spirit; and employ their hours of brief authority as  cruelly。  No witch dancing around her boiling cauldron was  ever more joyful than the fireman of a modern hotel; as he  gleefully turns more and more steam upon his helpless victims。   Long acquaintance with that gentleman has convinced me that he  cannot plead ignorance as an excuse for falling into these  excesses。  It is pure; unadulterated perversity; else why  should he invariably choose the mildest mornings to show what  his engines can do?

Many explanations have been offered for this love of a high  temperature by our compatriots。  Perhaps the true one has not  yet been found。  Is it not possible that what appears to be  folly and almost criminal negligence of the rules of health;  may be; after all; only a commendable ambition to renew the  exploits of those biblical heroes; Shadrach; Meshach; and  Abednego?




Chapter 12 … The Paris of our Grandparents


WE are apt to fall into the error of assuming that only  American cities have displaced their centres and changed their  appearance during the last half…century。

The 〃oldest inhabitant;〃 with his twice…told tales of  transformations and changes; is to a cer
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