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the ways of men-第28章

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Are there no painters to…day who will whisper to our wives and  mothers the secret of looking really lovely; and persuade them  to abandon their foolish efforts at rejuvenation?

Let us see some real old ladies once more; as they look at us  from miniature and portrait。  Few of us; I imagine; but  cherish the memory of some such being in the old home; a soft… voiced grandmother; with silvery hair brushed under a discreet  and flattering cap; with soft; dark raiment and tulle…wrapped  throat。  There are still; it is to be hoped; many such lovable  women in our land; but at times I look about me in dismay; and  wonder who is to take their places when they are gone。  Are  there to be no more 〃old ladies〃?  Will the next generation  have to look back when the word 〃grandmother〃 is mentioned; to  a stylish vision in Parisian apparel; decollete and decked in  jewels; or arrayed in cocky little bonnets; perched on tousled  curls; knowing jackets; and golfing skirts?

The present horror of anything elderly comes; probably; from  the fact that the preceding generation went to the other  extreme; young women retiring at forty into becapped old age。   Knowing how easily our excitable race runs to exaggeration;  one trembles to think what surprises the future may hold; or  what will be the next decree of Dame Fashion。  Having  eliminated the 〃old lady〃 from off the face of the earth; how  fast shall we continue down the fatal slope toward the  ridiculous?  Shall we be compelled by a current stronger than  our wills to array ourselves each year (the bare thought makes  one shudder) in more and more youthful apparel; until  corpulent senators take to running about in 〃sailor suits;〃  and octogenarian business men go 〃down town〃 in 〃pinafores;〃  while belles of sixty or seventy summers appear in Kate  Greenaway costumes; and dine out in short…sleeved bibs; which  will allow coy glimpses of their cunning old ankles to appear  over their socks?




Chapter 23 … Around a Spring


THE greatest piece of good luck that can befall a Continental  village is the discovery; within its limits; of a spring  supplying some kind of malodorous water。  From that moment the  entire community; abandoning all other plans; give themselves  over to hatching their golden egg; experience having taught  them that no other source of prosperity can compare with a  SOURCE THERMALE。  If the water of the newfound spring; besides  having an unpleasant smell; is also hot; then Providence has  indeed blessed the township。

The first step is to have the fluid analyzed by a celebrity;  and its medicinal qualities duly set forth in a certificate。   The second is to get official recognition from the government  and the authorization to erect a bath house。  Once these  preliminaries accomplished; the way lies plain before the  fortunate village; every citizen; from the mayor down to the  humblest laborer; devotes himself to solving the all…important  problem how to attract strangers to the place and keep and  amuse them when they have been secured。

Multicolored pamphlets detailing the local attractions are  mailed to the four corners of the earth; and brilliant chromos  of the village; with groups of peasants in the foreground;  wearing picturesque costumes; are posted in every available  railway station and booking…office; regardless of the fact  that no costumes have been known in the neighborhood for half  a century; except those provided by the hotel proprietors for  their housemaids。  A national dress; however; has a fine  effect in the advertisement; and gives a local color to the  scene。  What; for instance; would Athens be without that  superb individual in national get…up whom one is sure to see  before the hotel on alighting from the omnibus?  I am  convinced that he has given as much pleasure as the Acropolis  to most travellers; the knowledge that the hotel proprietors  share the expenses of his keep and toilet cannot dispel the  charm of those scarlet embroideries and glittering arms。

After preparing their trap; the wily inhabitants of a new  watering…place have only to sit down and await events。  The  first people to appear on the scene are; naturally; the  English; some hidden natural law compelling that race to  wander forever in inexpensive by…ways and serve as pioneers  for other nations。  No matter how new or inaccessible the  spring; you are sure to find a small colony of Britons  installed in the half…finished hotels; reading week…old  editions of the TIMES; and grumbling over the increase in  prices since the year before。

As soon as the first stray Britons have developed into an  〃English colony;〃 the municipality consider themselves  authorized to construct a casino and open avenues; which are  soon bordered by young trees and younger villas。  In the wake  of the English come invalids of other nationalities。  If a  wandering 〃crowned head〃 can be secured for a season; a great  step is gained; as that will attract the real paying public  and the Americans; who as a general thing are the last to  appear on the scene。

At this stage of its evolution; the 〃city fathers〃 build a  theatre in connection with their casino; and (persuading the  government to wink at their evasion of the gambling laws) add  games of chance to the other temptations of the place。

There is no better example of the way a spring can be  developed by clever handling; and satisfactory results  obtained from advertising and judicious expenditure; than Aix… les…Bains; which twenty years ago was but a tiny mountain  village; and to…day ranks among the wealthiest and most  brilliant EAUX in Europe。  In this case; it is true; they had  tradition to fall back on; for Aquae Gratinae was already a  favorite watering…place in the year 30 B。C。; when Caesar took  the cure。

There is little doubt in my mind that when the Roman Emperor  first arrived he found a colony of spinsters and retired army  officers (from recently conquered Britain) living around this  spring in POPINAE (which are supposed to have corresponded to  our modern boarding…house); wearing waterproof togas and  common…sense cothurni; with double cork soles。

The wife of another Caesar fled hither in 1814。  The little  inn where she passed a summer in the company of her one…eyed  lover … while the fate of her husband and son was being  decided at Vienna and Waterloo … is still standing; and serves  as the annex of a vast new hotel。

The way in which a watering…place is 〃run〃 abroad; where  tourists are regarded as godsends; to be cherished; spoiled;  and despoiled; is amusingly different from the manner of our  village populations when summer visitors (whom they look upon  as natural enemies) appear on the scene。  Abroad the entire  town; together with the surrounding villages; hamlets; and  farmhouses; rack their brains and devote their time to  inventing new amusements for the visitor; and original ways of  enticing the gold from his pocket … for; mind you; on both  continents the object is the same。  In Europe the rural  Machiavellis have had time to learn that smiling faces and  picturesque surroundings are half the battle。

Another point which is perfectly understood abroad is that a  cure must be largely mental; that in consequence boredom  retards recovery。  So during every hour of the day and evening  a different amusement is provided for those who feel inclined  to be amused。  At Aix; for instance; Colonne's orchestra plays  under the trees at the Villa des Fleurs while you are sipping  your after…luncheon coffee。  At three o'clock 〃Guignol〃  performs for the youngsters。  At five o'clock there is another  concert in the Casino。  At eight o'clock an operetta is given  at the villa; and a comedy in the Casino; both ending  discreetly at eleven o'clock。  Once a week; as a variety; the  park is illuminated and fireworks help to pass the evening。

If neither music nor Guignol tempts you; every form of trap  from a four…horse break to a donkey…chair (the latter much in  fashion since the English queen's visit) is standing ready in  the little square。  On the neighboring lake you have but to  choose between a dozen kinds of boats。  The hire of all these  modes of conveyance being fixed by the municipality; and  plainly printed in boat or carriage; extortions or discussions  are impossible。  If you prefer a ramble among the hills; the  wily native is lying in wait for you there also。  When you  arrive breathless at your journey's end; a shady arbor offers  shelter where you may cool off and enjoy the view。  It is not  by accident that a dish of freshly gathered strawberries and a  bowl of milk happen to be standing near by。

When bicycling around the lake you begin to feel how nice a  half hour's rest would be。  Presto! a terrace overhanging the  water appears; and a farmer's wife who proposes brewing you a  cup of tea; supplementing it with butter and bread of her own  making。  Weak human nature cannot withstand such  blandishments。  You find yourself becoming fond of the people  and their smiling ways; returning again and again to shores  where you are made so welcome。  The fact that 〃business〃 is at  the bottom of all this in no way interferes with one's  enjoyment。  On the contrary; to a practical mi
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