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following the usual New York method； it reverts to a design suggestive of a county jail （the Palace and the Prison）； with here and there a balcony hung out； emblematical； doubtless； of the inmates' wash and bedding。 At the ninth floor the repentant architect adds two more stories in memory of the Doge's residence。 Have you ever seen an accordion （concertina； I believe； is the correct name） hanging in a shop window？ The Twenty…fifth Street Doge's Palace reminds me of that humble instrument。 The wooden part； where the keys and round holes are； stands on the sidewalk。 Then come an indefinite number of pleats； and finally the other wooden end well up among the clouds。 So striking is this resemblance that at times one expects to hear the long…drawn moans peculiar to the concertina issuing from those portals。 Alas！ even the most original designs have their drawbacks！ After the proprietor of the Venetian accordion had got his instrument well drawn out and balanced on its end； he perceived that it dwarfed the adjacent buildings； so cast about in his mind for a scheme to add height and dignity to the rest of the block。 One day the astonished neighborhood saw what appeared to be a 〃roomy suburban villa〃 of iron rising on the roof of the old Hoffman House。 The results suggests a small man who； being obliged to walk with a giant； had put on a hat several times too large in order to equalize their heights！
How astonished Pericles and his circle of architects and sculptors would be could they stand on the corner of Broadway and Twenty…eighth Street and see the miniature Parthenon that graces the roof of a pile innocent of other Greek ornament？ They would also recognize their old friends； the ladies of the Erechtheum； doing duty on the Reveillon Building across the way； pretending to hold up a cornice； which； being in proportion to the building； is several hundred times too big for them to carry。 They can't be seen from the sidewalk； … the street is too narrow for that； … but such trifles don't deter builders from decorating when the fit is on them。 Perhaps this one got his caryatides at a bargain； and had to work them in somewhere； so it is not fair to be hard on him。
If ever we take to ballooning； all these elaborate tops may add materially to our pleasure。 At the present moment the birds； and angels； it is to be hoped； appreciate the effort。 I； perhaps； of all the inhabitants of the city； have seen those ladies face to face； when I have gone on a semi…monthly visit to my roof to look for leaks！
〃It's all very well to carp and cavil；〃 many readers will say； 〃but ‘Idler' forgets that our modern architects have had to contend with difficulties that the designers of other ages never faced； demands for space and light forcing the nineteenth…century builders to produce structures which they know are neither graceful nor in proportion！〃
If my readers will give themselves the trouble to glance at several office buildings in the city； they will realize that the problem is not without a solution。 In almost every case where the architect has refrained from useless decoration and stuck to simple lines； the result； if not beautiful； has at least been inoffensive。 It is where inappropriate elaboration is added that taste is offended。 Such structures as the Singer building； corner of Liberty Street and Broadway； and the home of LIFE； in Thirty…first Street； prove that beauty and grace of facade can be adapted to modern business wants。
Feeling as many New Yorkers do about this defacing of what might have been the most beautiful of modern cities； it is galling to be called upon to admire where it is already an effort to tolerate。
A sprightly gentleman； writing recently in a scientific weekly； goes into ecstasies of admiration over the advantages and beauty of a steel mastodon on Park Row； a building that has the proportions of a carpenter's plane stood on end； decorated here and there with balconies and a colonnade perched on brackets up toward its fifteenth story。 He complacently gives us its weight and height as compared with the pyramids； and numerous other details as to floor space and ventilation； and hints in conclusion that only old fogies and dullards； unable to keep pace with the times； fail to appreciate the charm of such structures in a city。 One of the 〃points〃 this writer makes is the quality of air enjoyed by tenants； amusingly oblivious of the fact that at least three facades of each tall building will see the day only so long as the proprietors of adjacent land are too poor or too busy to construct similar colossi！
When all the buildings in a block are the same height； seven eighths of the rooms in each will be without light or ventilation。 It's rather poor taste to brag of advantages that are enjoyed only through the generosity of one's neighbors。
Business demands may force us to bow before the necessity of these horrors； but it certainly is 〃rubbing it in〃 to ask our applause。 When the Eiffel Tower was in course of construction； the artists and literary lights of Paris raised a tempest of protest。 One wonders why so little of the kind has been done here。 It is perhaps rather late in the day to suggest reform； yet if more New Yorkers would interest themselves in the work； much might still be done to modify and improve our metropolis。
One hears with satisfaction that a group of architects have lately met and discussed plans for the embellishment of our neglected city。 There is a certain poetical justice in the proposition coming from those who have worked so much of the harm。 Remorse has before now been known to produce good results。 The United States treasury yearly receives large sums of 〃conscience money。〃
Chapter 7 … Worldly Color…Blindness
MYRIADS of people have no ear for music and derive but little pleasure from sweet sounds。 Strange as it may appear； many gifted and sensitive mortals have been unable to distinguish one note from another； Apollo's harmonious art remaining for them； as for the elder Dumas； only an 〃expensive noise。〃
Another large class find it impossible to discriminate between colors。 Men afflicted in this way have even become painters of reputation。 I knew one of the latter； who； when a friend complimented him on having caught the exact shade of a pink toilet in one of his portraits； answered； 〃Does that dress look pink to you？ I thought it was green！〃 and yet he had copied what he saw correctly。
Both these classes are to be pitied； but are not the cause of much suffering to others。 It is annoying； I grant you； to be torn asunder in a collision； because red and green lights on the switches combined into a pleasing harmony before the brakeman's eyes。 The tone…deaf gentleman who insists on whistling a popular melody is almost as trying as the lady suffering from the same weakness； who shouts； 〃Ninon； Ninon； que fais…tu de la vie！〃 until you feel impelled to cry； 〃Que faites…vous； madame； with the key？〃
Examinations now keep daltonic gentlemen out of locomotives； and ladies who have lost their 〃keys〃 are apt to find their friends' pianos closed。 What we cannot guard against is a variety of the genus HOMO which suffers from 〃social color… blindness。〃 These well…meaning mortals form one of the hardest trials that society is heir to； for the disease is incurable； and as it is almost impossible to escape from them； they continue to spread dismay and confusion along their path to the bitter end。
This malady； which； as far as I know； has not been diagnosed； invades all circles； and is； curiously enough； rampant among well…born and apparently well…bred people。
Why is it that the entertainments at certain houses are always dull failures； while across the way one enjoys such agreeable evenings？ Both hosts are gentlemen； enjoying about the same amount of 〃unearned increment；〃 yet the atmosphere of their houses is radically different。 This contrast cannot be traced to the dulness or brilliancy of the entertainer and his wife。 Neither can it be laid at the door of inexperience； for the worst offenders are often old hands at the game。
The only explanation possible is that the owners of houses where one is bored are socially color…blind； as cheerfully unconscious of their weakness as the keyless lady and the whistling abomination。
Since increasing wealth has made entertaining general and lavish； this malady has become more and more apparent； until one is tempted to parody Mme。 Roland's dying exclamation and cry； 〃Hospitality！ hospitility！ what crimes are committed in thy name！〃
Entertaining is for many people but an excuse for ostentation。 For others it is a means to an end； while a third variety apparently keep a debit and credit account with their acquaintances … in books of double entry； so that no errors may occur … and issue invitations like receipts； only in return for value received。
We can rarely tell what is passing in the minds of people about us。 Some of those mentioned above may feel a vague pleasure when their rooms are filled with a chattering crowd of more or less well…assorted guest