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her slave； and that； being her slave； I should execute her will in
all things。 With the essential shallowness of a negative；
unimaginative nature； she was unable to conceive the fact that
sensibilities were anything else than weaknesses。 She had thought
my weaknesses would put me in her power； and she found them
unmanageable forces。 Our positions were reversed。 Before marriage
she had completely mastered my imagination； for she was a secret to
me； and I created the unknown thought before which I trembled as if
it were hers。 But now that her soul was laid open to me； now that
I was compelled to share the privacy of her motives； to follow all
the petty devices that preceded her words and acts； she found
herself powerless with me； except to produce in me the chill
shudder of repulsionpowerless； because I could be acted on by no
lever within her reach。 I was dead to worldly ambitions； to social
vanities； to all the incentives within the compass of her narrow
imagination； and I lived under influences utterly invisible to her。
She was really pitiable to have such a husband； and so all the
world thought。 A graceful； brilliant woman； like Bertha； who
smiled on morning callers； made a figure in ball…rooms； and was
capable of that light repartee which； from such a woman； is
accepted as wit； was secure of carrying off all sympathy from a
husband who was sickly； abstracted； and； as some suspected； crack…
brained。 Even the servants in our house gave her the balance of
their regard and pity。 For there were no audible quarrels between
us； our alienation； our repulsion from each other； lay within the
silence of our own hearts； and if the mistress went out a great
deal； and seemed to dislike the master's society； was it not
natural； poor thing？ The master was odd。 I was kind and just to
my dependants； but I excited in them a shrinking； half…contemptuous
pity； for this class of men and women are but slightly determined
in their estimate of others by general considerations； or even
experience； of character。 They judge of persons as they judge of
coins； and value those who pass current at a high rate。
After a time I interfered so little with Bertha's habits that it
might seem wonderful how her hatred towards me could grow so
intense and active as it did。 But she had begun to suspect； by
some involuntary betrayal of mine； that there was an abnormal power
of penetration in methat fitfully； at least； I was strangely
cognizant of her thoughts and intentions； and she began to be
haunted by a terror of me； which alternated every now and then with
defiance。 She meditated continually how the incubus could be
shaken off her lifehow she could be freed from this hateful bond
to a being whom she at once despised as an imbecile； and dreaded as
an inquisitor。 For a long while she lived in the hope that my
evident wretchedness would drive me to the commission of suicide；
but suicide was not in my nature。 I was too completely swayed by
the sense that I was in the grasp of unknown forces； to believe in
my power of self…release。 Towards my own destiny I had become
entirely passive； for my one ardent desire had spent itself； and
impulse no longer predominated over knowledge。 For this reason I
never thought of taking any steps towards a complete separation；
which would have made our alienation evident to the world。 Why
should I rush for help to a new course； when I was only suffering
from the consequences of a deed which had been the act of my
intensest will？ That would have been the logic of one who had
desires to gratify； and I had no desires。 But Bertha and I lived
more and more aloof from each other。 The rich find it easy to live
married and apart。
That course of our life which I have indicated in a few sentences
filled the space of years。 So much miseryso slow and hideous a
growth of hatred and sin； may be compressed into a sentence！ And
men judge of each other's lives through this summary medium。 They
epitomize the experience of their fellow…mortal； and pronounce
judgment on him in neat syntax； and feel themselves wise and
virtuousconquerors over the temptations they define in well…
selected predicates。 Seven years of wretchedness glide glibly over
the lips of the man who has never counted them out in moments of
chill disappointment； of head and heart throbbings； of dread and
vain wrestling； of remorse and despair。 We learn WORDS by rote；
but not their meaning； THAT must be paid for with our life…blood；
and printed in the subtle fibres of our nerves。
But I will hasten to finish my story。 Brevity is justified at once
to those who readily understand； and to those who will never
understand。
Some years after my father's death； I was sitting by the dim
firelight in my library one January eveningsitting in the leather
chair that used to be my father'swhen Bertha appeared at the
door； with a candle in her hand； and advanced towards me。 I knew
the ball…dress she had onthe white ball…dress； with the green
jewels； shone upon by the light of the wax candle which lit up the
medallion of the dying Cleopatra on the mantelpiece。 Why did she
come to me before going out？ I had not seen her in the library；
which was my habitual place for months。 Why did she stand before
me with the candle in her hand； with her cruel contemptuous eyes
fixed on me； and the glittering serpent； like a familiar demon； on
her breast？ For a moment I thought this fulfilment of my vision at
Vienna marked some dreadful crisis in my fate； but I saw nothing in
Bertha's mind； as she stood before me； except scorn for the look of
overwhelming misery with which I sat before her 。 。 。 〃Fool； idiot；
why don't you kill yourself； then？〃that was her thought。 But at
length her thoughts reverted to her errand； and she spoke aloud。
The apparently indifferent nature of the errand seemed to make a
ridiculous anticlimax to my prevision and my agitation。
〃I have had to hire a new maid。 Fletcher is going to be married；
and she wants me to ask you to let her husband have the public…
house and farm at Molton。 I wish him to have it。 You must give
the promise now； because Fletcher is going to…morrow morningand
quickly； because I'm in a hurry。〃
〃Very well； you may promise her；〃 I said； indifferently； and Bertha
swept out of the library again。
I always shrank from the sight of a new person； and all the more
when it was a person whose mental life was likely to weary my
reluctant insight with worldly ignorant trivialities。 But I shrank
especially from the sight of this new maid； because her advent had
been announced to me at a moment to which I could not cease to
attach some fatality： I had a vague dread that I should find her
mixed up with the dreary drama of my lifethat some new sickening
vision would reveal her to me as an evil genius。 When at last I
did unavoidably meet her； the vague dread was changed into definite
disgust。 She was a tall； wiry； dark…eyed woman； this Mrs。 Archer；
with a face handsome enough to give her coarse hard nature the
odious finish of bold； self…confident coquetry。 That was enough to
make me avoid her； quite apart from the contemptuous feeling with
which she contemplated me。 I seldom saw her； but I perceived that
she rapidly became a favourite with her mistress； and； after the
lapse of eight or nine months； I began to be aware that there had
arisen in Bertha's mind towards this woman a mingled feeling of
fear and dependence； and that this feeling was associated with ill…
defined images of candle…light scenes in her dressing…room； and the
locking…up of something in Bertha's cabinet。 My interviews with my
wife had become so brief and so rarely solitary； that I had no
opportunity of perceiving these images in her mind with more
definiteness。 The recollections of the past become contracted in
the rapidity of thought till they sometimes bear hardly a more
distinct resemblance to the external reality than the forms of an
oriental alphabet to the objects that suggested them。
Besides； for the last year or more a modification had been going
forward in my mental condition； and was growing more and more
marked。 My insight into the minds of those around me was becoming
dimmer and more fitful； and the ideas that crowded my double
consciousness became less and less dependent on any personal
contact。 All that was personal in me seemed to be suffering a
gradual death； so that I was losing the organ through which the
personal agitations and projects of others could affect me。 But
along with this relief from wearisome insight； there was a new
development of what I concludedas I have since found rightlyto
be a provision of external scenes。 It was as if the relation
between me and my fellow…men was more and more deadened； and my
relation to what we call the inanimate was quickened into new life。
The more I lived apart from society； and in proportion as my
wretchedness subsided from the violent throb of agonized passion
into the dulness of habitual pain； the more frequent and vivid
became such visions as that I had had of Pragueof strange cities；
of sandy plains； of gigantic ruins； of midnight skies with strange
bright constell