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at the stake for religious principles； or put in a bell…tent in the sun
with the thermometer at 110 degrees Fahr。 simply because they are
British soldiersit does not much matterbut the moment your merchants
are slain upon the altar； the boiling…point is reached。
The store…keepers sat despondingly behind their counters while the
hinges of their doors rusted from the absence of in…comers。 It was
impossible to rouse them from their state of mercantile coma； except by
one word； which had a magnetic effect upon their nervous
system…〃Custom House。〃
〃I suppose you have no difficulty at the Custom House； Mr。in this
simple island？〃 This was invariably the red rag to the bull。
〃No difficulty； Sir！no difficulty？it is THE difficultywe are
absolutely paralysed by the Custom House。 Every box is broken open and
the contents strewed upon the ground。 The duty is ad valorem upon all
articles； and an ignorant Turk is the valuer。 This man does not know the
difference between a bootjack and a lemon…squeezer： only the other day
he valued wire dish…covers as ‘articles of head…dress；' （probably he had
seen wire fencing…masks）。 If he is perplexed； he is obliged to refer the
questionable article to the Chief Office；this is two hundred yards
from the landing place：thus he passes half the day in running
backwards and forwards with trifles of contested value to his superior；
while crowds are kept waiting； and the store is piled with goods most
urgently required。〃 。 。 。
I immediately went to see this eccentric representative of Anglo…Turkish
political…and…mercantile…combination； and found very little
exaggeration in the description； except that the distance was 187 paces
instead of 200 which he had to perform； whenever the character of the
article was beyond the sphere of his experience。 As this happened about
every quarter of an hour； he could not complain of a sedentary
employment。 A few days after this； migratory birds arrived in Cyprus
upon the inhospitable shore opposite the Custom House in the shape of
two Liberal M。P's。 from England；who visited the island specially to
form an honest opinion free from all political bias。 Whether these
gentlemen were undervalued by the eccentric official to whom I have
alluded； or whether he suspected Liberals as opponents to be regarded
and treated as spies； we never could determine； but utterly disregarding
their innocent exterior； he subjected them to the extreme torture of the
Custom House； and dived and plunged into the very bowels and bottoms of
their numerous small packages； rumpling clean linen； and producing a
toilettic chaos。 To the honour of these members of the Opposition they
never brought the question before the House upon their return to
England； neither did they make it the foundation of an attack upon the
Government。
An excess of zeal is not uncommon among ignorant officials newly raised
to a position of authority： thus Larnaca was outdone by the Custom House
representative at Limasol in vigilance and strict attention to the
administrative tortures of his office。 I have heard of cases of crockery
being unpacked upon the beach and spread out to be counted and valued
upon the loose stones of shingle！
The unfortunate European traders of Larnaca were shortly relieved of
their Custom House troubles by the total absence of imports。 The native
Cypriote does not purchase at European shops； his wants are few； the
smallest piece of soap will last an indefinite period； he is frugal to
an extreme degree； and if he has desires； he curbs such temptations and
hoards his coin。 Thus； as the natives did not purchase； and all
Europeans were sellers without buyers； there was no alternative but to
shut the shutters。 This was a species of commercial suicide which made
Larnaca a place of departed spirits； in which unhappy state it remains
to the present hour。 Even the club was closed。
CHAPTER II。
THE GIPSY…VANS ENCOUNTER DIFFICULTIES。
My gipsy…van was not of doubtful character。 I had purchased it direct
from the gipsies in England； and it had been specially arranged for the
Cyprus journey by Messrs。 Glover Bros。 of Dean Street； Soho； London。 It
had been painted and varnished with many coats both inside and out； and
nobody； unless an experienced gipsy； would have known that it was not
newly born from the maker's yard。 Originally it had been constructed for
shafts； as one horse was considered sufficient upon the roads of
England； but when it arrived in Cyprus it appeared to have grown during
the voyage about two sizes larger than when it was last seen。 As the
small animals of Larnaca passed by； where my lovely van blocked up the
entire street； and forced the little creatures upon the footpath； they
looked in comparison as though they had just been disembarked upon Mount
Ararat from the original Noah's ark； represented by the gipsy…van！ The
Cypriotes are polite； therefore I heard no rude remarks。 The Cypriote
boys are like all other boys； therefore they climbed to the top of the
van； and endeavoured by escalade to enter the windows。 On one occasion I
captured HALF A BOY （the posterior half） who was hanging with legs
dangling out of the window； his 〃forlorn…hope〃 or advance half vainly
endeavouring to obtain a resting…place upon vacuity within （as the fall
slab…table was down）。 I had no stick； but the toes of his boots had
imprinted first impressions upon the faultless varnish。 What became of
that young Cypriote was never known。
Even in Cyprus there are municipal laws； and now that the English are
there they are enforced； therefore my huge van could not remain like a
wad in a gun…barrel； and entirely block the street。 A London policeman
would have desired it to 〃move on〃 butthis was the real grievance
that I had against Larnacathe van COULD NOT 〃MOVE ON；〃 owing to its
extreme height； which interfered with the wooden water…spouts from the
low roofs of the flat…topped houses。 This was a case of 〃real distress。〃
My van represented civilisation： the water…spouts represented barbarism。
If a London omnibus crowded with outside passengers had attempted to
drive through Larnaca； both driver and passengers would have been swept
into I have not the slightest notion where； and my van was two feet
higher than an omnibus！
I determined that I would avoid all inferior thoroughfares； and that the
van should pass down Wolseley Street； drawn by a number of men who would
be superior in intelligence to the Cypriote mules and be careful in
turning the corners。
I did not see the start； as a person with an 〃excess of zeal〃 had
started it with a crowd of madmen without orders； and I was only a late
spectator some hours after its arrival opposite Craddock's Hotel。 It
rather resembled a ship that had been in bad weather and in collision
with a few steamers。 How many water…spouts it had carried away I never
heard。 The fore…axle was broken； as it appeared that in rounding a
corner it had been dragged by main force upon the curbstone about
sixteen inches high； from which it had bumped violently down。 It had
then been backed against a water…spout； which had gone completely
through what sailors would term the 〃stern。〃 One shutter was split in
two pieces； and one window smashed。 Altogether； what with bruises；
scratches； broken axle； and other damages； my van looked ten years older
since the morning。
Fortunately among the Europeans who had flocked to Cyprus since the
British occupation was a French blacksmith； whose forge was only a few
yards from Craddock's Hotel； where my wrecked vessel blocked the way。 I
had a new fore axle…tree made； and strengthened the hinder axle。 I also
fitted a bullock…pole； instead of shafts； for a pair of oxen； the
springs I bound up with iron wire shrunk on while red…hot。 I took out
the stove； as it was not necessary； and its absence increased the space；
and I inserted a ventilator in the roof in place of the chimney。 When
repaired； the van looked as good as new； and was much stronger； and well
adapted for rough travel。 The only thing it now wanted was a ROAD！
The highways of Cyprus were mere mule…tracks。 The only legitimate road
in existence was of most recent construction； which represented the new
birth of British enterprise； from Larnaca to the capital； Nicosia （or
Lefkosia）； about twenty…eight miles。 The regrettable paucity of
stone…hammers rendered it impossible to prepare the metal； therefore
huge rounded blocks； bigger than a man's head； had been thrown down for
a foundation； upon which some roughly broken and a quantity of unbroken
smaller stones had been spread。
Of course there was only one method of travelling upon this route with
the gipsy…van： this was to avoid it altogether； but to keep upon the
natural soil on the side of the newly…made level。
My second van was most satisfactory； and was light in proportion to its
strength and capacity。 This was arranged specially for luggage； and was
entirely closed by doors at either end； which were secured by bolts and
locks。 Above the luggage； and about two feet six inches below the roof；
a sliding deck formed of movable planks afforded a comfortable
sleeping…berth for a servant。 In the front a projecting roof sheltered