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harge that Socialists are too lazy to work for their living。 And as to taking advantage of the ignorance and simplicity of working men and trying to mislead them with nonsensical claptrap； it would have been more to the point if Mr Grinder had taken some particular Socialist doctrine and had proved it to be untrue or misleading； instead of adopting the cowardly method of making vague general charges that he cannot substantiate。 He would find it far more difficult to do that than it would be for a Socialist to show that most of what Mr Grinder himself has been telling us is nonsensical claptrap of the most misleading kind。 He tells us that the employers work with their brains and the men with their hands。 If it is true that no brains are required to do manual labour； why put idiots into imbecile asylums？ Why not let them do some of the hand work for which no brains are required？ As they are idiots； they would probably be willing to work for even less than the ideal 〃living wage〃。 If Mr Grinder had ever tried； he would know that manual workers have to concentrate their minds and their attention on their work or they would not be able to do it at all。 His talk about employers being not only the masters but the 〃friends〃 of their workmen is also mere claptrap because he knows as well as we do； that no matter how good or benevolent an employer may be； no matter how much he might desire to give his men good conditions； it is impossible for him to do so； because he has to compete against other employers who do not do that。 It is the bad employer … the sweating； slave…driving employer … who sets the pace and the others have to adopt the same methods … very often against their inclinations … or they would not be able to compete with him。 If any employer today were to resolve to pay his workmen not less wages than he would be able to live upon in comfort himself； that he would not require them to do more work in a day than he himself would like to perform every day of his own life； Mr Grinder knows as well as we do that such an employer would be bankrupt in a month； because he would not be able to get any work except by taking it at the same price as the sweaters and the slave…drivers。
‘He also tells us that the interests of masters and men are identical； but if an employer has a contract； it is to his interest to get the work done as soon as possible； the sooner it is done the more profit he will make； but the more quickly it is done； the sooner will the men be out of employment。 How then can it be true that their interests are identical？
‘Again； let us suppose that an employer is； say； thirty years of age when he commences business； and that he carries it on for twenty years。 Let us assume that he employs forty men more or less regularly during that period and that the average age of these men is also thirty years at the time the employer commences business。 At the end of the twenty years it usually happens that the employer has made enough money to enable him to live for the remainder of his life in ease and comfort。 But what about the workman？ All through those twenty years they have earned but a bare living wage and have had to endure such privations that those who are not already dead are broken in health。
‘In the case of the employer there had been twenty years of steady progress towards ease and leisure and independence。 In the case of the majority of the men there were twenty years of deterioration； twenty years of steady； continuous and hopeless progress towards physical and mental inefficiency： towards the scrap…heap； the work…house； and premature death。 What is it but false； misleading； nonsensical claptrap to say that their interests were identical with those of their employer？
‘Such talk as that is not likely to deceive any but children or fools。 We are not children； but it is very evident that Mr Grinder thinks that we are fools。
‘Occasionally it happens； through one or more of a hundred different circumstances over which he has no control； or through some error of judgement； that after many years of laborious mental work an employer is overtaken by misfortune； and finds himself no better and even worse off than when he started； but these are exceptional cases； and even if he becomes absolutely bankrupt he is no worse off than the majority of the workmen。
‘At the same time it is quite true that the real interests of employers and workmen are the same； but not in the sense that Mr Grinder would have us believe。 Under the existing system of society but a very few people； no matter how well off they may be； can be certain that they or their children will not eventually come to want； and even those who think they are secure themselves； find their happiness diminished by the knowledge of the poverty and misery that surrounds them on every side。
‘In that sense only is it true that the interests of masters and men are identical； for it is to the interest of all； both rich and poor； to help to destroy a system that inflicts suffering upon the many and allows true happiness to none。 It is to the interest of all to try and find a better way。'
Here Crass jumped up and interrupted； shouting out that they hadn't come there to listen to a lot of speechmaking … a remark that was greeted with unbounded applause by most of those present。 Loud cries of ‘Hear； hear！' resounded through the room； and the Semi…drunk suggested that someone should sing a song。
The men who had clamoured for a speech from Owen said nothing； and Mr Grinder； who had been feeling rather uncomfortable； was secretly very glad of the interruption。
The Semi…drunk's suggestion that someone should sing a song was received with unqualified approbation by everybody； including Barrington and the other Socialists； who desired nothing better than that the time should be passed in a manner suitable to the occasion。 The landlord's daughter； a rosy girl of about twenty years of age； in a pink print dress； sat down at the piano； and the Semi…drunk； taking his place at the side of the instrument and facing the audience； sang the first song with appropriate gestures； the chorus being rendered enthusiastically by the full strength of the company； including Misery； who by this time was slightly drunk from drinking gin and ginger beer：
‘Come； come； come an' 'ave a drink with me Down by the ole Bull and Bush。 Come； come； come an' shake 'ands with me Down by the ole Bull and Bush。 Wot cheer me little Germin band！ Fol the diddle di do！ Come an' take 'old of me 'and Come； come； come an' 'ave a drink with me； Down by the old Bull and Bush； Bush！ Bush！'
Protracted knocking on the tables greeted the end of the song； but as the Semi…drunk knew no other except odd verses and choruses； he called upon Crass for the next； and that gentleman accordingly sang ‘Work； Boys； Work' to the tune of ‘Tramp； tramp； tramp； the boys are marching'。 As this song is the Marseillaise of the Tariff Reform Party； voicing as it does the highest ideals of the Tory workmen of this country； it was an unqualified success； for most of them were Conservatives。
‘Now I'm not a wealthy man； But I lives upon a plan Wot will render me as 'appy as a King； An' if you will allow； I'll sing it to you now； For time you know is always on the wing。
Work； boys； work and be contented So long as you've enough to buy a meal。 For if you will but try； you'll be wealthy … bye and bye … If you'll only put yer shoulder to the wheel。'
‘Altogether； boys；' shouted Grinder； who was a strong Tariff Reformer； and was delighted to see that most of the men were of the same way of thinking； and the ‘boys' roared out the chorus once more：
Work； boys； work and be contented So long as you've enough to buy a meal For if you will but try； you'll be wealthy … bye and bye If you'll only put your shoulder to the wheel。
As they sang the words of this noble chorus the Tories seemed to become inspired with lofty enthusiasm。 It is of course impossible to say for certain； but probably as they sang there arose before their exalted imaginations； a vision of the Past； and looking down the long vista of the years that were gone； they saw that from their childhood they had been years of poverty and joyless toil。 They saw their fathers and mothers； weaned and broken with privation and excessive labour； sinking unhonoured into the welcome oblivion of the grave。
And then； as a change came over the spirit of their dream； they saw the Future； with their own children travelling along the same weary road to the same kind of goal。
It is possible that visions of this character were conjured up in their minds by the singing； for the words of the song gave expression to their ideal of what human life should be。 That was all they wanted … to be allowed to work like brutes for the benefit of other people。 They did not want to be civilized themselves and they intended to take good care that the children they had brought into the world should never enjoy the benefits of civilization either。 As they often said：
‘Who and what are our