按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
except the four or five who crowded on a capacious settle； we drank
a lot of beer and were often fuddled； and occasionally quite drunk；
and we all smoked reckless…looking pipes；there was a transient
fashion among us for corn cobs for which Mark Twain； I think； was
responsible。 Our little excesses with liquor were due far more to
conscience than appetite； indicated chiefly a resolve to break away
from restraints that we suspected were keeping us off the
instructive knife…edges of life。 Hatherleigh was a good Englishman
of the premature type with a red face； a lot of hair； a deep voice
and an explosive plunging manner； and it was he who said one
eveningHeaven knows how we got to it〃 Look here； you know； it's
all Rot； this Shutting Up about Women。 We OUGHT to talk about them。
What are we going to do about them？ It's got to come。 We're all
festering inside about it。 Let's out with it。 There's too much
Decency altogether about this Infernal University！〃
We rose to his challenge a little awkwardly and our first talk was
clumsy； there were flushed faces and red ears； and I remember
Hatherleigh broke out into a monologue on decency。 〃Modesty and
Decency；〃 said Hatherleigh； 〃are Oriental vices。 The Jews brought
them to Europe。 They're Semitic； just like our monasticism here and
the seclusion of women and mutilating the dead on a battlefield。
And all that sort of thing。〃
Hatherleigh's mind progressed by huge leaps； leaps that were usually
wildly inaccurate； and for a time we engaged hotly upon the topic of
those alleged mutilations and the Semitic responsibility for
decency。 Hatherleigh tried hard to saddle the Semitic race with the
less elegant war customs of the Soudan and the northwest frontier of
India； and quoted Doughty； at that time a little…known author； and
Cunninghame Graham to show that the Arab was worse than a county…
town spinster in his regard for respectability。 But his case was
too preposterous； and Esmeer； with his shrill penetrating voice and
his way of pointing with all four long fingers flat together；
carried the point against him。 He quoted Cato and Roman law and the
monasteries of Thibet。
〃Well； anyway；〃 said Hatherleigh； escaping from our hands like an
intellectual frog； 〃Semitic or not； I've got no use for decency。〃
We argued points and Hatherleigh professed an unusually balanced and
tolerating attitude。 〃I don't mind a certain refinement and
dignity；〃 he admitted generously。 〃What I object to is this
spreading out of decency until it darkens the whole sky； until it
makes a man's father afraid to speak of the most important things；
until it makes a man afraid to look a frank book in the face or
thinkeven think！ until it leads to our coming toto the business
at last with nothing but a few prohibitions； a few hints； a lot of
dirty jokes and； and 〃he waved a hand and seemed to seek and catch
his image in the air〃 oh； a confounded buttered slide of
sentiment； to guide us。 I tell you I'm going to think about it and
talk about it until I see a little more daylight than I do at
present。 I'm twenty…two。 Things might happen to me anywhen。 You
men can go out into the world if you like； to sin like fools and
marry like fools； not knowing what you are doing and ashamed to ask。
You'll take the consequences； too； I expect； pretty meekly；
sniggering a bit； sentimentalising a bit； likelike Cambridge
humorists。 。 。 。 I mean to know what I'm doing。〃
He paused to drink； and I think I cut in with ideas of my own。 But
one is apt to forget one's own share in a talk； I find； more than
one does the clear…cut objectivity of other people's； and I do not
know how far I contributed to this discussion that followed。 I am；
however； pretty certain that it was then that ideal that we were
pleased to call aristocracy and which soon became the common
property of our set was developed。 It was Esmeer； I know； who laid
down and maintained the proposition that so far as minds went there
were really only two sorts of man in the world； the aristocrat and
the man who subdues his mind to other people's。
〃'I couldn't THINK of it； Sir；'〃 said Esmeer in his elucidatory
tones； 〃that's what a servant says。 His mind even is broken in to
run between fences； and he admits it。 WE'VE got to he able to think
of anything。 And 'such things aren't for the Likes of Us！' That's
another servant's saying。 Well； everything IS for the Likes of Us。
If we see fit； that is。〃
A small fresh…coloured man in grey objected。
〃Well；〃 exploded Hatherleigh； 〃if that isn't so what the deuce are
we up here for？ Instead of working in mines？ If some things aren't
to be thought about ever！ We've got the privilege of all these
extra years for getting things straight in our heads； and then we
won't use 'em。 Good God！ what do you think a university's for？〃 。 。 。
Esmeer's idea came with an effect of real emancipation to several of
us。 We were not going to be afraid of ideas any longer； we were
going to throw down every barrier of prohibition and take them in
and see what came of it。 We became for a time even intemperately
experimental； and one of us； at the bare suggestion of an eminent
psychic investigator； took hashish and very nearly died of it within
a fortnight of our great elucidation。
The chief matter of our interchanges was of course the discussion of
sex。 Once the theme had been opened it became a sore place in our
intercourse； none of us seemed able to keep away from it。 Our
imaginations got astir with it。 We made up for lost time and went
round it and through it and over it exhaustively。 I recall
prolonged discussion of polygamy on the way to Royston； muddy
November tramps to Madingley； when amidst much profanity from
Hatherleigh at the serious treatment of so obsolete a matter； we
weighed the reasons； if any； for the institution of marriage。 The
fine dim night…time spaces of the Great Court are bound up with the
inconclusive finales of mighty hot…eared wrangles； the narrows of
Trinity Street and Petty Cury and Market Hill have their particular
associations for me with that spate of confession and free speech；
that almost painful goal delivery of long pent and crappled and
sometimes crippled ideas。
And we went on a reading party that Easter to a place called
Pulborough in Sussex； where there is a fishing inn and a river that
goes under a bridge。 It was a late Easter and a blazing one； and we
boated and bathed and talked of being Hellenic and the beauty of the
body until at moments it seemed to us that we were destined to
restore the Golden Age； by the simple abolition of tailors and
outfitters。
Those undergraduate talks！ how rich and glorious they seemed； how
splendidly new the ideas that grew and multiplied in our seething
minds！ We made long afternoon and evening raids over the Downs
towards Arundel； and would come tramping back through the still keen
moonlight singing and shouting。 We formed romantic friendships with
one another； and grieved more or less convincingly that there were
no splendid women fit to be our companions in the world。 But
Hatherleigh； it seemed； had once known a girl whose hair was
gloriously red。 〃My God！〃 said Hatherleigh to convey the quality of
her； just simply and with projectile violence： 〃My God！
Benton had heard of a woman who lived with a man refusing to be
married to himwe thought that splendid beyond measure；I cannot
now imagine why。 She was 〃like a tender goddess；〃 Benton said。 A
sort of shame came upon us in the dark in spite of our liberal
intentions when Benton committed himself to that。 And after such
talk we would fall upon great pauses of emotional dreaming； and if
by chance we passed a girl in a governess cart； or some farmer's
daughter walking to the station； we became alertly silent or
obstreperously indifferent to her。 For might she not be just that
one exception to the banal decency； the sickly pointless
conventionality； the sham modesty of the times in which we lived？
We felt we stood for a new movement； not realising how perennially
this same emancipation returns to those ancient courts beside the
Cam。 We were the anti…decency party； we discovered a catch phrase
that we flourished about in the Union and made our watchword；
namely； 〃stark fact。〃 We hung nude pictures in our rooms much as if
they had been flags； to the earnest concern of our bedders； and I
disinterred my long…kept engraving and had it framed in fumed oak；
and found for it a completer and less restrained companion； a
companion I never cared for in the slightest degree。 。 。 。
This efflorescence did not prevent； I think indeed it rather helped；
our more formal university work； for most of us took firsts； and
three of us got Fellowships in one year o