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absence was modified by a sudden； vehement protest against sordidness。 Why
should she not live by herself amidst clean and tidy surroundings？ She had
begun to earn enough； and somehow a vista had been opened upa vista whose end
she could not see； alluring； enticing。。。。 In the dining…room； by the cleared
table； her father was reading the Banner； her mother appeared in the kitchen
door。
〃What in the world happened to you； Janet？〃 she exclaimed。
〃Nothing；〃 said Janet。 〃Mr。 Ditmar asked me to staythat was all。 He'd been
away。〃
〃I was worried； I was going to make your father go down to the mill。 I've
saved you some supper。〃
〃I don't want much；〃 Janet told her； 〃I'm not hungry。〃
〃I guess you have to work too hard in that new place；〃 said Hannah； as she
brought in the filled plate from the oven。
〃Well； it seems to agree with her； mother；〃 declared Edward； who could always
be counted on to say the wrong thing with the best of intentions。 〃I never saw
her looking as wellwhy； I swan； she's getting real pretty！〃
Hannah darted at him a glance； but restrained herself； and Janet reddened as
she tried to eat the beans placed before her。 The pork had browned and
hardened at the edges； the gravy had spread； a crust covered the potatoes。
When her father resumed his reading of the Banner and her mother went back into
the kitchen she began to speculate rather resentfully and yet excitedly why it
was that this adventure with a man； with Ditmar； made her look better； feel
better；more alive。 She was too honest to disguise from herself that it was
an adventure； a high one； fraught with all sorts of possibilities； dangers； and
delights。 Her promotion had been merely incidental。 Both her mother and
father； did they know the true circumstances；that Mr。 Ditmar desired her； was
perhaps in love with herwould be disturbed。 Undoubtedly they would have
believed that she could 〃take care〃 of herself。 She knew that matters could
not go on as they were； that she would either have to leave Mr。 Ditmar orand
here she baulked at being logical。 She had no intention of leaving him： to
remain； according to the notions of her parents； would be wrong。 Why was it
that doing wrong agreed with her； energized her； made her more alert； cleverer；
keying up her faculties？ turned life from a dull affair into a momentous one？
To abandon Ditmar would be to slump back into the humdrum； into something from
which she had magically been emancipated； symbolized by the home in which she
sat； by the red…checked tablecloth； the ugly metal lamp； the cherry chairs with
the frayed seats； the horsehair sofa from which the stuffing protruded； the
tawdry pillow with its colours； once gay； that Lise had bought at a bargain at
the Bagatelle。。。。 The wooden clock with the round face and quaint landscape
belowthe family's most cherished heirloomthough long familiar； was not so
bad； but the two yellowed engravings on the wall offended her。 They had been
wedding presents to Edward's father。 One represented a stupid German peasant
woman holding a baby； and standing in front of a thatched cottage； its
companion was a sylvan scene in which certain wooden rustics were supposed to
be enjoying themselves。 Between the two； and dotted with flyspecks； hung an
insurance calendar on which was a huge head of a lady； florid； fluffy…haired；
flirtatious。 Lise thought her beautiful。
The room was ugly。 She had long known that； but tonight the realization came
to her that what she chiefly resented in it was the note it proclaimedthe
note of a mute acquiescence； without protest or struggle； in what life might
send。 It reflected accurately the attitude of her parents； particularly of her
father。 With an odd sense of detachment； of critical remoteness and contempt
she glanced at him as he sat stupidly absorbed in his newspaper； his face
puckered； his lips pursed； and Ditmar rose before herDitmar； the embodiment
of an indomitableness that refused to be beaten and crushed。 She thought of
the story he had told her； how by self…assertion and persistence he had become
agent of the Chippering Mill； how he had convinced Mr。 Stephen Chippering of
his ability。 She could not think of the mill as belonging to the Chipperings
and the other stockholders； but to Ditmar； who had shaped it into an expression
of himself； since it was his ideal。 And now it seemed that he had made it hers
also。 She regretted having repulsed him； pushed her plate away from her； and
rose。
〃You haven't eaten anything；〃 said Hannah； who had come into the room。 〃Where
are you going？〃
〃Outto Eda's；〃 Janet answered。。。。
〃It's late；〃 Hannah objected。 But Janet departed。 Instead of going to Eda's
she walked alone； seeking the quieter streets that her thoughts might flow
undisturbed。 At ten o'clock； when she returned； the light was out in the
diningroom； her sister had not come in； and she began slowly to undress；
pausing every now and then to sit on the bed and dream； once she surprised
herself gazing into the glass with a rapt expression that was almost a smile。
What was it about her that had attracted Ditmar？ No other man had ever noticed
it。 She had never thought herself good looking； and nowit was astonishing！
she seemed to have changed；and she saw with pride that her arms and neck were
shapely； that her dark hair fell down in a cascade over her white shoulders to
her waist。 She caressed it； it was fine。 When she looked again； a radiancy
seemed to envelop her。 She braided her hair slowly； in two long plaits；
looking shyly in the mirror and always seeing that radiancy。。。。
Suddenly it occurred to her with a shock that she was doing exactly what she
had despised Lise for doing； and leaving the mirror she hurried her toilet； put
out the light； and got into bed。 For a long time； however； she remained
wakeful； turning first on one side and then on the other； trying to banish from
her mind the episode that had excited her。 But always it came back again。 She
saw Ditmar before her； virile； vital； electric with desire。 At last she fell
asleep。
Gradually she was awakened by something penetrating her consciousness；
something insistent； pervasive； unescapable； which in drowsiness she could not
define。 The gas was burning； Lise had come in； and was moving peculiarly about
the room。 Janet watched her。 She stood in front of the bureau； just as Janet
herself had done； her hands at her throat。 At last she let them fall； her head
turning slowly； as though drawn； by some irresistible； hypnotic power； and
their eyes met。 Lise's were filmed； like those of a dog whose head is being
stroked； expressing a luxuriant dreaminess uncomprehending； passionate。
〃Say； did I wake you？〃 she asked。 〃I did my best not to make any noisehonest
to God。〃
〃It wasn't the noise that woke me up；〃 said Janet。
〃It couldn't have been。〃
〃You've been drinking！〃 said Janet； slowly。
Lise giggled。
〃What's it to you； angel face！〃 she inquired。 〃Quiet down； now； and go bye…
bye。〃
Janet sprang from the bed； seized her by the shoulders； and shook her。 She was
limp。 She began to whimper。
〃Cut it outleave me go。 It ain't nothing to you what I doI just had a
highball。〃
Janet released her and drew back。
〃I just had a highballhonest to God！〃
〃Don't say that again！〃 whispered Janet； fiercely。
〃Oh； very well。 For God's sake； go to bed and leave me aloneI can take care
of myself； I guessI ain't nutty enough to hit the booze。 But I ain't like
youI've got to have a little fun to keep alive。〃
〃A little fun！〃 Janet exclaimed。 The phrase struck her sharply。 A little fun
to keep alive！
With that same peculiar； cautious movement she had observed； Lise approached a
chair； and sank into it；jerking her head in the direction of the room where
Hannah and Edward slept。
〃D'you want to wake 'em up？ Is that your game？〃 she asked； and began to fumble
at her belt。 Overcoming with an effort a disgust amounting to nausea； Janet
approached her sister again； little by little undressing her； and finally
getting her into bed； when she immediately fell into a profound slumber。
Janet； too； got into bed； but sleep was impossible： the odour lurked like a
foul spirit in the darkness； mingling with the stagnant； damp air that came in
at the open window； fairly saturating her with horror： it seemed the very
essence of degradation。 But as she lay on the edge of the bed； shrinking from
contamination； in the throes of excitement inspired by an unnamed fear； she
grew hot； she could feel and almost hear the pounding of her heart。 She rose；
felt around in the clammy darkness for her wrapper and slippers； gained the
door； crept through the dark hall to the dining…room； where she stealthily lit
the lamp； darkness had become a terror。 A cockroach scurried across the
linoleum。 The room was warm and close； it reeked with the smell of stale food；
but at least she found relief from that other odour。 She sank down on the
sofa。
Her sister was drunk。 That in itself was terrible enough； yet it was not the
drunkenness alone that had sickened Janet； but the suggestion of something
else。 Where had Lise been？ In whose company had she