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the dwelling place of ligh-第33章

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〃Well; dreams never come up to expectations; do they?〃

〃Then it's dreaming I am; still;〃 retorted Mr。 Tiernan; quickly。

Janet laughed。  His tone; though bantering; was respectful。  One of the
secrets of Mr。 Tiernan's very human success was due to his ability to
estimate his fellow creatures。  His manner of treating Janet; for
instance; was quite different from that he employed in dealing with Lise。
In the course of one interview he had conveyed to Lise; without arousing
her antagonism; the conviction that it was wiser to trust him than to
attempt to pull wool over his eyes。  Janet had the intelligence to trust
him; and to…night; as she faced him; the fact was brought home to her
with peculiar force that this wiry…haired little man was the person above
all others of her immediate acquaintance to seek in time of trouble。  It
was his great quality。  Moreover; Mr。 Tiernan; even in his morning
greetings as she passed; always contrived to convey to her; in some
unaccountable fashion; the admiration and regard in which he held her;
and the effect of her contact with him was invariably to give her a
certain objective image of herself; an increased self…confidence and
self…respect。  For instance; by the light dancing in Mr。 Tiernan's eyes
as he regarded her; she saw herself now as the mainstay of the helpless
family in the clay…yellow flat across the street。  And there was nothing;
she was convinced; Mr。 Tiernan did not know about that family。  So she
said:

〃I've come to see about the stove。〃

〃Sure;〃 he replied; as much as to say that the visit was not unexpected。
〃Well; I've been thinking about it; Miss Janet。  I've got a stove here I
know'll suit your mother。  It's a Reading; it's almost new。  Ye'd better
be having a look at it yourself。〃

He led her into a chaos of stoves; grates; and pipes at the back of the
store。

〃It's in need of a little polish;〃 he added; as he turned on a light;
〃but it's sound; and a good baker; and economical with coal。〃  He opened
the oven and took off the lids。

〃I'm afraid I don't know much about stoves;〃 she told him。  〃But I'll
trust your judgment。  How much is it?〃 she inquired hesitatingly。

He ran his hand through his corkscrewed hair; his familiar gesture。

〃Well; I'm willing to let ye have it for twenty…five dollars。  If that's
too muchmebbe we can find another。〃

〃Can you put it in to…morrow morning?〃 she asked。

〃I can that;〃 he said。  She drew out her purse。  〃Ye needn't be paying
for it all at once;〃 he protested; laying a hand on her arm。  〃You won't
be running away。〃

〃Oh; I'd ratherI have the money;〃 she declared hurriedly; and she
turned her back that he might not perceive; when she had extracted the
bills; how little was left in her purse。

〃I'll wager ye won't be wanting another soon;〃 he said; as he escorted
her to the door。  And he held it open; politely; looking after her; until
she had crossed the street; calling out a cheerful 〃Goodnight〃 that had
in it something of a benediction。  She avoided the dining…room and went
straight to bed; in a strange medley of feelings。  The self…sacrifice had
brought a certain self…satisfaction not wholly unpleasant。  She had been
equal to the situation; and a part of her being approved of this;a part
which had been suppressed in another mood wherein she had become
convinced that self…realization lay elsewhere。  Life was indeed a
bewildering thing。。。。

The next morning; at breakfast; though her mother's complaints continued;
Janet was silent as to her purchase; and she lingered on her return home
in the evening because she now felt a reluctance to appear in the role of
protector and preserver of the family。  She would have preferred; if
possible; to give the stove anonymously。  Not that the expression of
Hannah's gratitude was maudlin; she glared at Janet when she entered the
dining…room and exclaimed: 〃You hadn't ought to have gone and done it!〃

And Janet retorted; with almost equal vehemence:

〃Somebody had to do itdidn't they?  Who else was there?〃

〃It's a shame for you to spend your money on such things。  You'd ought to
save it you'll need it;〃 Hannah continued illogically。

〃It's lucky I had the money;〃 said Janet。

Both Janet and Hannah knew that these recriminations; from the other;
were the explosive expressions of deep feeling。  Janet knew that her
mother was profoundly moved by her sacrifice。  She herself was moved by
Hannah's plight; but tenderness and pity were complicated by a renewed
sense of rebellion against an existence that exacted such a situation。

〃I hope the stove's all right; mother;〃 she said。  〃Mr。 Tiernan seemed to
think it was a good one。〃

〃It's a different thing;〃 declared Hannah。  〃I was just wondering this
evening; before you came in; how I ever made out to cook anything on the
other。  Come and see how nice it looks。〃

Janet followed her into the kitchen。  As they stood close together gazing
at the new purchase Janet was uncomfortably aware of drops that ran a
little way in the furrows of Hannah's cheeks; stopped; and ran on again。
She seized her apron and clapped it to her face。

〃You hadn't ought to be made to do it!〃 she sobbed。

And Janet was suddenly impelled to commit an act rare in their
intercourse。  She kissed her; swiftly; on the cheek; and fled from the
room。。。。

Supper was an ordeal。  Janet did not relish her enthronement as a
heroine; she deplored and even resented her mother's attitude toward her
father; which puzzled her; for the studied cruelty of it seemed to belie
her affection for him。  Every act and gesture and speech of Hannah's took
on the complexion of an invidious reference to her reliability as
compared with Edward's worthlessness as a provider; and she contrived in
some sort to make the meal a sacrament in commemoration of her elder
daughter's act。

〃I guess you notice the difference in that pork;〃 she would exclaim; and
when he praised it and attributed its excellence to Janet's gift Hannah
observed: 〃As long as you ain't got a son; you're lucky to have a
daughter like her!〃

Janet squirmed。  Her father's acceptance of his comparative worthlessness
was so abject that her pity was transferred to him; though she scorned
him; as on former occasions; for the self…depreciation that made him
powerless before her mother's reproaches。  After the meal was over he sat
listlessly on the sofa; like a visitor whose presence is endured;
pathetically refraining from that occupation in which his soul found
refreshment and peace; the compilation of the Bumpus genealogy。  That
evening the papers remained under the lid of the desk in the corner;
untouched。

What troubled Janet above all; however; was the attitude of Lise; who
also came in for her share of implied reproach。  Of late Lise had become
an increased source of anxiety to Hannah; who was unwisely resolved to
make this occasion an object lesson。  And though parental tenderness had
often moved her to excuse and defend Lise for an increasing remissness in
failing to contribute to the household expenses; she was now quite
relentless in her efforts to wring from Lise an acknowledgment of the
nobility of her sister's act; of qualities in Janet that she; Lise; might
do well to cultivate。  Lise was equally determined to withhold any such
acknowledgment; in her face grew that familiar mutinous look that Hannah
invariably failed to recognize as a danger signal; and with it another
the sophisticated expression of one who knows life and ridicules the lack
of such knowledge in others。  Its implication was made certain when the
two girls were alone in their bedroom after supper。  Lise; feverishly
occupied with her toilet; on her departure broke the silence there by
inquiring:

〃Say; if I had your easy money; I might buy a stove; too。  How much does
Ditmar give you; sweetheart?〃

Janet; infuriated; flew at her sister。  Lise struggled to escape。

〃Leave me go〃 she whimpered in genuine alarm; and when at length she was
released she went to the mirror and began straightening her hat; which
had flopped to one side of her head。  〃I didn't mean nothin'; I was only
kiddie' youwhat's the use of gettin' nutty over a jest?〃

〃I'm not like…you;〃 said Janet。

〃I was only kiddin'; I tell you;〃 insisted Lise; with a hat pin in her
mouth。  〃Forget it。〃

When Lise had gone out Janet sat down in the rocking…chair and began to
rock agitatedly。  What had really made her angry; she began to perceive;
was the realization of a certain amount of truth in her sister's
intimation concerning Ditmar。  Why should she have; in Lise; continually
before her eyes a degraded caricature of her own aspirations and ideals?
or was Lise a mirrorsomewhat tarnished; indeedin which she read the
truth about herself?  For some time Janet had more than suspected that
her sister possessed a new lovera lover whom she refrained from
discussing; an ominous sign; since it had been her habit to dangle her
conquests before Janet's eyes; to discuss their merits and demerits with
an engaging though cynical freedom。  Although the existence of this
gentleman was based on evidence purely circumstantial; Janet was inclined
to believe him of a type wholly 
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