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sorry！ I didn't want to bring any sadness hereit's all so bright and
beautiful！ And now I've made you sad！〃
It was a moment before Augusta Maturin could answer her。
〃What are friends for； Janet；〃 she asked； 〃if not to share sorrow with？
And do you suppose there's any place； however bright； where sorrow has
not come？ Do you think I've not known it； too？ And Janet； I haven't sat
here all these days with you without guessing that something worries you。
I've been waiting； all this time； for you to tell me； in order that I
might help you。〃
〃I wanted to；〃 said Janet； 〃every day I wanted to； but I couldn't。 I
couldn't bear to trouble you with it； I didn't mean ever to tell you。
And thenit's so terrible； I don't know what you'll think。〃
〃I think I know you； Janet；〃 answered Mrs。 Maturin。 〃Nothing human；
nothing natural is terrible； in the sense you mean。 At least I'm one of
those who believe so。〃
Presently Janet said； 〃I'm going to have a child。〃
Mrs。 Maturin sat very still。 Something closed in her throat； preventing
her immediate reply。
〃I； too； had a child； my dear；〃 she answered。 〃I lost her。〃 She felt
the girl's clasp tighten on her fingers。
〃But youyou had a right to ityou were married。〃 Children are sacred
things；〃 said Augusta Maturin。
〃Sacred！ Could it be that a woman like Mrs。 Maturity thought that this
child which was coming to her was sacred； too？
〃However they come？〃 asked Janet。 〃Oh； I tried to believe that； too！ At
firstat first I didn't want it； and when I knew it was coming I was
driven almost crazy。 And then； all at once； when I was walking in the
rain； I knew I wanted it to haveto keep all to myself。 You
understand？〃
Augusta Maturity inclined her head。
〃But the father？〃 she managed to ask； after a moment。 〃I don't wish to
pry； my dear； but does hedoes he realize？ Can't he help you？〃
〃It was Mr。 Ditmar。〃
〃Perhaps it will help you to tell me about it； Janet。〃
〃I'dI'd like to。 I've been so unhappy since you told me he was dead
and I felt like a cheat。 You see； he promised to marry me； and I know
now that he loved me； that he really wanted to marry me； but something
happened to make me believe he wasn't going to； I sawanother girl who'd
got into trouble； and then I thought he'd only been playing with me； and
I couldn't stand it。 I joined the strikersI just had to do something。〃
Augusta Maturity nodded； and waited。
〃I was only a stenographer； and we were very poor； and he was rich and
lived in a big house； the most important man in Hampton。 It seemed too
good to be trueI suppose I never really thought it could happen。
Please don't think I'm putting all the blame on him； Mrs。 Maturityit
was my fault just as much as his。 I ought to have gone away from
Hampton； but I didn't have the strength。 And I shouldn't have〃 Janet
stopped。
〃Butyou loved him？〃
〃Yes； I did。 For a long time； after I left him； I thought I didn't； I
thought I hated him； and when I found out what had happened to methat
night I came to youI got my father's pistol and went to the mill to
shoot him。 I was going to shoot myself； too。〃
〃Oh！〃 Mrs。 Maturity gasped。 She gave a quick glance of sheer amazement
at Janet； who did not seem to notice it； who was speaking objectively；
apparently with no sense of the drama in her announcement。
〃But I couldn't；〃 she went on。 〃At the time I didn't know why I
couldn't； but when I went out I understood it was because I wanted the
child； because it was his child。 And though he was almost out of his
head； he seemed so glad because I'd come back to him； and said he'd marry
me right away。〃
〃And you refused！〃 exclaimed Mrs。 Maturity。
〃Well； you see； I was out of my head； too； I still thought I hated him
but I'd loved him all the time。 It was funny！ He had lots of faults；
and he didn't seem to understand or care much about how poor people feel；
though he was kind to them in the mills。 He might have come to
understandI don't knowit wasn't because he didn't want to； but
because he was so separated from them； I guess； and he was so interested
in what he was doing。 He had ambition； he thought everything of that
mill； he'd made it。 I don't know why I loved him； it wasn't because he
was fine； like Mr。 Insall； but he was strong and brave； and he needed me
and just took me。〃
〃One never knows！〃 Augusta Maturity murmured。
〃I went back that night to tell him I'd marry himand he'd gone。 Then I
came to you； to the soup kitchen。 I didn't mean to bother you； I've
never quite understood how I got there。 I don't care so much what
happens to me； now that I've told you；〃 Janet added。 〃It was mean； not
to tell you； but I'd never had anything like thiswhat you were giving
meand I wanted all I could get。〃
〃I'm thankful you did come to us！〃 Augusta Maturin managed to reply。
〃You mean？〃 Janet exclaimed。
〃I mean； that we who have been morefortunate don't look at these things
quite as we used to； that the world is less censorious； is growing to
understand situations it formerly condemned。 AndI don't know what kind
of a monster you supposed me to be； Janet。〃
〃Oh； Mrs。 Maturin！〃
〃I mean that I'm a woman； too； my dear； although my life has been
sheltered。 Otherwise； what has happened to you might have happened to
me。 And besides； I am what is called unconventional； I have little
theories of my own about life； and now that you have told me everything I
understand you and love you even more than I did before。〃
Save that her breath came fast； Janet lay still against the cushions of
the armchair。 She was striving to grasp the momentous and unlooked…for
fact of her friend's unchanged attitude。 Then she asked：
〃Mrs。 Maturin； do you believe in God？〃
Augusta Maturin was startled by the question。 〃I like to think of Him as
light； Janet； and that we are plants seeking to grow toward Himno
matter from what dark crevice we may spring。 Even in our mistakes and
sins we are seeking Him； for these are ignorances； and as the world
learns more； we shall know Him better and better。 It is natural to long
for happiness； and happiness is self…realization； and self…realization is
knowledge and light。〃
〃That is beautiful；〃 said Janet at length。
〃It is all we can know about God；〃 said Mrs。 Maturin； 〃but it is enough。〃
She had been thinking rapidly。 〃And now；〃 she went on； 〃we shall have to
consider what is to be done。 I don't pretend that the future will be
easy； but it will not be nearly as hard for you as it might have been；
since I am your friend； and I do not intend to desert you。 I'm sure you
will not let it crush you。 In the first place； you will have something
to go on withmental resources； I mean； for which you have a natural
craving； books and art and nature； the best thoughts and the best
interpretations。 We can give you these。 And you will have your child；
and work to do； for I'm sure you're industrious。 And of course I'll keep
your secret； my dear。〃
〃Buthow？〃 Janet exclaimed。
〃I've arranged it all。 You'll stay here this spring； you'll come to my
house on Monday； just as we planned； and later on you may go to Mrs。
Case's； if it will make you feel more independent； and do typewriting
until the spring term is over。 I've told you about my little camp away
up in Canada； in the heart of the wilderness； where I go in summer。
We'll stay there until the autumn； until your baby comes； and； after
that； I know it won't be difficult to get you a position in the west；
where you can gain your living and have your child。 I have a good friend
in California who I'm sure will help you。 And even if your secret should
eventually be discoveredwhich is not probableyou will have earned
respect； and society is not as stern as it used to be。 And you will
always have me for a friend。 There； that's the bright side of it。 Of
course it isn't a bed of roses； but I've lived long enough to observe
that the people who lie on roses don't always have the happiest lives。
Whenever you want help and advice； I shall always be here； and from time
to time I'll be seeing you。 Isn't that sensible？〃
〃Oh； Mrs。 Maturinif you really want mestill？〃
〃I do want you； Janet； even more than I didbefore； because you need me
more；〃 Mrs。 Maturin replied； with a sincerity that could not fail to
bring conviction。。。。
CHAPTER XXI
As the spring progressed； Janet grew stronger； became well again； and
through the kindness of Dr。 Ledyard； the principal； was presently
installed with a typewriter in a little room in an old building belonging
to the Academy in what was called Bramble Street； and not far from the
Common。 Here； during the day； she industriously copied manuscripts' or；
from her notebook； letters dictated by various members of the faculty。
And she was pleased when they exclaimed delightedly at the flawless
copies and failed to suspect her of frequent pilgrimages to the
dictionary in the library in order to familiarize herself with the
meaning and manner of spelling various academic words。 At first it was
almost bewildering to find herself in some degree thus sharing the
Silliston community life； and an unpremeditated attitude toward these
learne