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Reginald was glad to get away; and I went to Lady Susan; curious;
indeed; to hear her account of it。 〃Did I not tell you;〃 said she with a
smile; 〃that your brother would not leave us after all?〃 〃You did; indeed;〃
replied I very gravely; 〃but I flattered myself you would be mistaken。〃 〃I
should not have hazarded such an opinion;〃 returned she; 〃if it had not at
that moment occurred to me that his resolution of going might be
occasioned by a conversation in which we had been this morning engaged; and
which had ended very much to his dissatisfaction; from our not rightly
understanding each other's meaning。 This idea struck me at the moment; and
I instantly determined that an accidental dispute; in which I might
probably be as much to blame as himself; should not deprive you of your
brother。 If you remember; I left the room almost immediately。 I was
resolved to lose no time in clearing up those mistakes as far as I could。
The case was thisFrederica had set herself violently against marrying Sir
James。〃 〃And can your ladyship wonder that she should?〃 cried I with some
warmth; 〃Frederica has an excellent understanding; and Sir James has none。〃
〃I am at least very far from regretting it; my dear sister;〃 said she; 〃on
the contrary; I am grateful for so favourable a sign of my daughter's
sense。 Sir James is certainly below par (his boyish manners make him appear
worse); and had Frederica possessed the penetration and the abilities which
I could have wished in my daughter; or had I even known her to possess as
much as she does; I should not have been anxious for the match。〃 〃It is odd
that you should alone be ignorant of your daughter's sense!〃 〃Frederica
never does justice to herself; her manners are shy and childish; and
besides she is afraid of me。 During her poor father's life she was a spoilt
child; the severity which it has since been necessary for me to show has
alienated her affection; neither has she any of that brilliancy of
intellect; that genius or vigour of mind which will force itself forward。〃
〃Say rather that she has been unfortunate in her education!〃 〃Heaven knows;
my dearest Mrs。 Vernon; how fully I am aware of that; but I would wish to
forget every circumstance that might throw blame on the memory of one whose
name is sacred with me。〃 Here she pretended to cry; I was out of patience
with her。 〃But what;〃 said I; 〃was your ladyship going to tell me about
your disagreement with my brother?〃 〃It originated in an action of my
daughter's; which equally marks her want of judgment and the unfortunate
dread of me I have been mentioningshe wrote to Mr。 De Courcy。〃 〃I know
she did; you had forbidden her speaking to Mr。 Vernon or to me on the cause
of her distress; what could she do; therefore; but apply to my brother?〃
〃Good God!〃 she exclaimed; 〃what an opinion you must have of me! Can you
possibly suppose that I was aware of her unhappiness! that it was my object
to make my own child miserable; and that I had forbidden her speaking to
you on the subject from a fear of your interrupting the diabolical scheme?
Do you think me destitute of every honest; every natural feeling? Am I
capable of consigning HER to everlasting: misery whose welfare it is my
first earthly duty to promote? The idea is horrible!〃 〃What; then; was your
intention when you insisted on her silence?〃 〃Of what use; my dear sister;
could be any application to you; however the affair might stand? Why should
I subject you to entreaties which I refused to attend to myself? Neither
for your sake nor for hers; nor for my own; could such a thing be
desirable。 When my own resolution was taken I could nor wish for the
interference; however friendly; of another person。 I was mistaken; it is
true; but I believed myself right。〃 〃But what was this mistake to which
your ladyship so often alludes! from whence arose so astonishing a
misconception of your daughter's feelings! Did you not know that she
disliked Sir James?〃 〃I knew that he was not absolutely the man she would
have chosen; but I was persuaded that her objections to him did not arise
from any perception of his deficiency。 You must not question me; however;
my dear sister; too minutely on this point;〃 continued she; taking me
affectionately by the hand; 〃I honestly own that there is something to
conceal。 Frederica makes me very unhappy! Her applying to Mr。 De Courcy
hurt me particularly。〃 〃What is it you mean to infer;〃 said I; 〃 by this
appearance of mystery? If you think your daughter at all attached to
Reginald; her objecting to Sir James could not less deserve to be attended
to than if the cause of her objecting had been a consciousness of his folly
; and why should your ladyship; at any rate; quarrel with my brother for an
interference which; you must know; it is not in his nature to refuse when
urged in such a manner?〃
〃His disposition; you know; is warm; and he came to expostulate with me;
his compassion all alive for this ill…used girl; this heroine in distress!
We misunderstood each other: he believed me more to blame than I really
was; I considered his interference less excusable than I now find it。 I
have a real regard for him; and was beyond expression mortified to find
it; as I thought; so ill bestowed We were both warm; and of course both to
blame。 His resolution of leaving Churchhill is consistent with his general
eagerness。 When I understood his intention; however; and at the same time
began to think that we had been perhaps equally mistaken in each other's
meaning; I resolved to have an explanation before it was too late。 For any
member of your family I must always feel a degree of affection; and I own
it would have sensibly hurt me if my acquaintance with Mr。 De Courcy had
ended so gloomily。 I have now only to say further; that as I am convinced
of Frederica's having a reasonable dislike to Sir James; I shall instantly
inform him that he must give up all hope of her。 I reproach myself for
having even; though innocently; made her unhappy on that score。 She shall
have all the retribution in my power to make; if she value her own
happiness as much as I do; if she judge wisely; and command herself as she
ought; she may now be easy。 Excuse me; my dearest sister; for thus
trespassing on your time; but I owe it to my own character; and after this
explanation I trust I am in no danger of sinking in your opinion。〃 I could
have said; 〃Not much; indeed!〃 but I left her almost in silence。 It was
the greatest stretch of forbearance I could practise。 I could not have
stopped myself had I begun。 Her assurance! her deceit! but I will not allow
myself to dwell on them; they will strike you sufficiently。 My heart
sickens within me。 As soon as I was tolerably composed I returned to the
parlour。 Sir James's carriage was at the door; and he; merry as usual; soon
afterwards took his leave。 How easily does her ladyship encourage or
dismiss a lover! In spite of this release; Frederica still looks unhappy:
still fearful; perhaps; of her mother's anger; and though dreading my
brother's departure; jealous; it may be; of his staying。 I see how closely
she observes him and Lady Susan; poor girl! I have now no hope for her。
There is not a chance of her affection being returned。 He thinks very
differently of her from what he used to do; he does her some justice; but
his reconciliation with her mother precludes every dearer hope。 Prepare; my
dear mother; for the worst! The probability of their marrying is surely
heightened! He is more securely hers than ever。 When that wretched event
takes place; Frederica must belong wholly to us。 I am thankful that my last
letter will precede this by so little; as every moment that you can be
saved from feeling a joy which leads only to disappointment is of
consequence。
Yours ever; &c。;
CATHERINE VERNON。
XXV
LADY SUSAN TO MRS。 JOHNSON
Churchhill。
I call on you; dear Alicia; for congratulations: I am my own self; gay
and triumphant! When I wrote to you the other day I was; in truth; in high
irritation; and with ample cause。 Nay; I know not whether I ought to be
quite tranquil now; for I have had more trouble in restoring peace than I
ever intended to submit toa spirit; too; resulting from a fancied sense
of superior integrity; which is peculiarly insolent! I shall not easily
forgive him; I assure you。 He was actually on the point of leaving
Churchhil