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lady susan-第12章

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forgive him; I assure you。 He was actually on the point of leaving



Churchhill! I had scarcely concluded my last; when Wilson brought me word



of it。 I found; therefore; that something must be done; for I did not



choose to leave my character at the mercy of a man whose passions are so



violent and so revengeful。 It would have been trifling with my reputation



to allow of his departing with such an impression in my disfavour; in this



light; condescension was necessary。 I sent Wilson to say that I desired to



speak with him before he went; he came immediately。 The angry emotions



which had marked every feature when we last parted were partially subdued。



He seemed astonished at the summons; and looked as if half wishing and half



fearing to be softened by what I might say。 If my countenance expressed



what I aimed at; it was composed and dignified; and yet; with a degree of



pensiveness which might convince him that I was not quite happy。 〃I beg



your pardon; sir; for the liberty I have taken in sending for you;〃 said I;



〃but as I have just learnt your intention of leaving this place to…day; I



feel it my duty to entreat that you will not on my account shorten your



visit here even an hour。 I am perfectly aware that after what has passed



between us it would ill suit the feelings of either to remain longer in the



same house: so very great; so total a change from the intimacy of



friendship must render any future intercourse the severest punishment; and



your resolution of quitting Churchhill is undoubtedly in unison with our



situation; and with those lively feelings which I know you to possess。 But;



at the same time; it is not for me to suffer such a sacrifice as it must be



to leave relations to whom you are so much attached; and are so dear。 My



remaining here cannot give that pleasure to Mr。 and Mrs。 Vernon which your



society must; and my visit has already perhaps been too long。 My removal;



therefore; which must; at any rate; take place soon; may; with perfect



convenience; be hastened; and I make it my particular request that I may



not in any way be instrumental in separating a family so affectionately



attached to each other。 Where I go is of no consequence to anyone; of very



little to myself; but you are of importance to all your connections。〃 Here



I concluded; and I hope you will be satisfied with my speech。 Its effect on



Reginald justifies some portion of vanity; for it was no less favourable



than instantaneous。 Oh; how delightful it was to watch the variations of



his countenance while I spoke! to see the struggle between returning



tenderness and the remains of displeasure。 There is something agreeable in



feelings so easily worked on; not that I envy him their possession; nor



would; for the world; have such myself; but they are very convenient when



one wishes to influence the passions of another。 And yet this Reginald;



whom a very few words from me softened at once into the utmost submission;



and rendered more tractable; more attached; more devoted than ever; would



have left me in the first angry swelling of his proud heart without



deigning to seek an explanation。 Humbled as he now is; I cannot forgive him



such an instance of pride; and am doubtful whether I ought not to punish



him by dismissing him at once after this reconciliation; or by marrying and



teazing him for ever。 But these measures are each too violent to be adopted



without some deliberation; at present my thoughts are fluctuating between



various schemes。 I have many things to compass: I must punish Frederica;



and pretty severely too; for her application  to Reginald; I must punish



him for receiving it so favourably; and for the rest of his conduct。 I must



torment my sister…in…law for the insolent triumph of her look and manner



since Sir James has been dismissed; for; in reconciling  Reginald to me; I



was not able to save that ill…fated young man; and I must make myself



amends for the humiliation to which I have stooped within these few days。



To effect all this I have various plans。 I have also an idea of being soon



in town; and whatever may be my determination as to the rest; I shall



probably put THAT project in execution; for London will be always the



fairest field of action; however my views may be directed; and at any rate



I shall there be rewarded by your society; and a little dissipation; for a



ten weeks' penance at Churchhill。 I believe I owe it to my character to



complete the match between my daughter and Sir James after having so long



intended it。 Let me know your opinion on this point。 Flexibility of mind; a



disposition easily biassed by others; is an attribute which you know I am



not very desirous of obtaining; nor has Frederica any claim to the



indulgence of her notions at the expense of her mother's inclinations。 Her



idle love for Reginald; too! It is surely my duty to discourage such



romantic nonsense。 All things considered; therefore; it seems incumbent on



me to take her to town and marry her immediately to Sir James。 When my own



will is effected contrary to his; I shall have some credit in being on good



terms with Reginald; which at present; in fact; I have not; for though he



is still in my power; I have given up the very article by which our quarrel



was produced; and at best the honour of victory is doubtful。 Send me your



opinion on all these matters; my dear Alicia; and let me know whether you



can get lodgings to suit me within a short distance of you。







Your most attached







S。 VERNON。























XXVI











MRS。 JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN











Edward Street。











I am gratified by your reference; and this is my advice: that you come



to town yourself; without loss of time; but that you leave Frederica



behind。 It would surely be much more to the purpose to get yourself well



established by marrying Mr。 De Courcy; than to irritate him and the rest of



his family by making her marry Sir James。 You should think more of yourself



and less of your daughter。 She is not of a disposition to do you credit in



the world; and seems precisely in her proper place at Churchhill; with the



Vernons。 But you are fitted for society; and it is shameful to have you



exiled from it。 Leave Frederica; therefore; to punish herself for the



plague she has given you; by indulging that romantic tender…heartedness



which will always ensure her misery enough; and come to London as soon as



you can。 I have another reason for urging this: Mainwaring came to town



last week; and has contrived; in spite of Mr。 Johnson; to make



opportunities of seeing me。 He is absolutely miserable about you; and



jealous to such a degree of De Courcy that it would be highly unadvisable



for them to meet at present。 And yet; if you do not allow him to see you



here; I cannot answer for his not committing some great imprudencesuch as



going to Churchhill; for instance; which would be dreadful! Besides; if you



take my advice; and resolve to marry De Courcy; it will be indispensably



necessary to you to get Mainwaring out of the way; and you only can have



influence enough to send him back to his wife。 I have still another motive



for your coming: Mr。 Johnson leaves London next Tuesday; he is going for



his health to Bath; where; if the waters are favourable to his constitution



and my wishes; he will be laid up with the gout many weeks。 During his



absence we shall be able to chuse our own society; and to have true



enjoyment。 I would ask you to Edward Street; but that once he forced from



me a kind of promise never to invite you to my house; nothing but my being



in the utmost distress for money should have extorted it from me。 I can get



you; however; a nice drawing…room apartment in Upper Seymour Street; and we



may be always together there or here; for I consider my promise to Mr。



Johnson as comprehending only (at least in his absence) your not sleeping



in the house。 Poor Mainwaring gives me such histories of his wife's



jealousy。 Silly woman to expect constancy from so charming a man! but she



always was sillyintolerably so in marrying him at all; she the heiress of



a large fortune and he without a shilling: one title; I know; she might



have had; besides baronets。 Her folly in forming the connection was so



great that; though Mr。 Johnson was her guardian; and I do not in general



share HIS feelings; I never can forgive her。







Adieu。 Yours ever;







ALICIA。























XXVII











MRS。 VERNON TO LADY DE COURC
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