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good pension。 But I； to my misfortune； always served place…hunters and
adventurers； whose keep and wages were so miserable and scanty that
half went in paying for the starching of one's collars； it would be
a miracle indeed if a page volunteer ever got anything like a
reasonable bounty。〃
〃And tell me； for heaven's sake；〃 asked Don Quixote； 〃is it
possible； my friend； that all the time you served you never got any
livery？〃
〃They gave me two；〃 replied the page； 〃but just as when one quits
a religious community before making profession； they strip him of
the dress of the order and give him back his own clothes； so did my
masters return me mine； for as soon as the business on which they came
to court was finished； they went home and took back the liveries
they had given merely for show。〃
〃What spilorceria！… as an Italian would say；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃but
for all that； consider yourself happy in having left court with as
worthy an object as you have； for there is nothing on earth more
honourable or profitable than serving； first of all God； and then
one's king and natural lord； particularly in the profession of arms；
by which； if not more wealth； at least more honour is to be won than
by letters； as I have said many a time； for though letters may have
founded more great houses than arms； still those founded by arms
have I know not what superiority over those founded by letters； and
a certain splendour belonging to them that distinguishes them above
all。 And bear in mind what I am now about to say to you； for it will
be of great use and comfort to you in time of trouble； it is； not to
let your mind dwell on the adverse chances that may befall you； for
the worst of all is death； and if it be a good death； the best of
all is to die。 They asked Julius Caesar； the valiant Roman emperor；
what was the best death。 He answered； that which is unexpected；
which comes suddenly and unforeseen； and though he answered like a
pagan； and one without the knowledge of the true God； yet； as far as
sparing our feelings is concerned； he was right； for suppose you are
killed in the first engagement or skirmish； whether by a cannon ball
or blown up by mine； what matters it？ It is only dying； and all is
over； and according to Terence； a soldier shows better dead in battle；
than alive and safe in flight； and the good soldier wins fame in
proportion as he is obedient to his captains and those in command over
him。 And remember； my son； that it is better for the soldier to
smell of gunpowder than of civet； and that if old age should come upon
you in this honourable calling； though you may be covered with
wounds and crippled and lame； it will not come upon you without
honour； and that such as poverty cannot lessen； especially now that
provisions are being made for supporting and relieving old and
disabled soldiers； for it is not right to deal with them after the
fashion of those who set free and get rid of their black slaves when
they are old and useless； and； turning them out of their houses
under the pretence of making them free； make them slaves to hunger；
from which they cannot expect to be released except by death。 But
for the present I won't say more than get ye up behind me on my
horse as far as the inn； and sup with me there； and to…morrow you
shall pursue your journey； and God give you as good speed as your
intentions deserve。〃
The page did not accept the invitation to mount； though he did
that to supper at the inn； and here they say Sancho said to himself；
〃God be with you for a master； is it possible that a man who can say
things so many and so good as he has said just now； can say that he
saw the impossible absurdities he reports about the cave of
Montesinos？ Well； well； we shall see。〃
And now； just as night was falling； they reached the inn； and it was
not without satisfaction that Sancho perceived his master took it
for a real inn； and not for a castle as usual。 The instant they
entered Don Quixote asked the landlord after the man with the lances
and halberds； and was told that he was in the stable seeing to his
mule； which was what Sancho and the cousin proceeded to do for their
beasts； giving the best manger and the best place in the stable to
Rocinante。
CHAPTER XXV
WHEREIN IS SET DOWN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE； AND THE DROLL ONE OF
THE PUPPET…SHOWMAN； TOGETHER WITH THE MEMORABLE DIVINATIONS OF THE
DIVINING APE
DON QUIXOTE'S bread would not bake； as the common saying is； until
he had heard and learned the curious things promised by the man who
carried the arms。 He went to seek him where the innkeeper said be
was and having found him； bade him say now at any rate what he had
to say in answer to the question he had asked him on the road。 〃The
tale of my wonders must be taken more leisurely and not standing；〃
said the man； 〃let me finish foddering my beast； good sir； and then
I'll tell you things that will astonish you。〃
〃Don't wait for that；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃I'll help you in
everything；〃 and so he did； sifting the barley for him and cleaning
out the manger； a degree of humility which made the other feel bound
to tell him with a good grace what he had asked； so seating himself on
a bench； with Don Quixote beside him； and the cousin； the page； Sancho
Panza； and the landlord； for a senate and an audience； he began his
story in this way：
〃You must know that in a village four leagues and a half from this
inn； it so happened that one of the regidors； by the tricks and
roguery of a servant girl of his （it's too long a tale to tell）；
lost an ass； and though he did all he possibly could to find it； it
was all to no purpose。 A fortnight might have gone by； so the story
goes； since the ass had been missing； when； as the regidor who had
lost it was standing in the plaza； another regidor of the same town
said to him； 'Pay me for good news； gossip； your ass has turned up。'
'That I will； and well； gossip；' said the other； 'but tell us； where
has he turned up？' 'In the forest；' said the finder； 'I saw him this
morning without pack…saddle or harness of any sort； and so lean that
it went to one's heart to see him。 I tried to drive him before me
and bring him to you； but he is already so wild and shy that when I
went near him he made off into the thickest part of the forest。 If you
have a mind that we two should go back and look for him； let me put up
this she…ass at my house and I'll be back at once。' 'You will be doing
me a great kindness；' said the owner of the ass； 'and I'll try to
pay it back in the same coin。' It is with all these circumstances； and
in the very same way I am telling it now； that those who know all
about the matter tell the story。 Well then； the two regidors set off
on foot； arm in arm； for the forest； and coming to the place where
they hoped to find the ass they could not find him； nor was he to be
seen anywhere about； search as they might。 Seeing； then； that there
was no sign of him； the regidor who had seen him said to the other；
'Look here； gossip； a plan has occurred to me； by which； beyond a
doubt； we shall manage to discover the animal； even if he is stowed
away in the bowels of the earth； not to say the forest。 Here it is。
I can bray to perfection； and if you can ever so little； the thing's
as good as done。' 'Ever so little did you say； gossip？' said the
other； 'by God； I'll not give in to anybody； not even to the asses
themselves。' 'We'll soon see；' said the second regidor； 'for my plan
is that you should go one side of the forest； and I the other； so as
to go all round about it； and every now and then you will bray and I
will bray； and it cannot be but that the ass will hear us； and
answer us if he is in the forest。' To which the owner of the ass
replied； 'It's an excellent plan； I declare； gossip； and worthy of
your great genius；' and the two separating as agreed； it so fell out
that they brayed almost at the same moment； and each； deceived by
the braying of the other； ran to look； fancying the ass had turned
up at last。 When they came in sight of one another； said the loser；
'Is it possible； gossip； that it was not my ass that brayed？' 'No；
it was I；' said the other。 'Well then； I can tell you； gossip；' said
the ass's owner； 'that between you and an ass there is not an atom
of difference as far as braying goes； for I never in all my life saw
or heard anything more natural。' 'Those praises and compliments belong
to you more justly than to me； gossip；' said the inventor of the plan；
'for； by the God that made me； you might give a couple of brays odds
to the best and most finished brayer in the world； the tone you have
got is deep； your voice is well kept up as to time and pitch； and your
finishing notes come thick and fast； in fact； I own myself beaten； and
yield the palm to you； and give in to you in this rare
accomplishment。' 'Well then；' said the owner； 'I'll set a higher value
on myself for the future； and consider that I know something； as I
have an excellence of some sort； for though I always thought I
brayed well； I never supposed I came up to the pitch of perfection you
say。' 'And I say too；' said the second； 'that there are rare gifts
going to loss in the world； and that the