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with the seneschal； to lead him to dinner； as his hosts were already
waiting for him。 They placed him in the midst of them； and with much
pomp and stateliness they conducted him into another room； where there
was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers。 The duchess and the
duke came out to the door of the room to receive him； and with them
a grave ecclesiastic； one of those who rule noblemen's houses； one
of those who； not being born magnates themselves； never know how to
teach those who are how to behave as such； one of those who would have
the greatness of great folk measured by their own narrowness of
mind； one of those who； when they try to introduce economy into the
household they rule； lead it into meanness。 One of this sort； I say；
must have been the grave churchman who came out with the duke and
duchess to receive Don Quixote。
A vast number of polite speeches were exchanged； and at length；
taking Don Quixote between them； they proceeded to sit down to
table。 The duke pressed Don Quixote to take the head of the table；
and； though he refused； the entreaties of the duke were so urgent that
he had to accept it。
The ecclesiastic took his seat opposite to him； and the duke and
duchess those at the sides。 All this time Sancho stood by； gaping with
amazement at the honour he saw shown to his master by these
illustrious persons； and observing all the ceremonious pressing that
had passed between the duke and Don Quixote to induce him to take
his seat at the head of the table； he said； 〃If your worship will give
me leave I will tell you a story of what happened in my village
about this matter of seats。〃
The moment Sancho said this Don Quixote trembled； making sure that
he was about to say something foolish。 Sancho glanced at him； and
guessing his thoughts； said； 〃Don't be afraid of my going astray；
senor； or saying anything that won't be pat to the purpose； I
haven't forgotten the advice your worship gave me just now about
talking much or little； well or ill。〃
〃I have no recollection of anything； Sancho；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃say
what thou wilt； only say it quickly。〃
〃Well then；〃 said Sancho； 〃what I am going to say is so true that my
master Don Quixote； who is here present； will keep me from lying。〃
〃Lie as much as thou wilt for all I care； Sancho；〃 said Don Quixote；
〃for I am not going to stop thee； but consider what thou art going
to say。〃
〃I have so considered and reconsidered；〃 said Sancho； 〃that the
bell…ringer's in a safe berth； as will be seen by what follows。〃
〃It would be well；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃if your highnesses would
order them to turn out this idiot； for he will talk a heap of
nonsense。〃
〃By the life of the duke； Sancho shall not be taken away from me for
a moment；〃 said the duchess； 〃I am very fond of him； for I know he
is very discreet。〃
〃Discreet be the days of your holiness；〃 said Sancho； 〃for the
good opinion you have of my wit； though there's none in me； but the
story I want to tell is this。 There was an invitation given by a
gentleman of my town； a very rich one； and one of quality； for he
was one of the Alamos of Medina del Campo； and married to Dona
Mencia de Quinones； the daughter of Don Alonso de Maranon； Knight of
the Order of Santiago； that was drowned at the Herradura… him there
was that quarrel about years ago in our village； that my master Don
Quixote was mixed up in； to the best of my belief； that Tomasillo
the scapegrace； the son of Balbastro the smith； was wounded in。… Isn't
all this true； master mine？ As you live； say so； that these gentlefolk
may not take me for some lying chatterer。〃
〃So far；〃 said the ecclesiastic； 〃I take you to be more a
chatterer than a liar； but I don't know what I shall take you for
by…and…by。〃
〃Thou citest so many witnesses and proofs； Sancho；〃 said Don
Quixote； 〃that I have no choice but to say thou must be telling the
truth； go on； and cut the story short； for thou art taking the way not
to make an end for two days to come。〃
〃He is not to cut it short；〃 said the duchess； 〃on the contrary； for
my gratification； he is to tell it as he knows it； though he should
not finish it these six days； and if he took so many they would be
to me the pleasantest I ever spent。〃
〃Well then； sirs； I say；〃 continued Sancho； 〃that this same
gentleman； whom I know as well as I do my own hands； for it's not a
bowshot from my house to his； invited a poor but respectable
labourer…〃
〃Get on； brother；〃 said the churchman； 〃at the rate you are going
you will not stop with your story short of the next world。〃
〃I'll stop less than half…way； please God；〃 said Sancho； 〃and so I
say this labourer； coming to the house of the gentleman I spoke of
that invited him… rest his soul； he is now dead； and more by token
he died the death of an angel； so they say； for I was not there； for
just at that time I had gone to reap at Tembleque…〃
〃As you live； my son；〃 said the churchman； 〃make haste back from
Tembleque； and finish your story without burying the gentleman； unless
you want to make more funerals。〃
〃Well then； it so happened；〃 said Sancho； 〃that as the pair of
them were going to sit down to table …and I think I can see them now
plainer than ever…〃
Great was the enjoyment the duke and duchess derived from the
irritation the worthy churchman showed at the long…winded； halting way
Sancho had of telling his story； while Don Quixote was chafing with
rage and vexation。
〃So； as I was saying；〃 continued Sancho； 〃as the pair of them were
going to sit down to table； as I said； the labourer insisted upon
the gentleman's taking the head of the table； and the gentleman
insisted upon the labourer's taking it； as his orders should be obeyed
in his house； but the labourer； who plumed himself on his politeness
and good breeding； would not on any account； until the gentleman；
out of patience； putting his hands on his shoulders； compelled him
by force to sit down； saying； 'Sit down； you stupid lout； for wherever
I sit will he the head to you； and that's the story； and； troth； I
think it hasn't been brought in amiss here。〃
Don Quixote turned all colours； which； on his sunburnt face； mottled
it till it looked like jasper。 The duke and duchess suppressed their
laughter so as not altogether to mortify Don Quixote； for they saw
through Sancho's impertinence； and to change the conversation； and
keep Sancho from uttering more absurdities； the duchess asked Don
Quixote what news he had of the lady Dulcinea； and if he had sent
her any presents of giants or miscreants lately； for he could not
but have vanquished a good many。
To which Don Quixote replied； 〃Senora； my misfortunes； though they
had a beginning； will never have an end。 I have vanquished giants
and I have sent her caitiffs and miscreants； but where are they to
find her if she is enchanted and turned into the most ill…favoured
peasant wench that can be imagined？〃
〃I don't know；〃 said Sancho Panza； 〃to me she seems the fairest
creature in the world； at any rate； in nimbleness and jumping she
won't give in to a tumbler； by my faith； senora duchess； she leaps
from the ground on to the back of an ass like a cat。〃
〃Have you seen her enchanted； Sancho？〃 asked the duke。
〃What； seen her！〃 said Sancho； 〃why； who the devil was it but myself
that first thought of the enchantment business？ She is as much
enchanted as my father。〃
The ecclesiastic； when he heard them talking of giants and
caitiffs and enchantments； began to suspect that this must be Don
Quixote of La Mancha； whose story the duke was always reading； and
he had himself often reproved him for it； telling him it was foolish
to read such fooleries； and becoming convinced that his suspicion
was correct； addressing the duke； he said very angrily to him； 〃Senor；
your excellence will have to give account to God for what this good
man does。 This Don Quixote； or Don Simpleton； or whatever his name is；
cannot； I imagine； be such a blockhead as your excellence would have
him； holding out encouragement to him to go on with his vagaries and
follies。〃 Then turning to address Don Quixote he said； 〃And you；
num…skull； who put it into your head that you are a knight…errant； and
vanquish giants and capture miscreants？ Go your ways in a good hour；
and in a good hour be it said to you。 Go home and bring up your
children if you have any； and attend to your business； and give over
going wandering about the world； gaping and making a laughing…stock of
yourself to all who know you and all who don't。 Where； in heaven's
name； have you discovered that there are or ever were
knights…errant？ Where are there giants in Spain or miscreants in La
Mancha； or enchanted Dulcineas； or all the rest of the silly things
they tell about you？〃
Don Quixote listened attentively to the reverend gentleman's
words； and as soon as he perceived he had done speaking； regardless of
the presence of the duke and duchess； he sprang to his feet with angry
looks and an agitated countenance； and said …But the reply deserves
a chapter to itself。
CHAPTER XXXII
OF THE REPLY DON QUIXOTE GAVE HIS CENSURER； WITH OTHER INCIDENTS；
GRAVE AND DROLL
DON QUIXOTE； then； having risen to hi