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don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第169章

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GRAVE AND DROLL

  DON QUIXOTE; then; having risen to his feet; trembling from head
to foot like a man dosed with mercury; said in a hurried; agitated
voice; 〃The place I am in; the presence in which I stand; and the
respect I have and always have had for the profession to which your
worship belongs; hold and bind the hands of my just indignation; and
as well for these reasons as because I know; as everyone knows; that a
gownsman's weapon is the same as a woman's; the tongue; I will with
mine engage in equal combat with your worship; from whom one might
have expected good advice instead of foul abuse。 Pious; well…meant
reproof requires a different demeanour and arguments of another
sort; at any rate; to have reproved me in public; and so roughly;
exceeds the bounds of proper reproof; for that comes better with
gentleness than with rudeness; and it is not seemly to call the sinner
roundly blockhead and booby; without knowing anything of the sin
that is reproved。 Come; tell me; for which of the stupidities you have
observed in me do you condemn and abuse me; and bid me go home and
look after my house and wife and children; without knowing whether I
have any? Is nothing more needed than to get a footing; by hook or
by crook; in other people's houses to rule over the masters (and that;
perhaps; after having been brought up in all the straitness of some
seminary; and without having ever seen more of the world than may
lie within twenty or thirty leagues round); to fit one to lay down the
law rashly for chivalry; and pass judgment on knights…errant? Is it;
haply; an idle occupation; or is the time ill…spent that is spent in
roaming the world in quest; not of its enjoyments; but of those
arduous toils whereby the good mount upwards to the abodes of
everlasting life? If gentlemen; great lords; nobles; men of high
birth; were to rate me as a fool I should take it as an irreparable
insult; but I care not a farthing if clerks who have never entered
upon or trod the paths of chivalry should think me foolish。 Knight I
am; and knight I will die; if such be the pleasure of the Most High。
Some take the broad road of overweening ambition; others that of
mean and servile flattery; others that of deceitful hypocrisy; and
some that of true religion; but I; led by my star; follow the narrow
path of knight…errantry; and in pursuit of that calling I despise
wealth; but not honour。 I have redressed injuries; righted wrongs;
punished insolences; vanquished giants; and crushed monsters; I am
in love; for no other reason than that it is incumbent on
knights…errant to be so; but though I am; I am no carnal…minded lover;
but one of the chaste; platonic sort。 My intentions are always
directed to worthy ends; to do good to all and evil to none; and if he
who means this; does this; and makes this his practice deserves to
be called a fool; it is for your highnesses to say; O most excellent
duke and duchess。〃
  〃Good; by God!〃 cried Sancho; 〃say no more in your own defence;
master mine; for there's nothing more in the world to be said;
thought; or insisted on; and besides; when this gentleman denies; as
he has; that there are or ever have been any knights…errant in the
world; is it any wonder if he knows nothing of what he has been
talking about?〃
  〃Perhaps; brother;〃 said the ecclesiastic; 〃you are that Sancho
Panza that is mentioned; to whom your master has promised an island?〃
  〃Yes; I am;〃 said Sancho; 〃and what's more; I am one who deserves it
as much as anyone; I am one of the sort… 'Attach thyself to the
good; and thou wilt be one of them;' and of those; 'Not with whom thou
art bred; but with whom thou art fed;' and of those; 'Who leans
against a good tree; a good shade covers him;' I have leant upon a
good master; and I have been for months going about with him; and
please God I shall be just such another; long life to him and long
life to me; for neither will he be in any want of empires to rule;
or I of islands to govern。〃
  〃No; Sancho my friend; certainly not;〃 said the duke; 〃for in the
name of Senor Don Quixote I confer upon you the government of one of
no small importance that I have at my disposal。〃
  〃Go down on thy knees; Sancho;〃 said Don Quixote; 〃and kiss the feet
of his excellence for the favour he has bestowed upon thee。〃
  Sancho obeyed; and on seeing this the ecclesiastic stood up from
table completely out of temper; exclaiming; 〃By the gown I wear; I
am almost inclined to say that your excellence is as great a fool as
these sinners。 No wonder they are mad; when people who are in their
senses sanction their madness! I leave your excellence with them;
for so long as they are in the house; I will remain in my own; and
spare myself the trouble of reproving what I cannot remedy;〃 and
without uttering another word; or eating another morsel; he went
off; the entreaties of the duke and duchess being entirely
unavailing to stop him; not that the duke said much to him; for he
could not; because of the laughter his uncalled…for anger provoked。
  When he had done laughing; he said to Don Quixote; 〃You have replied
on your own behalf so stoutly; Sir Knight of the Lions; that there
is no occasion to seek further satisfaction for this; which; though it
may look like an offence; is not so at all; for; as women can give
no offence; no more can ecclesiastics; as you very well know。〃
  〃That is true;〃 said Don Quixote; 〃and the reason is; that he who is
not liable to offence cannot give offence to anyone。 Women;
children; and ecclesiastics; as they cannot defend themselves;
though they may receive offence cannot be insulted; because between
the offence and the insult there is; as your excellence very well
knows; this difference: the insult comes from one who is capable of
offering it; and does so; and maintains it; the offence may come
from any quarter without carrying insult。 To take an example: a man is
standing unsuspectingly in the street and ten others come up armed and
beat him; he draws his sword and quits himself like a man; but the
number of his antagonists makes it impossible for him to effect his
purpose and avenge himself; this man suffers an offence but not an
insult。 Another example will make the same thing plain: a man is
standing with his back turned; another comes up and strikes him; and
after striking him takes to flight; without waiting an instant; and
the other pursues him but does not overtake him; he who received the
blow received an offence; but not an insult; because an insult must be
maintained。 If he who struck him; though he did so sneakingly and
treacherously; had drawn his sword and stood and faced him; then he
who had been struck would have received offence and insult at the same
time; offence because he was struck treacherously; insult because he
who struck him maintained what he had done; standing his ground
without taking to flight。 And so; according to the laws of the
accursed duel; I may have received offence; but not insult; for
neither women nor children can maintain it; nor can they wound; nor
have they any way of standing their ground; and it is just the same
with those connected with religion; for these three sorts of persons
are without arms offensive or defensive; and so; though naturally they
are bound to defend themselves; they have no right to offend
anybody; and though I said just now I might have received offence; I
say now certainly not; for he who cannot receive an insult can still
less give one; for which reasons I ought not to feel; nor do I feel;
aggrieved at what that good man said to me; I only wish he had
stayed a little longer; that I might have shown him the mistake he
makes in supposing and maintaining that there are not and never have
been any knights…errant in the world; had Amadis or any of his
countless descendants heard him say as much; I am sure it would not
have gone well with his worship。〃
  〃I will take my oath of that;〃 said Sancho; 〃they would have given
him a slash that would have slit him down from top to toe like a
pomegranate or a ripe melon; they were likely fellows to put up with
jokes of that sort! By my faith; I'm certain if Reinaldos of Montalvan
had heard the little man's words he would have given him such a
spank on the mouth that he wouldn't have spoken for the next three
years; ay; let him tackle them; and he'll see how he'll get out of
their hands!〃
  The duchess; as she listened to Sancho; was ready to die with
laughter; and in her own mind she set him down as droller and madder
than his master; and there were a good many just then who were of
the same opinion。
  Don Quixote finally grew calm; and dinner came to an end; and as the
cloth was removed four damsels came in; one of them with a silver
basin; another with a jug also of silver; a third with two fine
white towels on her shoulder; and the fourth with her arms bared to
the elbows; and in her white hands (for white they certainly were) a
round ball of Naples soap。 The one with the basin approached; and with
arch composure and impudence; thrust it under Don Quixote's chin; who;
wondering at such a ceremony; said never a word; supposing it to be
the custom of that country to wash beards i
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