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But that they have not； for Heaven will not suffer so great a wrong to
Earth； as it would be to pluck unripe the grapes of the fairest
vineyard on its surface。 Of this beauty； to which my poor feeble
tongue has failed to do justice； countless princes； not only of that
country； but of others； were enamoured； and among them a private
gentleman； who was at the court； dared to raise his thoughts to the
heaven of so great beauty； trusting to his youth； his gallant bearing；
his numerous accomplishments and graces； and his quickness and
readiness of wit； for I may tell your highnesses； if I am not wearying
you； that he played the guitar so as to make it speak； and he was；
besides； a poet and a great dancer； and he could make birdcages so
well； that by making them alone he might have gained a livelihood； had
he found himself reduced to utter poverty； and gifts and graces of
this kind are enough to bring down a mountain； not to say a tender
young girl。 But all his gallantry； wit； and gaiety； all his graces and
accomplishments； would have been of little or no avail towards gaining
the fortress of my pupil； had not the impudent thief taken the
precaution of gaining me over first。 First； the villain and
heartless vagabond sought to win my good…will and purchase my
compliance； so as to get me； like a treacherous warder； to deliver
up to him the keys of the fortress I had in charge。 In a word； he
gained an influence over my mind； and overcame my resolutions with I
know not what trinkets and jewels he gave me； but it was some verses I
heard him singing one night from a grating that opened on the street
where he lived； that； more than anything else； made me give way and
led to my fall； and if I remember rightly they ran thus：
From that sweet enemy of mine
My bleeding heart hath had its wound；
And to increase the pain I'm bound
To suffer and to make no sign。
The lines seemed pearls to me and his voice sweet as syrup； and
afterwards； I may say ever since then； looking at the misfortune
into which I have fallen； I have thought that poets； as Plato advised；
ought to he banished from all well…ordered States； at least the
amatory ones； for they write verses； not like those of 'The Marquis of
Mantua；' that delight and draw tears from the women and children；
but sharp…pointed conceits that pierce the heart like soft thorns； and
like the lightning strike it； leaving the raiment uninjured。 Another
time he sang：
Come Death； so subtly veiled that I
Thy coming know not； how or when；
Lest it should give me life again
To find how sweet it is to die。
…and other verses and burdens of the same sort； such as enchant when
sung and fascinate when written。 And then； when they condescend to
compose a sort of verse that was at that time in vogue in Kandy； which
they call seguidillas！ Then it is that hearts leap and laughter breaks
forth； and the body grows restless and all the senses turn
quicksilver。 And so I say； sirs； that these troubadours richly deserve
to be banished to the isles of the lizards。 Though it is not they that
are in fault； but the simpletons that extol them； and the fools that
believe in them； and had I been the faithful duenna I should have
been； his stale conceits would have never moved me； nor should I
have been taken in by such phrases as 'in death I live；' 'in ice I
burn；' 'in flames I shiver；' 'hopeless I hope；' 'I go and stay；' and
paradoxes of that sort which their writings are full of。 And then when
they promise the Phoenix of Arabia； the crown of Ariadne； the horses
of the Sun； the pearls of the South； the gold of Tibar； and the balsam
of Panchaia！ Then it is they give a loose to their pens； for it
costs them little to make promises they have no intention or power
of fulfilling。 But where am I wandering to？ Woe is me； unfortunate
being！ What madness or folly leads me to speak of the faults of
others； when there is so much to be said about my own？ Again； woe is
me； hapless that I am！ it was not verses that conquered me； but my own
simplicity； it was not music made me yield； but my own imprudence；
my own great ignorance and little caution opened the way and cleared
the path for Don Clavijo's advances； for that was the name of the
gentleman I have referred to； and so； with my help as go…between； he
found his way many a time into the chamber of the deceived Antonomasia
（deceived not by him but by me） under the title of a lawful husband；
for； sinner though I was； would not have allowed him to approach the
edge of her shoe…sole without being her husband。 No； no； not that；
marriage must come first in any business of this sort that I take in
hand。 But there was one hitch in this case； which was that of
inequality of rank； Don Clavijo being a private gentleman； and the
Princess Antonomasia； as I said； heiress to the kingdom。 The
entanglement remained for some time a secret； kept hidden by my
cunning precautions； until I perceived that a certain expansion of
waist in Antonomasia must before long disclose it； the dread of
which made us all there take counsel together； and it was agreed
that before the mischief came to light； Don Clavijo should demand
Antonomasia as his wife before the Vicar； in virtue of an agreement to
marry him made by the princess； and drafted by my wit in such
binding terms that the might of Samson could not have broken it。 The
necessary steps were taken； the Vicar saw the agreement； and took
the lady's confession； she confessed everything in full； and he
ordered her into the custody of a very worthy alguacil of the court。〃
〃Are there alguacils of the court in Kandy； too；〃 said Sancho at
this； 〃and poets； and seguidillas？ I swear I think the world is the
same all over！ But make haste； Senora Trifaldi； for it is late； and
I am dying to know the end of this long story。〃
〃I will；〃 replied the countess。
CHAPTER XXXIX
IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND MEMORABLE STORY
BY EVERY word that Sancho uttered； the duchess was as much delighted
as Don Quixote was driven to desperation。 He bade him hold his tongue；
and the Distressed One went on to say： 〃At length； after much
questioning and answering； as the princess held to her story；
without changing or varying her previous declaration； the Vicar gave
his decision in favour of Don Clavijo； and she was delivered over to
him as his lawful wife； which the Queen Dona Maguncia； the Princess
Antonomasia's mother； so took to heart； that within the space of three
days we buried her。〃
〃She died； no doubt；〃 said Sancho。
〃Of course；〃 said Trifaldin； 〃they don't bury living people in
Kandy； only the dead。〃
〃Senor Squire；〃 said Sancho； 〃a man in a swoon has been known to
be buried before now； in the belief that he was dead； and it struck me
that Queen Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died； because
with life a great many things come right； and the princess's folly was
not so great that she need feel it so keenly。 If the lady had
married some page of hers； or some other servant of the house； as many
another has done； so I have heard say； then the mischief would have
been past curing。 But to marry such an elegant accomplished
gentleman as has been just now described to us… indeed； indeed； though
it was a folly； it was not such a great one as you think； for
according to the rules of my master here… and he won't allow me to
lie… as of men of letters bishops are made； so of gentlemen knights；
specially if they be errant； kings and emperors may be made。〃
〃Thou art right； Sancho；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃for with a
knight…errant； if he has but two fingers' breadth of good fortune；
it is on the cards to become the mightiest lord on earth。 But let
senora the Distressed One proceed； for I suspect she has got yet to
tell us the bitter part of this so far sweet story。〃
〃The bitter is indeed to come；〃 said the countess； 〃and such
bitter that colocynth is sweet and oleander toothsome in comparison。
The queen； then； being dead； and not in a swoon； we buried her； and
hardly had we covered her with earth； hardly had we said our last
farewells； when； quis talia fando temperet a lachrymis？ over the
queen's grave there appeared； mounted upon a wooden horse； the giant
Malambruno； Maguncia's first cousin； who besides being cruel is an
enchanter； and he； to revenge the death of his cousin； punish the
audacity of Don Clavijo； and in wrath at the contumacy of Antonomasia；
left them both enchanted by his art on the grave itself； she being
changed into an ape of brass； and he into a horrible crocodile of some
unknown metal； while between the two there stands a pillar； also of
metal； with certain characters in the Syriac language inscribed upon
it； which； being translated into Kandian； and now into Castilian；
contain the following sentence： 'These two rash lovers shall not
recover their former shape until the valiant Manchegan comes to do
battle with me in single combat； for the Fates reserve this unexampled
adventure for his mighty valour alone。' This done； he drew from its
sheath a huge broad scimitar； and seizing me by the hair he made as
though he meant to cut my throat and shear my head clean off