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weakness they will bring their batteries to bear upon thee in that
quarter； till they have brought thee down to the depths of
perdition。 Consider and reconsider； con and con over again the advices
and the instructions I gave thee before thy departure hence to thy
government； and thou wilt see that in them； if thou dost follow
them； thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for thee the troubles
and difficulties that beset governors at every step。 Write to thy lord
and lady and show thyself grateful to them； for ingratitude is the
daughter of pride； and one of the greatest sins we know of； and he who
is grateful to those who have been good to him shows that he will be
so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many blessings
upon him。
My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another
present to thy wife Teresa Panza； we expect the answer every moment。 I
have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in
for； not very much to the benefit of my nose； but it was nothing；
for if there are enchanters who maltreat me； there are also some who
defend me。 Let me know if the majordomo who is with thee had any share
in the Trifaldi performance； as thou didst suspect； and keep me
informed of everything that happens thee； as the distance is so short；
all the more as I am thinking of giving over very shortly this idle
life I am now leading； for I was not born for it。 A thing has occurred
to me which I am inclined to think will put me out of favour with
the duke and duchess； but though I am sorry for it I do not care；
for after all I must obey my calling rather than their pleasure； in
accordance with the common saying； amicus Plato； sed magis amica
veritas。 I quote this Latin to thee because I conclude that since thou
hast been a governor thou wilt have learned it。 Adieu； God keep thee
from being an object of pity to anyone。
Thy friend；
DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA。
Sancho listened to the letter with great attention； and it was
praised and considered wise by all who heard it； he then rose up
from table； and calling his secretary shut himself in with him in
his own room； and without putting it off any longer set about
answering his master Don Quixote at once； and he bade the secretary
write down what he told him without adding or suppressing anything；
which he did； and the answer was to the following effect。
SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA。
The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time
to scratch my head or even to cut my nails； and I have them so long…
God send a remedy for it。 I say this； master of my soul； that you
may not be surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I
fare； well or ill； in this government； in which I am suffering more
hunger than when we two were wandering through the woods and wastes。
My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain
spies had got into this island to kill me； but up to the present I
have not found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary
in this town for killing all the governors that come here； he is
called Doctor Pedro Recio； and is from Tirteafuera； so you see what
a name he has to make me dread dying under his hands。 This doctor says
of himself that he does not cure diseases when there are any； but
prevents them coming； and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet
until he brings one down to bare bones； as if leanness was not worse
than fever。
In short he is killing me with hunger； and I am dying myself of
vexation； for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my
meat hot and my drink cool； and take my ease between holland sheets on
feather beds； I find I have come to do penance as if I was a hermit；
and as I don't do it willingly I suspect that in the end the devil
will carry me off。
So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes； and I
don't know what to think of it； for here they tell me that the
governors that come to this island； before entering it have plenty
of money either given to them or lent to them by the people of the
town； and that this is the usual custom not only here but with all who
enter upon governments。
Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in man's
clothes； and a brother of hers dressed as a woman； my head…carver
has fallen in love with the girl； and has in his own mind chosen her
for a wife； so he says； and I have chosen youth for a son…in…law；
to…day we are going to explain our intentions to the father of the
pair； who is one Diego de la Llana； a gentleman and an old Christian
as much as you please。
I have visited the market…places； as your worship advises me； and
yesterday I found a stall…keeper selling new hazel nuts and proved her
to have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of
new； I confiscated the whole for the children of the charity…school；
who will know how to distinguish them well enough； and I sentenced her
not to come into the market…place for a fortnight； they told me I
did bravely。 I can tell your worship it is commonly said in this
town that there are no people worse than the market…women； for they
are all barefaced； unconscionable； and impudent； and I can well
believe it from what I have seen of them in other towns。
I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife Teresa
Panza and sent her the present your worship speaks of； and I will
strive to show myself grateful when the time comes； kiss her hands for
me； and tell her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole
in it； as she will see in the end。 I should not like your worship to
have any difference with my lord and lady； for if you fall out with
them it is plain it must do me harm； and as you give me advice to be
grateful it will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to
those who have shown you such kindness； and by whom you have been
treated so hospitably in their castle。
That about the scratching I don't understand； but I suppose it
must be one of the ill…turns the wicked enchanters are always doing
your worship； when we meet I shall know all about it。 I wish I could
send your worship something； but I don't know what to send； unless
it be some very curious clyster pipes； to work with bladders； that
they make in this island； but if the office remains with me I'll
find out something to send； one way or another。 If my wife Teresa
Panza writes to me； pay the postage and send me the letter； for I have
a very great desire to hear how my house and wife and children are
going on。 And so； may God deliver your worship from evil…minded
enchanters； and bring me well and peacefully out of this government；
which I doubt； for I expect to take leave of it and my life
together； from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me。
Your worship's servant
SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR。
The secretary sealed the letter； and immediately dismissed the
courier； and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho
putting their heads together arranged how he was to be dismissed
from the government。 Sancho spent the afternoon in drawing up
certain ordinances relating to the good government of what he
fancied the island； and he ordained that there were to be no provision
hucksters in the State； and that men might import wine into it from
any place they pleased； provided they declared the quarter it came
from； so that a price might be put upon it according to its quality；
reputation； and the estimation it was held in； and he that watered his
wine； or changed the name； was to forfeit his life for it。 He
reduced the prices of all manner of shoes； boots； and stockings； but
of shoes in particular； as they seemed to him to run extravagantly
high。 He established a fixed rate for servants' wages； which were
becoming recklessly exorbitant。 He laid extremely heavy penalties upon
those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night。 He
decreed that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse；
unless he could produce authentic evidence that it was true； for it
was his opinion that most of those the blind men sing are trumped
up； to the detriment of the true ones。 He established and created an
alguacil of the poor； not to harass them； but to examine them and
see whether they really were so； for many a sturdy thief or drunkard
goes about under cover of a make…believe crippled limb or a sham sore。
In a word； he made so many good rules that to this day they are
preserved there； and are called The constitutions of the great
governor Sancho Panza。
CHAPTER LII
WHEREIN IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND DISTRESSED OR
AFFLICTED DUENNA； OTHERWISE CALLED DONA RODRIGUEZ
CIDE HAMETE relates that Don Quixote being now cured of his
scratches felt that the life he was leading in the castle was entirely
inconsistent with the order of chivalry he professed； so he determined
to ask the duke and duchess to permit him to take his departure for
Saragossa； as the time of the festival was now drawing near； and he
hoped to win there the suit of armour which is the prize at
festiv