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my desire is none other than to serve you。〃
The incomprehensible language and the unpromising looks of our
cavalier only increased the ladies' laughter； and that increased his
irritation； and matters might have gone farther if at that moment
the landlord had not come out； who； being a very fat man； was a very
peaceful one。 He； seeing this grotesque figure clad in armour that did
not match any more than his saddle； bridle； lance； buckler； or
corselet； was not at all indisposed to join the damsels in their
manifestations of amusement； but； in truth； standing in awe of such
a complicated armament； he thought it best to speak him fairly； so
he said； 〃Senor Caballero； if your worship wants lodging； bating the
bed （for there is not one in the inn） there is plenty of everything
else here。〃 Don Quixote； observing the respectful bearing of the
Alcaide of the fortress （for so innkeeper and inn seemed in his eyes）；
made answer； 〃Sir Castellan； for me anything will suffice； for
'My armour is my only wear；
My only rest the fray。'〃
The host fancied he called him Castellan because he took him for a
〃worthy of Castile；〃 though he was in fact an Andalusian； and one from
the strand of San Lucar； as crafty a thief as Cacus and as full of
tricks as a student or a page。 〃In that case；〃 said he；
〃'Your bed is on the flinty rock；
Your sleep to watch alway；'
and if so； you may dismount and safely reckon upon any quantity of
sleeplessness under this roof for a twelvemonth； not to say for a
single night。〃 So saying； he advanced to hold the stirrup for Don
Quixote； who got down with great difficulty and exertion （for he had
not broken his fast all day）； and then charged the host to take
great care of his horse； as he was the best bit of flesh that ever ate
bread in this world。 The landlord eyed him over but did not find him
as good as Don Quixote said； nor even half as good； and putting him up
in the stable； he returned to see what might be wanted by his guest；
whom the damsels； who had by this time made their peace with him； were
now relieving of his armour。 They had taken off his breastplate and
backpiece； but they neither knew nor saw how to open his gorget or
remove his make…shift helmet； for he had fastened it with green
ribbons； which； as there was no untying the knots； required to be cut。
This； however； he would not by any means consent to； so he remained
all the evening with his helmet on； the drollest and oddest figure
that can be imagined； and while they were removing his armour；
taking the baggages who were about it for ladies of high degree
belonging to the castle； he said to them with great sprightliness：
〃Oh； never； surely； was there knight
So served by hand of dame；
As served was he； Don Quixote hight；
When from his town he came；
With maidens waiting on himself；
Princesses on his hack…
…or Rocinante； for that； ladies mine； is my horse's name； and Don
Quixote of La Mancha is my own； for though I had no intention of
declaring myself until my achievements in your service and honour
had made me known； the necessity of adapting that old ballad of
Lancelot to the present occasion has given you the knowledge of my
name altogether prematurely。 A time； however； will come for your
ladyships to command and me to obey； and then the might of my arm will
show my desire to serve you。〃
The girls； who were not used to hearing rhetoric of this sort； had
nothing to say in reply； they only asked him if he wanted anything
to eat。 〃I would gladly eat a bit of something；〃 said Don Quixote；
〃for I feel it would come very seasonably。〃 The day happened to be a
Friday； and in the whole inn there was nothing but some pieces of
the fish they call in Castile 〃abadejo；〃 in Andalusia 〃bacallao；〃
and in some places 〃curadillo；〃 and in others 〃troutlet；〃 so they
asked him if he thought he could eat troutlet； for there was no
other fish to give him。 〃If there be troutlets enough；〃 said Don
Quixote； 〃they will be the same thing as a trout； for it is all one to
me whether I am given eight reals in small change or a piece of eight；
moreover； it may be that these troutlets are like veal； which is
better than beef； or kid； which is better than goat。 But whatever it
be let it come quickly； for the burden and pressure of arms cannot
be borne without support to the inside。〃 They laid a table for him
at the door of the inn for the sake of the air； and the host brought
him a portion of ill…soaked and worse cooked stockfish； and a piece of
bread as black and mouldy as his own armour； but a laughable sight
it was to see him eating； for having his helmet on and the beaver
up； he could not with his own hands put anything into his mouth unless
some one else placed it there； and this service one of the ladies
rendered him。 But to give him anything to drink was impossible； or
would have been so had not the landlord bored a reed； and putting
one end in his mouth poured the wine into him through the other； all
which he bore with patience rather than sever the ribbons of his
helmet。
While this was going on there came up to the inn a sowgelder； who；
as he approached； sounded his reed pipe four or five times； and
thereby completely convinced Don Quixote that he was in some famous
castle； and that they were regaling him with music； and that the
stockfish was trout； the bread the whitest； the wenches ladies； and
the landlord the castellan of the castle； and consequently he held
that his enterprise and sally had been to some purpose。 But still it
distressed him to think he had not been dubbed a knight； for it was
plain to him he could not lawfully engage in any adventure without
receiving the order of knighthood。
CHAPTER III
WHEREIN IS RELATED THE DROLL WAY IN WHICH DON QUIXOTE HAD HIMSELF
DUBBED A KNIGHT
HARASSED by this reflection； he made haste with his scanty
pothouse supper； and having finished it called the landlord； and
shutting himself into the stable with him； fell on his knees before
him； saying； 〃From this spot I rise not； valiant knight； until your
courtesy grants me the boon I seek； one that will redound to your
praise and the benefit of the human race。〃 The landlord； seeing his
guest at his feet and hearing a speech of this kind； stood staring
at him in bewilderment； not knowing what to do or say； and
entreating him to rise； but all to no purpose until he had agreed to
grant the boon demanded of him。 〃I looked for no less； my lord； from
your High Magnificence；〃 replied Don Quixote； 〃and I have to tell
you that the boon I have asked and your liberality has granted is that
you shall dub me knight to…morrow morning； and that to…night I shall
watch my arms in the chapel of this your castle； thus tomorrow； as I
have said； will be accomplished what I so much desire； enabling me
lawfully to roam through all the four quarters of the world seeking
adventures on behalf of those in distress； as is the duty of
chivalry and of knights…errant like myself； whose ambition is directed
to such deeds。〃
The landlord； who； as has been mentioned； was something of a wag；
and had already some suspicion of his guest's want of wits； was
quite convinced of it on hearing talk of this kind from him； and to
make sport for the night he determined to fall in with his humour。
So he told him he was quite right in pursuing the object he had in
view； and that such a motive was natural and becoming in cavaliers
as distinguished as he seemed and his gallant bearing showed him to
be； and that he himself in his younger days had followed the same
honourable calling； roaming in quest of adventures in various parts of
the world； among others the Curing…grounds of Malaga； the Isles of
Riaran； the Precinct of Seville； the Little Market of Segovia； the
Olivera of Valencia； the Rondilla of Granada； the Strand of San Lucar；
the Colt of Cordova； the Taverns of Toledo； and divers other quarters；
where he had proved the nimbleness of his feet and the lightness of
his fingers； doing many wrongs； cheating many widows； ruining maids
and swindling minors； and； in short； bringing himself under the notice
of almost every tribunal and court of justice in Spain； until at
last he had retired to this castle of his； where he was living upon
his property and upon that of others； and where he received all
knights…errant of whatever rank or condition they might be； all for
the great love he bore them and that they might share their
substance with him in return for his benevolence。 He told him；
moreover； that in this castle of his there was no chapel in which he
could watch his armour； as it had been pulled down in order to be
rebuilt； but that in a case of necessity it might； he knew； be watched
anywhere； and he might watch it that night in a courtyard of the
castle； and in the morning； God willing； the requisite ceremonies
might be performed so as to have him dubbed a knight； and so
thoroughly dubbed that nobody could be more so。 He asked if he had any
money with him； to which Don Quixote replied that he had not a
farthing； as in the histories of knights…errant he had never