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Soc。 Very true； my good friend； and I hope that you will excuse me
when you hear the reason； which is； that I am a lover of knowledge；
and the men who dwell in the city are my teachers； and not the trees
or the country。 Though I do indeed believe that you have found a spell
with which to draw me out of the city into the country； like a
hungry cow before whom a bough or a bunch of fruit is waved。 For
only hold up before me in like manner a book； and you may lead me
all round Attica； and over the wide world。 And now having arrived； I
intend to lie down； and do you choose any posture in which you can
read best。 Begin。
Phaedr。 Listen。 You know how matters stand with me； and how； as I
conceive； this affair may be arranged for the advantage of both of us。
And I maintain that I ought not to fail in my suit； because I am not
your lover： for lovers repent of the kindnesses which they have
shown when their passion ceases； but to the non…lovers who are free
and not under any compulsion； no time of repentance ever comes； for
they confer their benefits according to the measure of their
ability； in the way which is most conducive to their own interest。
Then again； lovers consider how by reason of their love they have
neglected their own concerns and rendered service to others： and
when to these benefits conferred they add on the troubles which they
have endured； they think that they have long ago made to the beloved a
very ample return。 But the non…lover has no such tormenting
recollections； he has never neglected his affairs or quarrelled with
his relations； he has no troubles to add up or excuse to invent； and
being well rid of all these evils； why should he not freely do what
will gratify the beloved？
If you say that the lover is more to be esteemed； because his love
is thought to be greater； for he is willing to say and do what is
hateful to other men； in order to please his beloved；…that； if true；
is only a proof that he will prefer any future love to his present；
and will injure his old love at the pleasure of the new。 And how； in a
matter of such infinite importance； can a man be right in trusting
himself to one who is afflicted with a malady which no experienced
person would attempt to cure； for the patient himself admits that he
is not in his right mind； and acknowledges that he is wrong in his
mind； but says that he is unable to control himself？ And if he came to
his right mind； would he ever imagine that the desires were good which
he conceived when in his wrong mind？ Once more； there are many more
non…lovers than lovers； and if you choose the best of the lovers；
you will not have many to choose from； but if from the non…lovers； the
choice will be larger； and you will be far more likely to find among
them a person who is worthy of your friendship。 If public opinion be
your dread； and you would avoid reproach； in all probability the
lover； who is always thinking that other men are as emulous of him
as he is of them； will boast to some one of his successes； and make
a show of them openly in the pride of his heart；…he wants others to
know that his labour has not been lost； but the non…lover is more
his own master； and is desirous of solid good； and not of the
opinion of mankind。 Again； the lover may be generally noted or seen
following the beloved （this is his regular occupation）； and whenever
they are observed to exchange two words they are supposed to meet
about some affair of love either past or in contemplation； but when
non…lovers meet； no one asks the reason why； because people know
that talking to another is natural； whether friendship or mere
pleasure be the motive。
Once more； if you fear the fickleness of friendship； consider that
in any other case a quarrel might be a mutual calamity； but now；
when you have given up what is most precious to you； you will be the
greater loser； and therefore； you will have more reason in being
afraid of the lover； for his vexations are many； and he is always
fancying that every one is leagued against him。 Wherefore also he
debars his beloved from society； he will not have you intimate with
the wealthy； lest they should exceed him in wealth； or with men of
education； lest they should be his superiors in understanding； and
he is equally afraid of anybody's influence who has any other
advantage over himself。 If he can persuade you to break with them； you
are left without friend in the world； or if； out of a regard to your
own interest； you have more sense than to comply with his desire；
you will have to quarrel with him。 But those who are non…lovers； and
whose success in love is the reward of their merit； will not be
jealous of the companions of their beloved； and will rather hate those
who refuse to be his associates； thinking that their favourite is
slighted by the latter and benefited by the former； for more love than
hatred may be expected to come to him out of his friendship with
others。 Many lovers too have loved the person of a youth before they
knew his character or his belongings； so that when their passion has
passed away； there is no knowing whether they will continue to be
his friends； whereas； in the case of non…lovers who were always
friends； the friendship is not lessened by the favours granted； but
the recollection of these remains with them； and is an earnest of good
things to come。
Further； I say that you are likely to be improved by me； whereas the
lover will spoil you。 For they praise your words and actions in a
wrong way； partly； because they are afraid of offending you； and also；
their judgment is weakened by passion。 Such are the feats which love
exhibits； he makes things painful to the disappointed which give no
pain to others； he compels the successful lover to praise what ought
not to give him pleasure； and therefore the beloved is to be pitied
rather than envied。 But if you listen to me； in the first place； I； in
my intercourse with you； shall not merely regard present enjoyment；
but also future advantage； being not mastered by love； but my own
master； nor for small causes taking violent dislikes； but even when
the cause is great； slowly laying up little wrath…unintentional
offences I shall forgive； and intentional ones I shall try to prevent；
and these are the marks of a friendship which will last。
Do you think that a lover only can be a firm friend？ reflect：…if
this were true； we should set small value on sons； or fathers； or
mothers； nor should we ever have loyal friends； for our love of them
arises not from passion； but from other associations。 Further； if we
ought to shower favours on those who are the most eager suitors；…on
that principle； we ought always to do good； not to the most
virtuous； but to the most needy； for they are the persons who will
be most relieved； and will therefore be the most grateful； and when
you make a feast you should invite not your friend； but the beggar and
the empty soul； for they will love you； and attend you； and come about
your doors； and will be the best pleased； and the most grateful； and
will invoke many a blessing on your head。 Yet surely you ought not
to be granting favours to those who besiege you with prayer； but to
those who are best able to reward you； nor to the lover only； but to
those who are worthy of love； nor to those who will enjoy the bloom of
your youth； but to those who will share their possessions with you
in age； nor to those who； having succeeded； will glory in their
success to others； but to those who will be modest and tell no
tales； nor to those who care about you for a moment only； but to those
who will continue your friends through life； nor to those who； when
their passion is over； will pick a quarrel with you； but rather to
those who； when the charm of youth has left you； will show their own
virtue。 Remember what I have said； and consider yet this further
point： friends admonish the lover under the idea that his way of
life is bad； but no one of his kindred ever yet censured the
non…lover； or thought that he was ill…advised about his own interests。
〃Perhaps you will ask me whether I propose that you should indulge
every non…lover。 To which I reply that not even the lover would advise
you to indulge all lovers； for the indiscriminate favour is less
esteemed by the rational recipient； and less easily hidden by him
who would escape the censure of the world。 Now love ought to be for
the advantage of both parties； and for the i