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moment exclaiming; 〃Poor little Meta!〃 he hurried away。
A gloom fell on those who remained; for; besides their sympathy for
Meta; and their liking for her kind old father; there was that one
unacknowledged heartache; which; though in general bravely combated;
lay in wait always ready to prey on them。 Hector stole round to sit
by Margaret; and Dr。 Spencer muttered; 〃This will never do;〃 and sent
Tom to fetch some papers lying on his table; whence he read them some
curious accounts that he had just received from his missionary
friends in India。
They were interested; but in a listening mood; that caused a
universal start when the bell again sounded。 This time; James
reported that the servant from the Grange said his master was very
illhe had brought a letter to post for Mr。 George Rivers; and here
was a note for Miss Ethel。 It was the only note Ethel had ever
received from her father; and contained these few words:
〃DEAR E。;
〃I believe this attack will be the last。 Come to Meta; and bring my
things。
R。 M。〃
Ethel put her hands to her forehead。 It was as if she had been again
plunged into the stunned dream of misery of four years ago; and her
sensation was of equal bewilderment and uselessness; but it was but
for a momentthe next she was in a state of over…bustle and
eagerness。 She wanted to fly about and hasten to help Meta; and
could hardly obey the word and gesture by which Margaret summoned her
to her side。
〃Dear Ethel; you must calm yourself; or you will not be of use。〃
〃I? I can't be of any use! Oh; if you could go! If Flora were but
here! But I must go; Margaret。〃
〃I will put up your father's things;〃 said Dr。 Spencer; in a soothing
tone。 〃The carriage cannot be ready in a moment; so that there will
be full time。〃
Mary and Miss Bracy prepared Ethel's own goods; which she would
otherwise have forgotten; and Margaret; meanwhile; detained her by
her side; trying to calm and encourage her with gentle words of
counsel; that might hinder her from giving way to the flurry of
emotion that had seized her; and prevent her from thinking herself
certain to be useless。
Adams was to drive her thither in the gig; and it presently came to
the door。 Dr。 Spencer wrapped her up well in cloaks and shawls; and
spoke words of kindly cheer in her ear as she set off。 The fresh
night air blew pleasantly on her; the stars glimmered in full glory
overhead; and now and then her eye was caught by the rocket…like
track of a shooting…star。 Orion was rising slowly far in the east;
and bringing to her mind the sailor…boy under the southern sky; if;
indeed; he were not where sun and stars no more are the light。 It
was strange that the thought came more as soothing than as acute
pain; she could bear to think of him thus in her present frame; as
long as she had not to talk of him。 Under those solemn stars; the
life everlasting seemed to overpower the sense of this mortal life;
and Ethel's agitation was calmed away。
The old cedar…tree stood up in stately blackness against the sky; and
the lights in the house glanced behind it。 The servants looked
rather surprised to see Ethel; as if she were not expected; and
conducted her to the great drawing…room; which looked the more
desolate and solitary; from the glare of lamplight; falling on the
empty seats which Ethel had lately seen filled with a glad home
party。 She was looking round; thinking whether to venture up to
Meta's room; and there summon Bellairs; when Meta came gliding in;
and threw her arms round her。 Ethel could not speak; but Meta's
voice was more cheerful than she had expected。 〃How kind of you;
dear Ethel!〃
〃Papa sent for me;〃 said Ethel。
〃He is so kind! Can Margaret spare you?〃
〃Oh; yes; but you must leave me。 You must want to be with him。〃
〃He never lets me come in when he has these attacks;〃 said Meta。 〃If
he only would! But will you come up to my room? That is nearer。〃
〃Is papa with him?〃
〃Yes。〃
Meta wound her arms round Ethel; and led her up to her sitting…room;
where a book lay on the table。 She said that her father had seemed
weary and torpid; and had sat still until almost their late dinner…
hour; when he seemed to bethink himself of dressing; and had risen。
She thought he walked weakly; and rather tottering; and had run to
make him lean on her; which he did; as far as his own room door。
There he had kissed her; and thanked her; and murmured a word like
blessing。 She had not; however; been alarmed; until his servant had
come to tell her that he had another seizure。
Ethel asked whether she had seen Dr。 May since he had been with her
father。 She had; but Ethel was surprised to find that she had not
taken in the extent of his fears。 She had become so far accustomed
to these attacks; that; though anxious and distressed; she did not
apprehend more than a few days' weakness; and her chief longing was
to be of use。 She was speaking cheerfully of beginning her nursing
to…morrow; and of her great desire that her papa would allow her to
sit up with him; when there was a slow; reluctant movement of the
lock of the door; and the two girls sprang to their feet; as Dr。 May
opened it; and Ethel read his countenance at once。
Not so Meta。 〃How is he? May I go to him?〃 cried she。
〃Not now; my dear;〃 said Dr。 May; putting his hand on her shoulder;
in a gentle; detaining manner; that sent a thrill of trembling
through her frame; though she did not otherwise move。 She only
clasped her hands together; and looked up into his face。 He answered
the look。 〃Yes; my dear; the struggle is over。〃
Ethel came near; and put her arm round Meta's waist; as if to
strengthen her; as she stood quite passive and still。
Dr。 May seemed to think it best that all should be told; but; though
intently watching Meta; he directed his words to his own daughter。
〃Thank Heaven; it has been shorter; and less painful; than I had
dared to hope。〃
Meta tried to speak; but could not bring out the words; and; with an
imploring look at Ethel; as if to beg her to make them clear for her;
she inarticulately murmured; 〃Oh! why did you not call me?〃
〃I could not。 He would not let me。 His last conscious word to me
was not to let you see him suffer。〃
Meta wrung her clasped hands together in mute anguish。 Dr。 May
signed to Ethel to guide her back to the sofa; but the movement
seemed so far to rouse her; that she said; 〃I should like to go to
bed。〃
〃Rightthe best thing;〃 said Dr。 May; and he whispered to Ethel; 〃Go
with her; but don't try to rouse herdon't talk to her。 Come back
to me; presently。〃
He did not even shake hands with Meta; nor wish her good…night; as
she disappeared into her own room。
Bellairs undressed her; and Ethel stood watching; till the young
head; under the load of sorrow; so new to it; was laid on the pillow。
Bellairs asked her if she would have a light。
〃No; no; thank youthe dark and alone。 Good…night;〃 said Meta。
Ethel went back to the sitting…room; where her father was standing at
the window; looking out into the night。 He turned as she came in;
folded her in his arms; and kissed her forehead。 〃And how is the
poor little dear?〃 he asked。
〃The same;〃 said Ethel。 〃I can't bear to leave her alone; and to
have said nothing to comfort her。〃
〃It is too soon as yet;〃 said Dr。 May〃her mind has not taken it in。
I hope she will sleep all night; and have more strength to look at it
when she wakens。〃
〃She was utterly unprepared。〃
〃I could not make her understand me;〃 said Dr。 May。
〃And; oh; papa; what a pity she was not there!〃
〃It was no sight for her; till the last few minutes; and his whole
mind seemed bent on sparing her。 What tenderness it has been。〃
〃Must we leave her to herself all night?〃
〃Better so;〃 said Dr。 May。 〃She has been used to loneliness; and to
thrust companionship on her would be only harassing。〃
Ethel; who scarcely knew what it was to be alone; looked as if she
did not understand。
〃I used to try to force consolation on people;〃 said Dr。 May; 〃but I
know; now; that it can only be done by following their bent。〃
〃You have seen so many sorrows;〃 said Ethel。
〃I never understood till I felt;〃 said Dr。 May。 〃Those few first
days were a lesson。〃
〃I did not think you knew what was passing;〃 said Ethel。
〃I doubt whether any part of my life is more distinctly before me
than those two days;〃 said Dr。 May。 〃Flora coming in and out; and
poor Alan sitting by me; but I don't believe I had any will。 I could
no more have moved my mind than my broken arm; and I verily think;
Ethel; that; but for that merciful torpor; I should have been
frantic。 It taught me never to disturb grief。〃
〃And what shall we do?〃
〃You must stay with her till Flora comes。 I will be here as much as
I can。 She is our charge; till they come home。 I told him; between
the spasms; that I had sent for you; and he seemed pleased。〃
〃If only I were anybody else!〃
Dr。 May again threw his arm round her; and looked into her face。 He
felt that he had rather have her; such as she was; than anybody else;
and; together; they sat down; and talked of what wa