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Bleater's London Correspondent was a Blind Ass〃。 Being pressed by a
man of spirit to give his reasons for this extraordinary statement； he
declared that the Gallery； crammed to suffocation； would not hold two
hundred pounds； and that its expenses were； probably； at least half what it
did hold。 The man of spirit （himself a Tattlesnivellian） had the Gallery
measured within a week from that hour； and it would not hold two
hundred pounds！ Now； can the poorest capacity doubt that it had been
altered in the meantime？
And so the conspiracy extends； through every grade of society； down
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to the condemned criminal in prison； the hangman； and the Ordinary。
Every famous murderer within the last ten years has desecrated his last
moments by falsifying his confidences imparted specially to the London
Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater； on every such occasion； Mr。
Calcraft has followed the degrading example； and the reverend Ordinary；
forgetful of his cloth； and mindful only （it would seem； alas！） of the
conspiracy； has committed himself to some account or other of the
criminal's demeanour and conversation； which has been diametrically
opposed to the exclusive information of the London Correspondent of the
Bleater。 And this （as has been before observed） is Merry England！
A man of true genius； however； is not easily defeated。 The Bleater's
London Correspondent； probably beginning to suspect the existence of a
plot against him； has recently fallen on a new style； which； as being very
difficult to countermine； may necessitate the organisation of a new
conspiracy。 One of his masterly letters； lately； disclosed the adoption of
this stylewhich was remarked with profound sensation throughout
Tattlesnivelin the following passage： 〃Mentioning literary small talk； I
may tell you that some new and extraordinary rumours are afloat
concerning the conversations I have previously mentioned； alleged to have
taken place in the first floor front （situated over the street door）； of Mr。 X。
Ameter （the poet so well known to your readers）； in which； X。 Ameter's
great uncle； his second son； his butcher； and a corpulent gentleman with
one eye universally respected at Kensington； are said not to have been on
the most friendly footing； I forbear； however； to pursue the subject further；
this week； my informant not being able to supply me with exact
particulars。〃
But； enough； sir。 The inhabitant of Tattlesnivel who has taken pen in
hand to expose this odious association of unprincipled men against a
shining （local） character； turns from it with disgust and contempt。 Let
him in few words strip the remaining flimsy covering from the nude object
of the conspirators； and his loathsome task is ended。
Sir； that object； he contends； is evidently twofold。 First； to exhibit the
London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater in the light of a
mischievous Blockhead who； by hiring himself out to tell what he cannot
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possibly know； is as great a public nuisance as a Blockhead in a corner can
be。 Second； to suggest to the men of Tattlesnivel that it does not improve
their town to have so much Dry Rubbish shot there。
Now； sir； on both these points Tattlesnivel demands in accents of
Thunder； Where is the Attorney General？ Why doesn't the Times take it
up？ （Is the latter in the conspiracy？ It never adopts his views； or quotes
him； and incessantly contradicts him。） Tattlesnivel； sir； remembering that
our forefathers contended with the Norman at Hastings； and bled at a
variety of other places that will readily occur to you； demands that its
birthright shall not be bartered away for a mess of pottage。 Have a care；
sir； have a care！ Or Tattlesnivel （its idle Rifles piled in its scouted streets）
may be seen ere long； advancing with its Bleater to the foot of the Throne；
and demanding redress for this conspiracy； from the orbed and sceptred
hands of Majesty itself！
THE YOUNG MAN FROM THE COUNTRY
A song of the hour； now in course of being sung and whistled in every
street； the other day reminded the writer of these wordsas he chanced to
pass a fag…end of the song for the twentieth time in a short London walk
that twenty years ago； a little book on the United States； entitled American
Notes； was published by 〃a Young Man from the Country〃； who had just
seen and left it。
This Young Man from the Country fell into a deal of trouble； by reason
of having taken the liberty to believe that he perceived in America
downward popular tendencies for which his young enthusiasm had been
anything but prepared。 It was in vain for the Young Man to offer in
extenuation of his belief that no stranger could have set foot on those
shores with a feeling of livelier interest in the country； and stronger faith in
it； than he。 Those were the days when the Tories had made their
Ashburton Treaty； and when Whigs and Radicals must have no theory
disturbed。 All three parties waylaid and mauled the Young Man from the
Country； and showed that he knew nothing about the country。
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As the Young Man from the Country had observed in the Preface to his
little book； that he 〃could bide his time〃； he took all this in silent part for
eight years。 Publishing then； a cheap edition of his book； he made no
stronger protest than the following：
〃My readers have opportunities of judging for themselves whether
the influences and tendencies which I distrusted in America； have any
existence but in my imagination。 They can examine for themselves
whether there has been anything in the public career of that country during
these past eight years； or whether there is anything in its present position；
at home or abroad； which suggests that those influences and tendencies
really do exist。 As they find the fact； they will judge me。 If they
discern any evidences of wrong…going； in any direction that I have
indicated； they will acknowledge that I had reason in what I wrote。 If
they discern no such thing； they will consider me altogether mistaken。 I
have nothing to defend； or to explain away。 The truth is the truth； and
neither childish absurdities； nor unscrupulous contradictions； can make it
otherwise。 The earth would still move round the sun； though the whole
Catholic Church said No。〃
Twelve more years having since passed away； it may now； at last； be
simply just towards the Young Man from the Country； to compare what he
originally wrote； with recent events and their plain motive powers。
Treating of the House of Representatives at Washington； he wrote thus：
〃Did I recognise in this assembly； a body of men； who； applying
themselves in a new world to correct some of the falsehoods and vices of
the old； purified the avenues to Public Life； paved the dirty ways to Place
and Power； debated and made laws for the Common Good； and had no
party but their Country？
〃I saw in them； the wheels that move the meanest perversion of
virtuous Political Machinery that the worst tools ever wrought。 Despicable
trickery at elections； under…handed tamperings with public officers；
cowardly attacks upon opponents； with scurrilous newspapers for shields；
and hired pens for daggers； shameful trucklings to mercenary knaves；
whose claim to be considered； is； that every day and week they sow new
crops of r