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the notch on the ax and on being found out-第70章

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doorway。  Then; continuing my way; I rapidly descended the steps
and remounted my horse; glad to find myself once again in the open
air and by my cousin's side。

The train of thought into which he had sunk during my absence was
apparently an absorbing one; for to my first question as to the
painted board he could hardly rouse himself to answer。

〃A board with a legend written on it?  Yes; he remembered something
of the kind there。  It had always been there; he thought。  He knew
nothing about it;〃and so the subject was not continued。

The weird feelings which had haunted me in the tower still
oppressed me; and I proceeded to ask Alan about that old Dame Alice
whom the traditions of my childhood represented as the last
occupant of the ruined building。  Alan roused himself now; but did
not seem anxious to impart information on the subject。  She had
lived there; he admitted; and no one had lived there since。  〃Had
she not;〃 I inquired; 〃something to do with the mysterious cabinet
at the house?  I remember hearing it spoken of as 'Dame Alice's
cabinet。'

〃So they say;〃 he assented; 〃she and an Italian artificer who was
in her service; and who; chiefly I imagine on account of his skill;
shared with her the honor of reputed witchcraft。〃

〃She was the mother of Hugh Mervyn; the man who was murdered by his
wife; was she not?〃 I asked。

〃Yes;〃 said Alan; briefly。

〃And had she not something to do with the curse?〃  I inquired after
a short pause; and nervously I remembered my father's experience on
that subject; and I had never before dared to allude to it in the
presence of any member of the family。  My nervousness was fully
warranted。  The gloom on Alan's brow deepened; and after a very
short 〃They say so〃 he turned full upon me; and inquired with some
asperity why on earth I had developed this sudden curiosity about
his ancestress。

I hesitated a moment; for I was a little ashamed of my fancies; but
the darkness gave me courage; and besides I was not afraid of
telling Alanhe would understand。  I told him of the strange
sensations I had had while in the towersensations which had
struck me with all that force and clearness which we usually
associate with a direct experience of fact。  〃Of course it was a
trick of imagination;〃 I commented; 〃but I could not get rid of the
feeling that the person who had dwelt there last must have had
terrible thoughts for the companions of her life。〃

Alan listened in silence; and the silence continued for some time
after I had ceased speaking。

〃It is strange;〃 he said at last; 〃instincts which we do not
understand form the motive…power of most of our life's actions; and
yet we refuse to admit them as evidence of any external truth。  I
suppose it is because we MUST act somehow; rightly or wrongly; and
there are a great many things which we need not believe unless we
choose。  As for this old lady; she lived longlong enough; like
most of us; to do evil; unlike most of us; long enough to witness
some of the results of that evil。  To say that; is to say that the
last years of her life must have been weighted heavily enough with
tragic thought。〃

I gave a little shudder of repulsion。

〃That is a depressing view of life; Alan;〃 I said。  〃Does our peace
of mind depend only upon death coming early enough to hide from us
the truth?  And; after all; can it?  Our spirits do not die。  From
another world they may witness the fruits of our lives in this
one。〃

〃If they do;〃 he answered with sudden violence; 〃it is absurd to
doubt the existence of a purgatory。  There must in such a case be a
terrible one in store for the best among us。〃

I was silent。  The shadow that lay on his soul did not penetrate to
mine; but it hung round me nevertheless; a cloud which I felt
powerless to disperse。

After a moment he went on;〃Provided that they are distant enough;
how little; after all; do we think of the results of our actions!
There are few men who would deliberately instill into a child a
love of drink; or wilfully deprive him of his reason; and yet a man
with drunkenness or madness in his blood thinks nothing of bringing
children into the world tainted as deeply with the curse as if he
had inoculated them with it directly。  There is no responsibility
so completely ignored as this one of marriage and fatherhood; and
yet how heavy it is and far…reaching。〃

〃Well;〃 I said; smiling; 〃let us console ourselves with the thought
that we are not all lunatics and drunkards。〃

〃No;〃 he answered; 〃but there are other evils besides these; moral
taints as well as physical; curses which have their roots in worlds
beyond our own;sins of the fathers which are visited upon the
children。〃

He had lost all violence and bitterness of tone now; but the weary
dejection which had taken their place communicated itself to my
spirit with more subtle power than his previous mood had owned。

〃That is why;〃 he went on; and his manner seemed to give more
purpose to his speech than hitherto;〃that is why; so far as I am
concerned; I mean to shirk the responsibility and remain
unmarried。〃

I was hardly surprised at his words。  I felt that I had expected
them; but their utterance seemed to intensify the gloom which
rested upon us。  Alan was the first to arouse himself from its
influence。

〃After all;〃 he said; turning round to me and speaking lightly;
〃without looking so far and so deep; I think my resolve is a
prudent one。  Above all things; let us take life easily; and you
know what St。 Paul says about 'trouble in the flesh;'a remark
which I am sure is specially applicable to briefless barristers;
even though possessed of a modest competence of their own。  Perhaps
one of these days; when I am a fat old judge; I shall give my cook
a chance if she is satisfactory in her clear soups; but till then I
shall expect you; Evie; to work me one pair of carpet…slippers per
annum; as tribute due to a bachelor cousin。〃

I don't quite know what I answered;my heart was heavy and
aching;but I tried with true feminine docility to follow the lead
he had set me。  He continued for some time in the same vein; but as
we approached the house the effort seemed to become too much for
him; and we relapsed again into silence。

This time I was the first to break it。  〃I suppose;〃 I said;
drearily; 〃all those horrid people will have come by now。〃

〃Horrid people;〃 he repeated; with rather an uncertain laugh; and
through the darkness I saw his figure bend forward as he stretched
out his hand to caress my horse's neck。  〃Why; Evie; I thought you
were pining for gayety; and that it was; in fact; for the purpose
of meeting these 'horrid people' that you came here。〃

〃Yes; I know;〃 I said; wistfully; 〃but somehow the last week has
been so pleasant that I cannot believe that anything will ever be
quite so nice again。〃

We had arrived at the house as I spoke; and the groom was standing
at our horses' heads。  Alan got off and came round to help me to
dismount; but instead of putting up his arm as usual as a support
for me to spring from; he laid his hand on mine。  〃Yes; Evie;〃 he
said; 〃it has been indeed a pleasant time。  God bless you for it。〃
For an instant he stood there looking up at me; his face full in
the light which streamed from the open door; his gray eyes shining
with a radiance which was not wholly from thence。  Then he
straightened his arm; I sprang to the ground; and as if to preclude
the possibility of any answer on my part; he turned sharply on his
heel; and began giving some orders to the groom。  I went on alone
into the house; feeling; I knew not and cared not to know why; that
the gloom had fled from my spirit; and that the last ride had not
after all been such a melancholy failure as it had bid fair at one
time to become。


III


In the hall I was met by the housekeeper; who informed me that;
owing to a misunderstanding about dates; a gentleman had arrived
whom Lucy had not expected at that time; and that in consequence my
room had been changed。  My things had been put into the East Room;
the haunted room;the room of the Closed Cabinet; as I remembered
with a certain sense of pleased importance; though without any
surprise。  It stood apart from the other guest…rooms; at the end of
the passage from which opened George and Lucy's private apartment;
and as it was consequently disagreeable to have a stranger there;
it was always used when the house was full for a member of the
family。  My father and mother had often slept there: there was a
little room next to it; though not communicating with it; which
served for a dressing…room。  Though I had never passed the night
there myself; I knew it as well as any room in the house。  I went
there at once; and found Lucy superintending the last arrangements
for my comfort。

She was full of apologies for the trouble she was giving me。  I
told her that the apologies were due to my maid and to her own
servants rather than to me; 〃and besides;〃 I added; glancing round;
〃I am distinctly a gainer by the change。〃

〃You know; of course;〃 she said; lightly; 〃that this is the haunted
room of the house; and that you have no right to be here?〃

〃I know it is the haunted room;〃 
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