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it in some sort serves me for a rule。 I have； at times； some
consideration of not betraying the history of my life： this public
declaration obliges me to keep my way； and not to give the lie to the
image I have drawn of my qualities； commonly less deformed and
contradictory than consists with the malignity and infirmity of the
judgments of this age。 The uniformity and simplicity of my manners
produce a face of easy interpretation； but because the fashion is a
little new and not in use； it gives too great opportunity to slander。
Yet so it is； that whoever would fairly assail me； I think I so
sufficiently assist his purpose in my known and avowed imperfections；
that he may that way satisfy his ill…nature without fighting with the
wind。 If I myself； to anticipate accusation and discovery； confess
enough to frustrate his malice； as he conceives； 'tis but reason that he
make use of his right of amplification； and to wire…draw my vices as far
as he can； attack has its rights beyond justice； and let him make the
roots of those errors I have laid open to him shoot up into trees： let
him make his use； not only of those I am really affected with； but also
of those that only threaten me； injurious vices； both in quality and
number； let him cudgel me that way。 I should willingly follow the
example of the philosopher Bion： Antigonus being about to reproach him
with the meanness of his birth； he presently cut him short with this
declaration： 〃I am；〃 said he； 〃the son of a slave； a butcher； and
branded； and of a strumpet my father married in the lowest of his
fortune； both of them were whipped for offences they had committed。 An
orator bought me； when a child； and finding me a pretty and hopeful boy；
bred me up； and when he died left me all his estate； which I have
transported into this city of Athens； and here settled myself to the
study of philosophy。 Let the historians never trouble themselves with
inquiring about me： I will tell them about it。〃 A free and generous
confession enervates reproach and disarms slander。 So it is that； one
thing with another； I fancy men as often commend as undervalue me beyond
reason； as； methinks also； from my childhood； in rank and degree of
honour； they have given me a place rather above than below my right。
I should find myself more at ease in a country where these degrees were
either regulated or not regarded。 Amongst men； when an altercation about
the precedence either of walking or sitting exceeds three replies； 'tis
reputed uncivil。 I never stick at giving or taking place out of rule； to
avoid the trouble of such ceremony； and never any man had a mind to go
before me； but I permitted him to do it。
Besides this profit I make of writing of myself； I have also hoped for
this other advantage； that if it should fall out that my humour should
please or jump with those of some honest man before I die； he would then
desire and seek to be acquainted with me。 I have given him a great deal
of made…way； for all that he could have； in many years； acquired by close
familiarity； he has seen in three days in this memorial； and more surely
and exactly。 A pleasant fancy： many things that I would not confess to
any one in particular； I deliver to the public； and send my best friends
to a bookseller's shop； there to inform themselves concerning my most
secret thoughts；
〃Excutienda damus praecordia。〃
＇〃We give our hearts to be examined。〃Persius； V。 22。＇
Did I； by good direction； know where to seek any one proper for my
conversation； I should certainly go a great way to find him out： for the
sweetness of suitable and agreeable company cannot； in my opinion； be
bought too dear。 O what a thing is a true friend！ how true is that old
saying； that the use of a friend is more pleasing and necessary than the
elements of water and fire！
To return to my subject： there is； then； no great harm in dying privately
and far from home； we conceive ourselves obliged to retire for natural
actions less unseemly and less terrible than this。 But； moreover； such
as are reduced to spin out a long languishing life； ought not； perhaps；
to wish to trouble a great family with their continual miseries；
therefore the Indians； in a certain province； thought it just to knock a
man on the head when reduced to such a necessity； and in another of their
provinces； they all forsook him to shift for himself as well as he could。
To whom do they not； at last； become tedious and insupportable？ the
ordinary offices of fife do not go that length。 You teach your best
friends to be cruel perforce； hardening wife and children by long use
neither to regard nor to lament your sufferings。 The groans of the stone
are grown so familiar to my people； that nobody takes any notice of them。
And though we should extract some pleasure from their conversation （which
does not always happen； by reason of the disparity of conditions； which
easily begets contempt or envy toward any one whatever）； is it not too
much to make abuse of this half a lifetime？ The more I should see them
constrain themselves out of affection to be serviceable to me； the more I
should be sorry for their pains。 We have liberty to lean； but not to lay
our whole weight upon others； so as to prop ourselves by their ruin； like
him who caused little children's throats to be cut to make use of their
blood for the cure of a disease he had； or that other； who was
continually supplied with tender young girls to keep his old limbs warm
in the night； and to mix the sweetness of their breath with his； sour and
stinking。 I should readily advise Venice as a retreat in this decline of
life。 Decrepitude is a solitary quality。 I am sociable even to excess；
yet I think it reasonable that I should now withdraw my troubles from the
sight of the world and keep them to myself。 Let me shrink and draw up
myself in my own shell； like a tortoise； and learn to see men without
hanging upon them。 I should endanger them in so slippery a passage： 'tis
time to turn my back to company。
〃But； in these travels； you will be taken ill in some wretched place；
where nothing can be had to relieve you。〃 I always carry most things
necessary about me； and besides； we cannot evade Fortune if she once
resolves to attack us。 I need nothing extraordinary when I am sick。
I will not be beholden to my bolus to do that for me which nature cannot。
At the very beginning of my fevers and sicknesses that cast me down；
whilst still entire； and but little； disordered in health； I reconcile
myself to Almighty God by the last Christian； offices； and find myself by
so doing less oppressed and more easy； and have got； methinks； so much
the better of my disease。 And I have yet less need of a notary or
counsellor than of a physician。 What I have not settled of my affairs
when I was in health； let no one expect I should do it when I am sick。
What I will do for the service of death is always done； I durst not so
much as one day defer it； and if nothing be done； 'tis as much as to say
either that doubt hindered my choice （and sometimes 'tis well chosen not
to choose）； or that I was positively resolved not to do anything at all。
I write my book for few men and for few years。 Had it been matter of
duration； I should have put it into firmer language。 According to the
continual variation that ours has been subject to； up to this day； who
can expect that its present form should be in use fifty years hence？
It slips every day through our fingers； and since I was born； it is
altered above one…half。 We say that it is now perfect； and every age
says the same of its own。 I shall hardly trust to that； so long as it
varies and changes as it does。 'Tis for good and useful writings to
rivet it to them； and its reputation will go according to the fortune of
our state。 For which reason I am not afraid to insert in it several
private articles； which will spend their use amongst the men that are now
living； and that concern the particular knowledge of some who will see
further into them than every common reader。 I will not； after all； as I
often hear dead men spoken of； that men should say of me： 〃He judged； he
lived so and so； he would have done this or that； could he have spoken
when he was dying； he would have said so or so； and have given this thing
or t'other； I knew him better than any。〃 Now； as much as decency
permits； I here discover my inclinations and affections； but I do more
willingly and freely by word of mouth to any one who desires to be
informed。 So it is that in these memoirs； if any one observe； he will
find that I have either told or designed to tell all； what I cannot
express； I point out with my finger：
〃Verum animo satis haec vestigia parva sagaci
Sunt； per quae possis cognoscere caetera tute〃
＇〃By these footsteps a sagacious mind many easily find all other
matters （are sufficient to enable one to learn the rest well。）〃
Lucretius； i。 403。＇
I leave nothing to be desired or to be guessed at concerning me。 If
people must be talking of me； I would have it to be justly and truly； I
would come again； with all my heart； from the other