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or my own： for what if I were another kind of man？ If my deportment； and
the frankness of my conversation or relationship； oblige my neighbours；
'tis that that they should acquit themselves of obligation in only
permitting me to live； and they may say； 〃We allow him the free liberty
of having divine service read in his own private chapel； when it is
interdicted in all churches round about； and allow him the use of his
goods and his life； as one who protects our wives and cattle in time of
need。〃 For my house has for many descents shared in the reputation of
Lycurgus the Athenian； who was the general depository and guardian of the
purses of his fellow…citizens。 Now I am clearly of opinion that a man
should live by right and by authority； and not either by recompense or
favour。 How many gallant men have rather chosen to lose their lives than
to be debtors for them？ I hate to subject myself to any sort of
obligation； but above all； to that which binds me by the duty of honour。
I think nothing so dear as what has been given me； and this because my
will lies at pawn under the title of gratitude； and more willingly accept
of services that are to be sold； I feel that for the last I give nothing
but money； but for the other I give myself。
The knot that binds me by the laws of courtesy binds me more than that of
civil constraint； I am much more at ease when bound by a scrivener； than
by myself。 Is it not reason that my conscience should be much more
engaged when men simply rely upon it？ In a bond； my faith owes nothing；
because it has nothing lent it； let them trust to the security they have
taken without me。 I had much rather break the wall of a prison and the
laws themselves than my own word。 I am nice； even to superstition； in
keeping my promises； and； therefore； upon all occasions have a care to
make them uncertain and conditional。 To those of no great moment； I add
the jealousy of my own rule； to make them weight； it wracks and oppresses
me with its own interest。 Even in actions wholly my own and free； if I
once say a thing； I conceive that I have bound myself； and that
delivering it to the knowledge of another； I have positively enjoined it
my own performance。 Methinks I promise it； if I but say it： and
therefore am not apt to say much of that kind。 The sentence that I pass
upon myself is more severe than that of a judge； who only considers the
common obligation； but my conscience looks upon it with a more severe and
penetrating eye。 I lag in those duties to which I should be compelled if
I did not go：
〃Hoc ipsum ita justum est； quod recte fit； si est voluntarium。〃
＇〃This itself is so far just； that it is rightly done； if it is
voluntary。〃Cicero； De Offic。； i。 9。＇
If the action has not some splendour of liberty； it has neither grace nor
honour：
〃Quod vos jus cogit； vix voluntate impetrent：〃
＇〃That which the laws compel us to do； we scarcely do with a will。〃
Terence； Adelph。； iii。 3； 44。
where necessity draws me； I love to let my will take its own course：
〃Quia quicquid imperio cogitur； exigenti magis；
quam praestanti； acceptum refertur。〃
＇〃For whatever is compelled by power； is more imputed to him that
exacts than to him that performs。〃Valerius Maximus； ii。 2； 6。＇
I know some who follow this rule； even to injustice； who will sooner give
than restore； sooner lend than pay； and will do them the least good to
whom they are most obliged。 I don't go so far as that； but I'm not far
off。
I so much love to disengage and disobligate myself； that I have sometimes
looked upon ingratitudes； affronts； and indignities which I have received
from those to whom either by nature or accident I was bound in some way
of friendship； as an advantage to me； taking this occasion of their ill…
usage； for an acquaintance and discharge of so much of my debt。 And
though I still continue to pay them all the external offices of public
reason； I； notwithstanding； find a great saving in doing that upon the
account of justice which I did upon the score of affection； and am a
little eased of the attention and solicitude of my inward will：
〃Est prudentis sustinere； ut currum； sic impetum benevolentia；〃
＇〃'Tis the part of a wise man to keep a curbing hand upon the
impetus of friendship； as upon that of his horse。〃
Cicero； De Amicit。； c。 17。＇
'tis in me； too urging and pressing where I take； at least； for a man who
loves not to be strained at all。 And this husbanding my friendship
serves me for a sort of consolation in the imperfections of those in whom
I am concerned。 I am very sorry they are not such as I could wish they
were； but then I also am spared somewhat of my application and engagement
towards them。 I approve of a man who is the less fond of his child for
having a scald head； or for being crooked； and not only when he is ill…
conditioned； but also when he is of unhappy disposition； and imperfect in
his limbs （God himself has abated so much from his value and natural
estimation）； provided he carry himself in this coldness of affection with
moderation and exact justice： proximity； with me； lessens not defects；
but rather aggravates them。
After all； according to what I understand in the science of benefit and
acknowledgment； which is a subtle science； and of great use； I know no
person whatever more free and less indebted than I am at this hour。 What
I do owe is simply to foreign obligations and benefits； as to anything
else； no man is more absolutely clear：
〃Nec sunt mihi nota potentum
Munera。〃
＇〃The gifts of great men are unknown to me。〃AEneid； xii。 529。＇
Princes give me a great deal if they take nothing from me； and do me good
enough if they do me no harm； that's all I ask from them。 O how am I
obliged to God； that he has been pleased I should immediately receive
from his bounty all I have； and specially reserved all my obligation to
himself。 How earnestly do I beg of his holy compassion that I may never
owe essential thanks to any one。 O happy liberty wherein I have thus far
lived。 May it continue with me to the last。 I endeavour to have no
express need of any one：
〃In me omnis spec est mihi。〃
＇〃All my hope is in myself。〃Terence； Adelph。； iii。 5； 9。＇
'Tis what every one may do in himself； but more easily they whom God has
placed in a condition exempt from natural and urgent necessities。 It is
a wretched and dangerous thing to depend upon others； we ourselves； in
whom is ever the most just and safest dependence； are not sufficiently
sure。
I have nothing mine but myself； and yet the possession is； in part；
defective and borrowed。 I fortify myself both in courage； which is the
strongest assistant； and also in fortune； therein wherewith to satisfy
myself； though everything else should forsake me。 Hippias of Elis not
only furnished himself with knowledge； that he might； at need； cheerfully
retire from all other company to enjoy the Muses： nor only with the
knowledge of philosophy； to teach his soul to be contented with itself；
and bravely to subsist without outward conveniences； when fate would have
it so； he was； moreover； so careful as to learn to cook； to shave
himself； to make his own clothes； his own shoes and drawers； to provide
for all his necessities in himself； and to wean himself from the
assistance of others。 A man more freely and cheerfully enjoys borrowed
conveniences； when it is not an enjoyment forced and constrained by need；
and when he has； in his own will and fortune； the means to live without
them。 I know myself very well； but 'tis hard for me to imagine any so
pure liberality of any one towards me； any so frank and free hospitality；
that would not appear to me discreditable； tyrannical； and tainted with
reproach； if necessity had reduced me to it。 As giving is an ambitious
and authoritative quality； so is accepting a quality of submission；
witness the insulting and quarrelsome refusal that Bajazet made of the
presents that Tamerlane sent him； and those that were offered on the part
of the Emperor Solyman to the Emperor of Calicut； so angered him； that he
not only rudely rejected them； saying that neither he nor any of his
predecessors had ever been wont to take； and that it was their office to
give； but； moreover； caused the ambassadors sent with the gifts to be put
into a dungeon。 When Thetis； says Aristotle； flatters Jupiter； when the
Lacedaemonians flatter the Athenians； they do not put them in mind of the
good they have done them； which is always odious； but of the benefits
they have received from them。 Such as I see so frequently employ every
one in their affairs； and thrust themselves into so much obligation；
would never do it； did they but relish as I do the sweetness of a pure
liberty； and did they but weigh； as wise： men should； the burden of
obligation： 'tis sometimes； peradventure； fully paid； but 'tis never
dissolved。 'Tis a miserable slavery to a man who loves to be at full
liberty in all reapects。 Such as know me； both above and below me in
station； are able to say whether the