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slave； at the rate of fivepence a line。
〃Perhaps Moses； Sylla； Louis XI。； Richelieu； Robespierre； and Napoleon
were but the same man who crosses our civilizations now and again；
like a comet across the sky；〃 said a disciple of Ballanche。
〃Why try to fathom the designs of Providence？〃 said Canalis； maker of
ballads。
〃Come； now；〃 said the man who set up for a critic； 〃there is nothing
more elastic in the world than your Providence。〃
〃Well； sir； Louis XIV。 sacrificed more lives over digging the
foundations of the Maintenon's aqueducts； than the Convention expended
in order to assess the taxes justly； to make one law for everybody；
and one nation of France； and to establish the rule of equal
inheritance；〃 said Massol； whom the lack of a syllable before his name
had made a Republican。
〃Are you going to leave our heads on our shoulders？〃 asked Moreau （of
the Oise）； a substantial farmer。 〃You； sir； who took blood for wine
just now？〃
〃Where is the use？ Aren't the principles of social order worth some
sacrifices； sir？〃
〃Hi！ Bixiou！ What's…his…name； the Republican； considers a landowner's
head a sacrifice！〃 said a young man to his neighbor。
〃Men and events count for nothing；〃 said the Republican； following out
his theory in spite of hiccoughs； 〃in politics； as in philosophy；
there are only principles and ideas。〃
〃What an abomination！ Then you would ruthlessly put your friends to
death for a shibboleth？〃
〃Eh； sir！ the man who feels compunction is your thorough scoundrel；
for he has some notion of virtue； while Peter the Great and the Duke
of Alva were embodied systems； and the pirate Monbard an
organization。〃
〃But can't society rid itself of your systems and organizations？〃 said
Canalis。
〃Oh； granted！〃 cried the Republican。
〃That stupid Republic of yours makes me feel queasy。 We sha'n't be
able to carve a capon in peace； because we shall find the agrarian law
inside it。〃
〃Ah； my little Brutus； stuffed with truffles； your principles are all
right enough。 But you are like my valet； the rogue is so frightfully
possessed with a mania for property that if I left him to clean my
clothes after his fashion； he would soon clean me out。〃
〃Crass idiots！〃 replied the Republican； 〃you are for setting a nation
straight with toothpicks。 To your way of thinking； justice is more
dangerous than thieves。〃
〃Oh； dear！〃 cried the attorney Deroches。
〃Aren't they a bore with their politics！〃 said the notary Cardot。
〃Shut up。 That's enough of it。 There is no knowledge nor virtue worth
shedding a drop of blood for。 If Truth were brought into liquidation；
we might find her insolvent。〃
〃It would be much less trouble； no doubt； to amuse ourselves with
evil； rather than dispute about good。 Moreover； I would give all the
speeches made for forty years past at the Tribune for a trout； for one
of Perrault's tales or Charlet's sketches。〃
〃Quite right！ 。 。 。 Hand me the asparagus。 Because； after all； liberty
begets anarchy； anarchy leads to despotism； and despotism back again
to liberty。 Millions have died without securing a triumph for any one
system。 Is not that the vicious circle in which the whole moral world
revolves？ Man believes that he has reached perfection； when in fact he
has but rearranged matters。〃
〃Oh！ oh！〃 cried Cursy； the vaudevilliste； 〃in that case； gentlemen；
here's to Charles X。； the father of liberty。〃
〃Why not？〃 asked Emile。 〃When law becomes despotic； morals are
relaxed； and vice versa。
〃Let us drink to the imbecility of authority； which gives us such an
authority over imbeciles！〃 said the good banker。
〃Napoleon left us glory； at any rate； my good friend！〃 exclaimed a
naval officer who had never left Brest。
〃Glory is a poor bargain； you buy it dear； and it will not keep。 Does
not the egotism of the great take the form of glory； just as for
nobodies it is their own well…being？〃
〃You are very fortunate； sir〃
〃The first inventor of ditches must have been a weakling； for society
is only useful to the puny。 The savage and the philosopher； at either
extreme of the moral scale； hold property in equal horror。〃
〃All very fine！〃 said Cardot； 〃but if there were no property； there
would be no documents to draw up。〃
〃These green peas are excessively delicious！〃
〃And the cure was found dead in his bed in the morning。 。 。 。〃
〃Who is talking about death？ Pray don't trifle； I have an uncle。〃
〃Could you bear his loss with resignation？〃
〃No question。〃
〃Gentlemen； listen to me！ HOW TO KILL AN UNCLE。 Silence！ （Cries of
〃Hush！ hush！〃） In the first place； take an uncle； large and stout；
seventy years old at least； they are the best uncles。 （Sensation。） Get
him to eat a pate de foie gras； any pretext will do。〃
〃Ah； but my uncle is a thin； tall man； and very niggardly and
abstemious。〃
〃That sort of uncle is a monster； he misappropriates existence。〃
〃Then；〃 the speaker on uncles went on； 〃tell him； while he is
digesting it； that his banker has failed。〃
〃How if he bears up？〃
〃Let loose a pretty girl on him。〃
〃And if？〃 asked the other； with a shake of the head。
〃Then he wouldn't be an unclean uncle is a gay dog by nature。〃
〃Malibran has lost two notes in her voice。〃
〃No； sir； she has not。〃
〃Yes； sir； she has。〃
〃Oh； ho！ No and yes； is not that the sum…up of all religious；
political； or literary dissertations？ Man is a clown dancing on the
edge of an abyss。〃
〃You would make out that I am a fool。〃
〃On the contrary； you cannot make me out。〃
〃Education； there's a pretty piece of tomfoolery。 M。 Heineffettermach
estimates the number of printed volumes at more than a thousand
millions； and a man cannot read more than a hundred and fifty thousand
in his lifetime。 So； just tell me what that word education means。 For
some it consists in knowing the name of Alexander's horse； of the dog
Berecillo； of the Seigneur d'Accords； and in ignorance of the man to
whom we owe the discovery of rafting and the manufacture of porcelain。
For others it is the knowledge how to burn a will and live respected；
be looked up to and popular； instead of stealing a watch with half…a…
dozen aggravating circumstances； after a previous conviction； and so
perishing； hated and dishonored； in the Place de Greve。〃
〃Will Nathan's work live？〃
〃He has very clever collaborators； sir。〃
〃Or Canalis？〃
〃He is a great man； let us say no more about him。〃
〃You are all drunk！〃
〃The consequence of a Constitution is the immediate stultification of
intellects。 Art； science； public works； everything； is consumed by a
horribly egoistic feeling； the leprosy of the time。 Three hundred of
your bourgeoisie； set down on benches； will only think of planting
poplars。 Tyranny does great things lawlessly； while Liberty will
scarcely trouble herself to do petty ones lawfully。〃
〃Your reciprocal instruction will turn out counters in human flesh；〃
broke in an Absolutist。 〃All individuality will disappear in a people
brought to a dead level by education。〃
〃For all that； is not the aim of society to secure happiness to each
member of it？〃 asked the Saint…Simonian。
〃If you had an income of fifty thousand livres； you would not think
much about the people。 If you are smitten with a tender passion for
the race； go to Madagascar； there you will find a nice little nation
all ready to Saint…Simonize； classify； and cork up in your phials； but
here every one fits into his niche like a peg in a hole。 A porter is a
porter； and a blockhead is a fool； without a college of fathers to
promote them to those positions。〃
〃You are a Carlist。〃
〃And why not？ Despotism pleases me； it implies a certain contempt for
the human race。 I have no animosity against kings； they are so
amusing。 Is it nothing to sit enthroned in a room； at a distance of
thirty million leagues from the sun？〃
〃Let us once more take a broad view of civilization；〃 said the man of
learning who； for the benefit of the inattentive sculptor； had opened
a discussion on primitive society and autochthonous races。 〃The vigor
of a nation in its origin was in a way physical； unitary； and crude；
then as aggregations increased； government advanced by a decomposition
of the primitive rule； more or less skilfully managed。 For example； in
remote ages national strength lay in theocracy； the priest held both
sword and censer； a little later there were two priests； the pontiff
and the king。 To…day our society； the latest word of civilization； has
distributed power according to the number of combinations； and we come
to the forces called business； thought； money； and eloquence。
Authority thus divided is steadily approaching a social dissolution；
with interest as its one opposing barrier。 We depend no longer on
either religion or physical force； but upon intellect。 Can a book
replace the sword？ Can discussion be a substitute for action？ That is
the question。〃
〃Intellect has made an end of everything；〃 cried the Carlist。 〃Come
now！ Absolute freedom has brought about national suicides； their
triumph left them as listless as an English millionaire。〃
〃Won't you tell us something new？ You have made fun of authority of
all sorts to…day； which is every bit as vulga