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immeasurable superiority； and intense remarkability of our account
of its proceedings。 In redemption of this pledge； we caused to be
despatched per steam to Oldcastle （at which place this second
meeting of the Society was held on the 20th instant）； the same
superhumanly…endowed gentleman who furnished the former report； and
who； … gifted by nature with transcendent abilities； and furnished
by us with a body of assistants scarcely inferior to himself； … has
forwarded a series of letters； which； for faithfulness of
description； power of language； fervour of thought； happiness of
expression； and importance of subject…matter； have no equal in the
epistolary literature of any age or country。 We give this
gentleman's correspondence entire； and in the order in which it
reached our office。
'SALOON OF STEAMER； THURSDAY NIGHT； HALF…PAST EIGHT。
'When I left New Burlington Street this evening in the hackney
cabriolet； number four thousand two hundred and eighty…five； I
experienced sensations as novel as they were oppressive。 A sense
of the importance of the task I had undertaken； a consciousness
that I was leaving London； and； stranger still； going somewhere
else； a feeling of loneliness and a sensation of jolting； quite
bewildered my thoughts； and for a time rendered me even insensible
to the presence of my carpet…bag and hat…box。 I shall ever feel
grateful to the driver of a Blackwall omnibus who； by thrusting the
pole of his vehicle through the small door of the cabriolet；
awakened me from a tumult of imaginings that are wholly
indescribable。 But of such materials is our imperfect nature
composed！
'I am happy to say that I am the first passenger on board； and
shall thus be enabled to give you an account of all that happens in
the order of its occurrence。 The chimney is smoking a good deal；
and so are the crew； and the captain； I am informed； is very drunk
in a little house upon deck； something like a black turnpike。 I
should infer from all I hear that he has got the steam up。
'You will readily guess with what feelings I have just made the
discovery that my berth is in the same closet with those engaged by
Professor Woodensconce； Mr。 Slug； and Professor Grime。 Professor
Woodensconce has taken the shelf above me； and Mr。 Slug and
Professor Grime the two shelves opposite。 Their luggage has
already arrived。 On Mr。 Slug's bed is a long tin tube of about
three inches in diameter； carefully closed at both ends。 What can
this contain？ Some powerful instrument of a new construction；
doubtless。'
'TEN MINUTES PAST NINE。
'Nobody has yet arrived； nor has anything fresh come in my way
except several joints of beef and mutton； from which I conclude
that a good plain dinner has been provided for to…morrow。 There is
a singular smell below； which gave me some uneasiness at first； but
as the steward says it is always there； and never goes away； I am
quite comfortable again。 I learn from this man that the different
sections will be distributed at the Black Boy and Stomach…ache； and
the Boot…jack and Countenance。 If this intelligence be true （and I
have no reason to doubt it）； your readers will draw such
conclusions as their different opinions may suggest。
'I write down these remarks as they occur to me； or as the facts
come to my knowledge； in order that my first impressions may lose
nothing of their original vividness。 I shall despatch them in
small packets as opportunities arise。'
'HALF PAST NINE。
'Some dark object has just appeared upon the wharf。 I think it is
a travelling carriage。'
'A QUARTER TO TEN。
'No； it isn't。'
'HALF…PAST TEN。
The passengers are pouring in every instant。 Four omnibuses full
have just arrived upon the wharf； and all is bustle and activity。
The noise and confusion are very great。 Cloths are laid in the
cabins； and the steward is placing blue plates … full of knobs of
cheese at equal distances down the centre of the tables。 He drops
a great many knobs； but； being used to it； picks them up again with
great dexterity； and； after wiping them on his sleeve； throws them
back into the plates。 He is a young man of exceedingly
prepossessing appearance … either dirty or a mulatto； but I think
the former。
'An interesting old gentleman； who came to the wharf in an omnibus；
has just quarrelled violently with the porters； and is staggering
towards the vessel with a large trunk in his arms。 I trust and
hope that he may reach it in safety； but the board he has to cross
is narrow and slippery。 Was that a splash？ Gracious powers！
'I have just returned from the deck。 The trunk is standing upon
the extreme brink of the wharf； but the old gentleman is nowhere to
be seen。 The watchman is not sure whether he went down or not； but
promises to drag for him the first thing to…morrow morning。 May
his humane efforts prove successful！
'Professor Nogo has this moment arrived with his nightcap on under
his hat。 He has ordered a glass of cold brandy and water； with a
hard biscuit and a basin； and has gone straight to bed。 What can
this mean？
'The three other scientific gentlemen to whom I have already
alluded have come on board； and have all tried their beds； with the
exception of Professor Woodensconce； who sleeps in one of the top
ones； and can't get into it。 Mr。 Slug； who sleeps in the other top
one； is unable to get out of his； and is to have his supper handed
up by a boy。 I have had the honour to introduce myself to these
gentlemen； and we have amicably arranged the order in which we
shall retire to rest； which it is necessary to agree upon； because；
although the cabin is very comfortable； there is not room for more
than one gentleman to be out of bed at a time； and even he must
take his boots off in the passage。
'As I anticipated； the knobs of cheese were provided for the
passengers' supper； and are now in course of consumption。 Your
readers will be surprised to hear that Professor Woodensconce has
abstained from cheese for eight years； although he takes butter in
considerable quantities。 Professor Grime having lost several
teeth； is unable； I observe； to eat his crusts without previously
soaking them in his bottled porter。 How interesting are these
peculiarities！'
'HALF…PAST ELEVEN。
'Professors Woodensconce and Grime； with a degree of good humour
that delights us all； have just arranged to toss for a bottle of
mulled port。 There has been some discussion whether the payment
should be decided by the first toss or the best out of three。
Eventually the latter course has been determined on。 Deeply do I
wish that both gentlemen could win； but that being impossible； I
own that my personal aspirations （I speak as an individual； and do
not compromise either you or your readers by this expression of
feeling） are with Professor Woodensconce。 I have backed that
gentleman to the amount of eighteenpence。'
'TWENTY MINUTES TO TWELVE。
'Professor Grime has inadvertently tossed his half…crown out of one
of the cabin…windows； and it has been arranged that the steward
shall toss for him。 Bets are offered on any side to any amount；
but there are no takers。
'Professor Woodensconce has just called 〃woman；〃 but the coin
having lodged in a beam； is a long time coming down again。 The
interest and suspense of this one moment are beyond anything that
can be imagined。'
'TWELVE O'CLOCK。
'The mulled port is smoking on the table before me； and Professor
Grime has won。 Tossing is a game of chance； but on every ground；
whether of public or private character； intellectual endowments； or
scientific attainments； I cannot help expressing my opinion that
Professor Woodensconce OUGHT to have come off victorious。 There is
an exultation about Professor Grime incompatible； I fear； with true
greatness。'
'A QUARTER PAST TWELVE。
'Professor Grime continues to exult； and to boast of his victory in
no very measured terms； observing that he always does win； and that
he knew it would be a 〃head〃 beforehand； with many other remarks of
a similar nature。 Surely this gentleman is not so lost to every
feeling of decency and propriety as not to feel and know the
superiority of Professor Woodensconce？ Is Professor Grime insane？
or does he wish to be reminded in plain language of his true
position in society； and the precise level of his acquirements and
abilities？ Professor Grime will do well to look to this。'
'ONE O'CLOCK。
'I am writing in bed。 The small cabin is illuminated by the feeble
light of a flickering lamp suspended from the ceiling； Professor
Grime is lying on the opposite shelf on the broad of his back； with
his mouth wide open。 The scene is indescribably solemn。 The
rippling of the tide； the noise of the sailors' feet overhead； the
gruff voices on the river； the dogs on the shore； the snoring of
the passe