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the west end of the town on a sunshiny day or a summer's evening；
going through the last…named pantomimic feats with as much
liquorish energy； and as total an absence of reserve； as if they
were on the very stage itself？ We can tell upon our fingers a
dozen pantaloons of our acquaintance at this moment … capital
pantaloons； who have been performing all kinds of strange freaks；
to the great amusement of their friends and acquaintance； for years
past； and who to this day are making such comical and ineffectual
attempts to be young and dissolute； that all beholders are like to
die with laughter。
Take that old gentleman who has just emerged from the CAFE DE
L'EUROPE in the Haymarket； where he has been dining at the expense
of the young man upon town with whom he shakes hands as they part
at the door of the tavern。 The affected warmth of that shake of
the hand； the courteous nod； the obvious recollection of the
dinner； the savoury flavour of which still hangs upon his lips； are
all characteristics of his great prototype。 He hobbles away
humming an opera tune； and twirling his cane to and fro； with
affected carelessness。 Suddenly he stops … 'tis at the milliner's
window。 He peeps through one of the large panes of glass； and； his
view of the ladies within being obstructed by the India shawls；
directs his attentions to the young girl with the band…box in her
hand； who is gazing in at the window also。 See！ he draws beside
her。 He coughs； she turns away from him。 He draws near her again；
she disregards him。 He gleefully chucks her under the chin； and；
retreating a few steps； nods and beckons with fantastic grimaces；
while the girl bestows a contemptuous and supercilious look upon
his wrinkled visage。 She turns away with a flounce； and the old
gentleman trots after her with a toothless chuckle。 The pantaloon
to the life！
But the close resemblance which the clowns of the stage bear to
those of every…day life is perfectly extraordinary。 Some people
talk with a sigh of the decline of pantomime； and murmur in low and
dismal tones the name of Grimaldi。 We mean no disparagement to the
worthy and excellent old man when we say that this is downright
nonsense。 Clowns that beat Grimaldi all to nothing turn up every
day； and nobody patronizes them … more's the pity！
'I know who you mean；' says some dirty…faced patron of Mr。
Osbaldistone's； laying down the Miscellany when he has got thus
far； and bestowing upon vacancy a most knowing glance； 'you mean C。
J。 Smith as did Guy Fawkes； and George Barnwell at the Garden。'
The dirty…faced gentleman has hardly uttered the words； when he is
interrupted by a young gentleman in no shirt…collar and a Petersham
coat。 'No； no；' says the young gentleman； 'he means Brown； King；
and Gibson； at the 'Delphi。' Now； with great deference both to the
first…named gentleman with the dirty face； and the last…named
gentleman in the non…existing shirt…collar； we do NOT mean either
the performer who so grotesquely burlesqued the Popish conspirator；
or the three unchangeables who have been dancing the same dance
under different imposing titles； and doing the same thing under
various high…sounding names for some five or six years last past。
We have no sooner made this avowal； than the public； who have
hitherto been silent witnesses of the dispute； inquire what on
earth it is we DO mean； and； with becoming respect； we proceed to
tell them。
It is very well known to all playgoers and pantomime…seers； that
the scenes in which a theatrical clown is at the very height of his
glory are those which are described in the play…bills as
'Cheesemonger's shop and Crockery warehouse；' or 'Tailor's shop；
and Mrs。 Queertable's boarding…house；' or places bearing some such
title； where the great fun of the thing consists in the hero's
taking lodgings which he has not the slightest intention of paying
for； or obtaining goods under false pretences； or abstracting the
stock…in…trade of the respectable shopkeeper next door； or robbing
warehouse porters as they pass under his window； or； to shorten the
catalogue； in his swindling everybody he possibly can； it only
remaining to be observed that； the more extensive the swindling is；
and the more barefaced the impudence of the swindler； the greater
the rapture and ecstasy of the audience。 Now it is a most
remarkable fact that precisely this sort of thing occurs in real
life day after day； and nobody sees the humour of it。 Let us
illustrate our position by detailing the plot of this portion of
the pantomime … not of the theatre； but of life。
The Honourable Captain Fitz…Whisker Fiercy； attended by his livery
servant Do'em … a most respectable servant to look at； who has
grown grey in the service of the captain's family … views； treats
for； and ultimately obtains possession of； the unfurnished house；
such a number； such a street。 All the tradesmen in the
neighbourhood are in agonies of competition for the captain's
custom； the captain is a good…natured； kind…hearted； easy man； and；
to avoid being the cause of disappointment to any； he most
handsomely gives orders to all。 Hampers of wine； baskets of
provisions； cart…loads of furniture； boxes of jewellery； supplies
of luxuries of the costliest description； flock to the house of the
Honourable Captain Fitz…Whisker Fiercy； where they are received
with the utmost readiness by the highly respectable Do'em； while
the captain himself struts and swaggers about with that compound
air of conscious superiority and general blood…thirstiness which a
military captain should always； and does most times； wear； to the
admiration and terror of plebeian men。 But the tradesmen's backs
are no sooner turned； than the captain； with all the eccentricity
of a mighty mind； and assisted by the faithful Do'em； whose devoted
fidelity is not the least touching part of his character； disposes
of everything to great advantage； for； although the articles fetch
small sums； still they are sold considerably above cost price； the
cost to the captain having been nothing at all。 After various
manoeuvres； the imposture is discovered； Fitz…Fiercy and Do'em are
recognized as confederates； and the police office to which they are
both taken is thronged with their dupes。
Who can fail to recognize in this； the exact counterpart of the
best portion of a theatrical pantomime … Fitz…Whisker Fiercy by the
clown； Do'em by the pantaloon； and supernumeraries by the
tradesmen？ The best of the joke； too； is； that the very coal…
merchant who is loudest in his complaints against the person who
defrauded him； is the identical man who sat in the centre of the
very front row of the pit last night and laughed the most
boisterously at this very same thing； … and not so well done
either。 Talk of Grimaldi； we say again！ Did Grimaldi； in his best
days； ever do anything in this way equal to Da Costa？
The mention of this latter justly celebrated clown reminds us of
his last piece of humour； the fraudulently obtaining certain
stamped acceptances from a young gentleman in the army。 We had
scarcely laid down our pen to contemplate for a few moments this
admirable actor's performance of that exquisite practical joke；
than a new branch of our subject flashed suddenly upon us。 So we
take it up again at once。
All people who have been behind the scenes； and most people who
have been before them； know； that in the representation of a
pantomime； a good many men are sent upon the stage for the express
purpose of being cheated； or knocked down； or both。 Now； down to a
moment ago； we had never been able to understand for what possible
purpose a great number of odd； lazy； large…headed men； whom one is
in the habit of meeting here； and there； and everywhere； could ever
have been created。 We see it all； now。 They are the
supernumeraries in the pantomime of life； the men who have been
thrust into it； with no other view than to be constantly tumbling
over each other； and running their heads against all sorts of
strange things。 We sat opposite to one of these men at a supper…
table； only last week。 Now we think of it； he was exactly like the
gentlemen with the pasteboard heads and faces； who do the
corresponding business in the theatrical pantomimes； there was the
same broad stolid simper … the same dull leaden eye … the same
unmeaning； vacant stare； and whatever was said； or whatever was
done； he always came in at precisely the wrong place； or jostled
against something that he had not the slightest business with。 We
looked at the man across the table again and again； and could not
satisfy ourselves what race of beings to class him with。 How very
odd that this never occurred to us before！
We will frankly own that we have been much troubled with the
harlequin。 We see harlequins of so many kinds in the real living
pantomime； that we hardly know which to select as the proper