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Pig and Tinder…box。 I give you the rumour as it has reached me；
but I cannot； as yet； vouch for its accuracy。 The moment I have
been enabled to obtain any certain information upon this
interesting point； you may depend upon receiving it。'
'HALF…PAST SEVEN。
I have just returned from a personal interview with the landlord of
the Pig and Tinder…box。 He speaks confidently of the probability
of Professors Snore； Doze； and Wheezy taking up their residence at
his house during the sitting of the association； but denies that
the beds have been yet engaged； in which representation he is
confirmed by the chambermaid … a girl of artless manners； and
interesting appearance。 The boots denies that it is at all likely
that Professors Snore； Doze； and Wheezy will put up here； but I
have reason to believe that this man has been suborned by the
proprietor of the Original Pig； which is the opposition hotel。
Amidst such conflicting testimony it is difficult to arrive at the
real truth； but you may depend upon receiving authentic information
upon this point the moment the fact is ascertained。 The excitement
still continues。 A boy fell through the window of the pastrycook's
shop at the corner of the High…street about half an hour ago； which
has occasioned much confusion。 The general impression is； that it
was an accident。 Pray heaven it may prove so！'
'TUESDAY； NOON。
'At an early hour this morning the bells of all the churches struck
seven o'clock； the effect of which； in the present lively state of
the town； was extremely singular。 While I was at breakfast； a
yellow gig； drawn by a dark grey horse； with a patch of white over
his right eyelid； proceeded at a rapid pace in the direction of the
Original Pig stables； it is currently reported that this gentleman
has arrived here for the purpose of attending the association； and；
from what I have heard； I consider it extremely probable； although
nothing decisive is yet known regarding him。 You may conceive the
anxiety with which we are all looking forward to the arrival of the
four o'clock coach this afternoon。
'Notwithstanding the excited state of the populace； no outrage has
yet been committed； owing to the admirable discipline and
discretion of the police； who are nowhere to be seen。 A barrel…
organ is playing opposite my window； and groups of people； offering
fish and vegetables for sale； parade the streets。 With these
exceptions everything is quiet； and I trust will continue so。'
'FIVE O'CLOCK。
'It is now ascertained； beyond all doubt； that Professors Snore；
Doze； and Wheezy will NOT repair to the Pig and Tinder…box； but
have actually engaged apartments at the Original Pig。 This
intelligence is EXCLUSIVE； and I leave you and your readers to draw
their own inferences from it。 Why Professor Wheezy； of all people
in the world； should repair to the Original Pig in preference to
the Pig and Tinder…box； it is not easy to conceive。 The professor
is a man who should be above all such petty feelings。 Some people
here openly impute treachery； and a distinct breach of faith to
Professors Snore and Doze； while others； again； are disposed to
acquit them of any culpability in the transaction； and to insinuate
that the blame rests solely with Professor Wheezy。 I own that I
incline to the latter opinion； and although it gives me great pain
to speak in terms of censure or disapprobation of a man of such
transcendent genius and acquirements； still I am bound to say that；
if my suspicions be well founded； and if all the reports which have
reached my ears be true； I really do not well know what to make of
the matter。
'Mr。 Slug； so celebrated for his statistical researches； arrived
this afternoon by the four o'clock stage。 His complexion is a dark
purple； and he has a habit of sighing constantly。 He looked
extremely well； and appeared in high health and spirits。 Mr。
Woodensconce also came down in the same conveyance。 The
distinguished gentleman was fast asleep on his arrival； and I am
informed by the guard that he had been so the whole way。 He was；
no doubt； preparing for his approaching fatigues； but what gigantic
visions must those be that flit through the brain of such a man
when his body is in a state of torpidity！
'The influx of visitors increases every moment。 I am told （I know
not how truly） that two post…chaises have arrived at the Original
Pig within the last half…hour； and I myself observed a wheelbarrow；
containing three carpet bags and a bundle； entering the yard of the
Pig and Tinder…box no longer ago than five minutes since。 The
people are still quietly pursuing their ordinary occupations； but
there is a wildness in their eyes； and an unwonted rigidity in the
muscles of their countenances； which shows to the observant
spectator that their expectations are strained to the very utmost
pitch。 I fear； unless some very extraordinary arrivals take place
to…night； that consequences may arise from this popular ferment；
which every man of sense and feeling would deplore。'
'TWENTY MINUTES PAST SIX。
'I have just heard that the boy who fell through the pastrycook's
window last night has died of the fright。 He was suddenly called
upon to pay three and sixpence for the damage done； and his
constitution； it seems； was not strong enough to bear up against
the shock。 The inquest； it is said； will be held to…morrow。'
'THREE…QUARTERS PART SEVEN。
'Professors Muff and Nogo have just driven up to the hotel door；
they at once ordered dinner with great condescension。 We are all
very much delighted with the urbanity of their manners； and the
ease with which they adapt themselves to the forms and ceremonies
of ordinary life。 Immediately on their arrival they sent for the
head waiter； and privately requested him to purchase a live dog； …
as cheap a one as he could meet with； … and to send him up after
dinner； with a pie…board； a knife and fork； and a clean plate。 It
is conjectured that some experiments will be tried upon the dog to…
night； if any particulars should transpire； I will forward them by
express。'
'HALF…PAST EIGHT。
'The animal has been procured。 He is a pug…dog； of rather
intelligent appearance； in good condition； and with very short
legs。 He has been tied to a curtain…peg in a dark room； and is
howling dreadfully。'
'TEN MINUTES TO NINE。
'The dog has just been rung for。 With an instinct which would
appear almost the result of reason； the sagacious animal seized the
waiter by the calf of the leg when he approached to take him； and
made a desperate； though ineffectual resistance。 I have not been
able to procure admission to the apartment occupied by the
scientific gentlemen； but； judging from the sounds which reached my
ears when I stood upon the landing…place outside the door； just
now； I should be disposed to say that the dog had retreated
growling beneath some article of furniture； and was keeping the
professors at bay。 This conjecture is confirmed by the testimony
of the ostler； who； after peeping through the keyhole； assures me
that he distinctly saw Professor Nogo on his knees； holding forth a
small bottle of prussic acid； to which the animal； who was crouched
beneath an arm…chair； obstinately declined to smell。 You cannot
imagine the feverish state of irritation we are in； lest the
interests of science should be sacrificed to the prejudices of a
brute creature； who is not endowed with sufficient sense to foresee
the incalculable benefits which the whole human race may derive
from so very slight a concession on his part。'
'NINE O'CLOCK。
'The dog's tail and ears have been sent down…stairs to be washed；
from which circumstance we infer that the animal is no more。 His
forelegs have been delivered to the boots to be brushed； which
strengthens the supposition。'
'HALF AFTER TEN。
'My feelings are so overpowered by what has taken place in the
course of the last hour and a half； that I have scarcely strength
to detail the rapid succession of events which have quite
bewildered all those who are cognizant of their occurrence。 It
appears that the pug…dog mentioned in my last was surreptitiously
obtained； … stolen； in fact； … by some person attached to the
stable department； from an unmarried lady resident in this town。
Frantic on discovering the loss of her favourite； the lady rushed
distractedly into the street； calling in the most heart…rending and
pathetic manner upon the passengers to restore her； her Augustus； …
for so the deceased was named； in affectionate remembrance of a
former lover of his mistress； to whom he bore a striking personal
resemblance； which renders the circumstances additionally
affecting。 I am not yet in a condition to inform you what
circumstance induced the bereaved lady to direct her steps to the
hotel which had witnessed the last struggles of her PROTEGE。 I can