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the queen of hearts-第78章

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hail and wind。 The old pony which he usually rides had refused to
face the storm; and; sooner than disappoint us; our faithful
postman had boldly started for The Glen Tower on foot。 All his
early life had been passed on board ship; and; at sixty years of
age; he had battled his way that morning through the storm on
shore as steadily and as resolutely as ever he had battled it in
his youth through the storm at sea。

I opened the post…bag eagerly。 There were two letters for Jessie
from young lady friends; a letter for Owen from a charitable
society; a letter to me upon business; andon this last day; of
all othersno newspaper!

I sent directly to the kitchen (where the drenched and weary
postman was receiving the hospitable attentions of the servants)
to make inquiries。 The disheartening answer returned was that the
newspaper could not have arrived as usual by the morning's post;
or it must have been put into the bag along with the letters。 No
such accident as this had occurred; except on one former
occasion; since the beginning of the year。 And now; on the very
day when I might have looked confidently for news of George's
ship; when the state of the weather made the finding of that news
of the last importance to my peace of mind; the paper; by some
inconceivable fatality; had failed to reach me! If there had been
the slightest chance of borrowing a copy in the village; I should
have gone there myself through the tempest to get it。 If there
had been the faintest possibility of communicating; in that
frightful weather; with the distant county town; I should have
sent there or gone there myself。 I even went the length of
speaking to the groom; an old servant whom I knew I could trust。
The man stared at me in astonishment; and then pointed through
the window to the blinding hail and the writhing trees。

〃No horse that ever was foaled; sir;〃 he said; 〃would face _that_
for long。 It's a'most a miracle that the postman got here alive。
He says himself that he dursn't go back again。 I'll try it; sir;
if you order me; but if an accident happens; please to remember;
whatever becomes of _me;_ that I warned you beforehand。〃

It was only too plain that the servant was right; and I dismissed
him。 What I suffered from that one accident of the missing
newspaper I am ashamed to tell。 No educated man can conceive how
little his acquired mental advantages will avail him against his
natural human inheritance of superstition; under certain
circumstances of fear and suspense; until he has passed the
ordeal in his own proper person。 We most of us soon arrive at a
knowledge of the extent of our strength; but we may pass a
lifetime and be still ignorant of the extent of our weakness。

Up to this time I had preserved self…control enough to hide the
real state of my feelings from our guest; but the arrival of the
tenth day; and the unexpected trial it had brought with it; found
me at the end of my resources。 Jessie's acute observation soon
showed her that something had gone wrong; and she questioned me
on the subject directly。 My mind was in such a state of confusion
that no excuse occurred to me。 I left her precipitately; and
entreated Owen and Morgan to keep her in their company; and out
of mine; for the rest of the day。 My strength to preserve my
son's secret had failed me; and my only chance of resisting the
betrayal of it lay in the childish resource of keeping out of the
way。 I shut myself into my room till I could bear it no longer。 I
watched my opportunity; and paid stolen visits over and over
again to the barometer in the hall。 I mounted to Morgan's rooms
at the top of the tower; and looked out hopelessly through
rain…mist and scud for signs of a carriage on the flooded
valley…road below us。 I stole down again to the servants' hall;
and questioned the old postman (half…tipsy by this time with
restorative mulled ale) about his past experience of storms at
sea; drew him into telling long; rambling; wearisome stories; not
one…tenth part of which I heard; and left him with my nervous
irritability increased tenfold by his useless attempts to
interest and inform me。 Hour by hour; all through that miserable
day; I opened doors and windows to feel for myself the capricious
changes of the storm from worse to better; and from better to
worse again。 Now I sent once more for the groom; when it looked
lighter; and now I followed him hurriedly to the stables; to
countermand my own rash orders。 My thoughts seemed to drive over
my mind as the rain drove over the earth; the confusion within me
was the image in little of the mightier turmoil that raged
outside。

Before we assembled at the dinner…table; Owen whispered to me
that he had made my excuses to our guest; and that I need dread
nothing more than a few friendly inquiries about my health when I
saw her again。 The meal was dispatched hastily and quietly。
Toward dusk the storm began to lessen; and for a moment the idea
of sending to the town occurred to me once more。 But; now that
the obstacle of weather had been removed; the obstacle of
darkness was set up in its place。 I felt this; I felt that a few
more hours would decide the doubt about George; so far as this
last day was concerned; and I determined to wait a little longer;
having already waited so long。 My resolution was the more
speedily taken in this matter; as I had now made up my mind; in
sheer despair; to tell my son's secret to Jessie if he failed to
return before she left us。 My reason warned me that I should put
myself and my guest in a false position by taking this step; but
something stronger than my reason forbade me to let her go back
to the gay world and its temptations without first speaking to
her of George in the lamentable event of George not being present
to speak for himself。

We were a sad and silent little company when the clock struck
eight that night; and when we met for the last time to hear the
last story。 The shadow of the approaching farewellitself the
shade of the long farewellrested heavily on our guest's
spirits。 The gay dresses which she had hitherto put on to honor
our little ceremony were all packed up; and the plain gown she
wore kept the journey of the morrow cruelly before her eyes and
ours。 A quiet melancholy shed its tenderness over her bright
young face as she drew the last number; for form's sake; out of
the bowl; and handed it to Owen with a faint smile。 Even our
positions at the table were altered now。 Under the pretense that
the light hurt my eyes; I moved back into a dim corner; to keep
my anxious face out of view。 Morgan; looking at me hard; and
muttering under his breath; 〃Thank Heaven; I never married!〃
stole his chair by degrees; with rough; silent kindness; nearer
and nearer to mine。 Jessie; after a moment's hesitation; vacated
her place next; and; saying that she wanted to sit close to one
of us on the farewell night; took a chair at Owen's side。 Sad!
sad! we had instinctively broken up already; so far as our places
at the table were concerned; before the reading of the last story
had so much as begun。

It was a relief when Owen' s quiet voice stole over the weary
silence; and pleaded for our attention to the occupation of the
night。

〃Number Six;〃 he said; 〃is the number that chance has left to
remain till the last。 The manuscript to which it refers is not;
as you may see; in my handw riting。 It consists entirely of
passages from the Diary of a poor hard…working girlpassages
which tell an artless story of love and friendship in humble
life。 When that story has come to an end; I may inform you how I
became possessed of it。 If I did so now; I should only forestall
one important part of the interest of the narrative。 I have made
no attempt to find a striking title for it。 It is called; simply
and plainly; after the name of the writer of the Diarythe Story
of Anne Rodway。〃

In the short pause that Owen made before he began to read; I
listened anxiously for the sound of a traveler's approach
outside。 At short intervals; all through the story; I listened
and listened again。 Still; nothing caught my ear but the trickle
of the rain and the rush of the sweeping wind through the valley;
sinking gradually lower and lower as the night advanced。


BROTHER OWEN'S STORY

of

ANNE RODWAY。

'TAKEN FROM HER DIARY。'


* * * MARCH 3d; 1840。 A long letter today from Robert; which
surprised and vexed me so that I have been sadly behindhand with
my work ever since。 He writes in worse spirits than last time;
and absolutely declares that he is poorer even than when he went
to America; and that he has made up his mind to come home to
London。

How happy I should be at this news; if he only returned to me a
prosperous man! As it is; though I love him dearly; I cannot look
forward to the meeting him again; disappointed and broken down;
and poorer than ever; without a feeling almost of dread for both
of us。 I was twenty…six last birthday and he was thirty…three;
and there seems less chance now than ever of our being married。
It is all I can do to keep myself by my needle; and his
prospects; since he failed in the small stationery business three
years ago; are worse; if possible; 
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