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like Coligny's to vanquish conquerors； to rise above defeat； to weary
the strongest wrestler。
The next day； having breakfasted at Frapesle and bade adieu to my kind
hosts； I went to Clochegourde。 Monsieur and Madame de Mortsauf had
arranged to drive with me to Tours； whence I was to start the same
night for Paris。 During the drive the countess was silent； she
pretended at first to have a headache； then she blushed at the
falsehood； and expiated it by saying that she could not see me go
without regret。 The count invited me to stay with them whenever； in
the absence of the Chessels； I might long to see the valley of the
Indre once more。 We parted heroically； without apparent tears； but
Jacques； who like other delicate children was quickly touched； began
to cry； while Madeleine； already a woman； pressed her mother's hand。
〃Dear little one！〃 said the countess； kissing Jacques passionately。
When I was alone at Tours after dinner a wild； inexplicable desire
known only to young blood possessed me。 I hired a horse and rode from
Tours to Pont…de…Ruan in an hour and a quarter。 There； ashamed of my
folly； I dismounted； and went on foot along the road； stepping
cautiously like a spy till I reached the terrace。 The countess was not
there； and I imagined her ill； I had kept the key of the little gate；
by which I now entered； she was coming down the steps of the portico
with the two children to breathe in sadly and slowly the tender
melancholy of the landscape； bathed at that moment in the setting sun。
〃Mother； here is Felix；〃 said Madeleine。
〃Yes；〃 I whispered； 〃it is I。 I asked myself why I should stay at
Tours while I still could see you； why not indulge a desire that in a
few days more I could not gratify。〃
〃He won't leave us again； mother；〃 cried Jacques； jumping round me。
〃Hush！〃 said Madeleine； 〃if you make such a noise the general will
come。〃
〃It is not right；〃 she said。 〃What folly！〃
The tears in her voice were the payment of what must be called a
usurious speculation of love。
〃I had forgotten to return this key；〃 I said smiling。
〃Then you will never return；〃 she said。
〃Can we ever be really parted？〃 I asked； with a look which made her
drop her eyelids for all answer。
I left her after a few moments passed in that happy stupor of the
spirit where exaltation ends and ecstasy begins。 I went with lagging
step； looking back at every minute。 When； from the summit of the hill；
I saw the valley for the last time I was struck with the contrast it
presented to what it was when I first came there。 Then it was verdant；
then it glowed； glowed and blossomed like my hopes and my desires。
Initiated now into the gloomy secrets of a family； sharing the anguish
of a Christian Niobe； sad with her sadness； my soul darkened； I saw
the valley in the tone of my own thoughts。 The fields were bare； the
leaves of the poplars falling； the few that remained were rusty； the
vine…stalks were burned； the tops of the trees were tan…colored； like
the robes in which royalty once clothed itself as if to hide the
purple of its power beneath the brown of grief。 Still in harmony with
my thoughts； the valley； where the yellow rays of the setting sun were
coldly dying； seemed to me a living image of my heart。
To leave a beloved woman is terrible or natural； according as the mind
takes it。 For my part； I found myself suddenly in a strange land of
which I knew not the language。 I was unable to lay hold of things to
which my soul no longer felt attachment。 Then it was that the height
and the breadth of my love came before me； my Henriette rose in all
her majesty in this desert where I existed only through thoughts of
her。 That form so worshipped made me vow to keep myself spotless
before my soul's divinity； to wear ideally the white robe of the
Levite； like Petrarch； who never entered Laura's presence unless
clothed in white。 With what impatience I awaited the first night of my
return to my father's roof； when I could read the letter which I felt
of during the journey as a miser fingers the bank…bills he carries
about him。 During the night I kissed the paper on which my Henriette
had manifested her will； I sought to gather the mysterious emanations
of her hand； to recover the intonations of her voice in the hush of my
being。 Since then I have never read her letters except as I read that
first letter； in bed； amid total silence。 I cannot understand how the
letters of our beloved can be read in any other way； yet there are
men； unworthy to be loved； who read such letters in the turmoil of the
day； laying them aside and taking them up again with odious composure。
Here； Natalie； is the voice which echoed through the silence of that
night。 Behold the noble figure which stood before me and pointed to
the right path among the cross…ways at which I stood。
To Monsieur le Vicomte Felix de Vandenesse：
What happiness for me； dear friend； to gather the scattered
elements of my experience that I may arm you against the dangers
of the world； through which I pray that you pass scatheless。 I
have felt the highest pleasures of maternal love as night after
night I have thought of these things。 While writing this letter；
sentence by sentence； projecting my thoughts into the life you are
about to lead； I went often to my window。 Looking at the towers of
Frapesle； visible in the moonlight； I said to myself； 〃He sleeps；
I wake for him。〃 Delightful feelings！ which recall the happiest of
my life； when I watched Jacques sleeping in his cradle and waited
till he wakened； to feed him with my milk。 You are the man…child
whose soul must now be strengthened by precepts never taught in
schools； but which we women have the privilege of inculcating。
These precepts will influence your success； they prepare the way
for it； they will secure it。 Am I not exercising a spiritual
motherhood in giving you a standard by which to judge the actions
of your life； a motherhood comprehended； is it not； by the child？
Dear Felix； let me； even though I may make a few mistakes； let me
give to our friendship a proof of the disinterestedness which
sanctifies it。
In yielding you to the world I am renouncing you； but I love you
too well not to sacrifice my happiness to your welfare。 For the
last four months you have made me reflect deeply on the laws and
customs which regulate our epoch。 The conversations I have had
with my aunt； well…known to you who have replaced her； the events
of Monsieur de Mortsauf's life； which he has told me； the tales
related by my father； to whom society and the court are familiar
in their greatest as well as in their smallest aspects； all these
have risen in my memory for the benefit of my adopted child at the
moment when he is about to be launched； well…nigh alone； among
men； about to act without adviser in a world where many are
wrecked by their own best qualities thoughtlessly displayed； while
others succeed through a judicious use of their worst。
I ask you to ponder this statement of my opinion of society as a
whole； it is concise； for to you a few words are sufficient。
I do not know whether societies are of divine origin or whether
they were invented by man。 I am equally ignorant of the direction
in which they tend。 What I do know certainly is the fact of their
existence。 No sooner therefore do you enter society； instead of
living a life apart； than you are bound to consider its conditions
binding； a contract is signed between you。 Does society in these
days gain more from a man than it returns to him？ I think so； but
as to whether the individual man finds more cost than profit； or
buys too dear the advantages he obtains； concerns the legislator
only； I have nothing to say to that。 In my judgment you are bound
to obey in all things the general law； without discussion； whether
it injures or benefits your personal interests。 This principle may
seem to you a very simple one； but it is difficult of application；
it is like sap； which must infiltrate the smallest of the
capillary tubes to stir the tree； renew its verdure； develop its
flowers； and ripen fruit。 Dear； the laws of society are not all
written in a book； manners and customs create laws； the more
important of which are often the least known。 Believe me； there
are neither teachers； nor schools； nor text…books for the laws
that are now to regulate your actions； your language； your visible
life； the manner of your presentation to the world； and your quest
of fortune。 Neglect those secret laws or fail to understand them；
and you stay at the foot of the social system instead of looking
down upon it。 Even though this letter may seem to you diffuse；
telling you much that you have already thought； let me confide to
you a woman's ethics。
To explain society on the theory of individual happiness adroitly
won at the cost of the greater number is a monstrous doctrine；
which in its strict application leads men to believe that all they
can secretly lay hold of before the law or society or other
individuals condemn it as a wrong is honestly and fairly theirs。