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calculations and profits of all kinds。
I wrote regularly to Henriette； who answered by two letters a month。
Her spirit hovered over me； her thoughts traversed space and made the
atmosphere around me pure。 No woman could captivate me。 The king
noticed my reserve； and as； in this respect； he belonged to the school
of Louis XV。； he called me； in jest； Mademoiselle de Vandenesse； but
my conduct pleased him。 I am convinced that the habit of patience I
acquired in my childhood and practised at Clochegourde had much to do
in my winning the favor of the king； who was always most kind to me。
He no doubt took a fancy to read my letters； for he soon gave up his
notion of my life as that of a young girl。 One day when the duke was
on duty； and I was writing at the king's dictation； the latter
suddenly remarked； in that fine； silvery voice of his； to which he
could give； when he chose； the biting tone of epigram：
〃So that poor devil of a Mortsauf persists in living？〃
〃Yes；〃 replied the duke。
〃Madame de Mortsauf is an angel； whom I should like to see at my
court；〃 continued the king； 〃but if I cannot manage it； my chancellor
here；〃 turning to me； 〃may be more fortunate。 You are to have six
months' leave； I have decided on giving you the young man we spoke of
yesterday as colleague。 Amuse yourself at Clochegourde； friend Cato！〃
and he laughed as he had himself wheeled out of the room。
I flew like a swallow to Touraine。 For the first time I was to show
myself to my beloved； not merely a little less insignificant； but
actually in the guise of an elegant young man； whose manners had been
formed in the best salons； his education finished by gracious women；
who had found at last a compensation for all his sufferings； and had
put to use the experience given to him by the purest angel to whom
heaven had ever committed the care of a child。 You know how my mother
had equipped me for my three months' visit at Frapesle。 When I reached
Clochegourde after fulfilling my mission in Vendee； I was dressed like
a huntsman； I wore a jacket with white and red buttons； striped
trousers； leathern gaiters and shoes。 Tramping through underbrush had
so injured my clothes that the count was obliged to lend me linen。 On
the present occasion； two years' residence in Paris； constant
intercourse with the king； the habits of a life at ease； my completed
growth； a youthful countenance； which derived a lustre from the
placidity of the soul within magnetically united with the pure soul
that beamed on me from Clochegourde；all these things combined had
transformed me。 I was self…possessed without conceit； inwardly pleased
to find myself； in spite of my years； at the summit of affairs； above
all； I had the consciousness of being secretly the support and comfort
of the dearest woman on earth； and her unuttered hope。 Perhaps I felt
a flutter of vanity as the postilions cracked their whips along the
new avenue leading from the main road to Clochegourde and through an
iron gate I had never seen before； which opened into a circular
enclosure recently constructed。 I had not written to the countess of
my coming； wishing to surprise her。 For this I found myself doubly in
fault： first； she was overwhelmed with the excitement of a pleasure
long desired； but supposed to be impossible； and secondly； she proved
to me that all such deliberate surprises are in bad taste。
When Henriette saw a young man in him who had hitherto seemed but a
child to her； she lowered her eyes with a sort of tragic slowness。 She
allowed me to take and kiss her hand without betraying her inward
pleasure； which I nevertheless felt in her sensitive shiver。 When she
raised her face to look at me again； I saw that she was pale。
〃Well； you don't forget your old friends？〃 said Monsieur de Mortsauf；
who had neither changed nor aged。
The children sprang upon me。 I saw them behind the grave face of the
Abbe Dominis； Jacques' tutor。
〃No；〃 I replied； 〃and in future I am to have six months' leave； which
will always be spent hereWhy； what is the matter？〃 I said to the
countess； putting my arm round her waist and holding her up in
presence of them all。
〃Oh； don't！〃 she said； springing away from me； 〃it is nothing。〃
I read her mind； and answered to its secret thought by saying； 〃Am I
not allowed to be your faithful slave？〃
She took my arm； left the count； the children； and the abbe； and led
me to a distance on the lawn； though still within sight of the others；
then； when sure that her voice could not be heard by them； she spoke。
〃Felix； my dear friend；〃 she said； 〃forgive my fears； I have but one
thread by which to guide me in the labyrinth of life； and I dread to
see it broken。 Tell me that I am more than ever Henriette to you； that
you will never abandon me； that nothing shall prevail against me； that
you will ever be my devoted friend。 I have suddenly had a glimpse into
my future； and you were not there； as hitherto； your eyes shining and
fixed upon me〃
〃Henriette！ idol whose worship is like that of the Divine；lily；
flower of my life； how is it that you do not know； you who are my
conscience； that my being is so fused with yours that my soul is here
when my body is in Paris？ Must I tell you that I have come in
seventeen hours； that each turn of the wheels gathered thoughts and
desires in my breast； which burst forth like a tempest when I saw
you？〃
〃Yes； tell me！ tell me！〃 she cried； 〃I am so sure of myself that I can
hear you without wrong。 God does not will my death。 He sends you to me
as he sends his breath to his creatures； as he pours the rain of his
clouds upon a parched earth；tell me！ tell me！ Do you love me
sacredly？〃
〃Sacredly。〃
〃For ever？〃
〃For ever。〃
〃As a virgin Mary； hidden behind her veil； beneath her white crown。〃
〃As a virgin visible。〃
〃As a sister？〃
〃As a sister too dearly loved。〃
〃With chivalry and without hope？〃
〃With chivalry and with hope。〃
〃As if you were still twenty years of age； and wearing that absurd
blue coat？〃
〃Oh better far！ I love you thus； and I also love you〃she looked at
me with keen apprehension〃as you loved your aunt。〃
〃I am happy！ You dispel my terrors；〃 she said； returning towards the
family； who were surprised at our private conference。 〃Be still a
child at Clochegourdefor you are one still。 It may be your policy to
be a man with the king； but here； let me tell you； monsieur； your best
policy is to remain a child。 As a child you shall be loved。 I can
resist a man； but to a child I can refuse nothing； nothing！ He can ask
for nothing I will not give him。Our secrets are all told；〃 she said；
looking at the count with a mischievous air； in which her girlish；
natural self reappeared。 〃I leave you now； I must go and dress。〃
Never for three years had I heard her voice so richly happy。 For the
first time I heard those swallow cries； the infantile notes of which I
told you。 I had brought Jacques a hunting outfit； and for Madeleine a
work…boxwhich her mother afterwards used。 The joy of the two
children； delighted to show their presents to each other； seemed to
annoy the count； always dissatisfied when attention was withdrawn from
himself。 I made a sign to Madeleine and followed her father； who
wanted to talk to me of his ailments。
〃My poor Felix；〃 he said； 〃you see how happy and well they all are。 I
am the shadow on the picture； all their ills are transferred to me；
and I bless God that it is so。 Formerly I did not know what was the
matter with me； now I know。 The orifice of my stomach is affected； I
can digest nothing。〃
〃How do you come to be as wise as the professor of a medical school？〃
I asked； laughing。 〃Is your doctor indiscreet enough to tell you such
things？〃
〃God forbid I should consult a doctor；〃 he cried； showing the aversion
most imaginary invalids feel for the medical profession。
I now listened to much crazy talk； in the course of which he made the
most absurd confidences；complained of his wife； of the servants； of
the children； of life； evidently pleased to repeat his daily speeches
to a friend who； not having heard them daily； might be alarmed； and
who at any rate was forced to listen out of politeness。 He must have
been satisfied； for I paid him the utmost attention； trying to
penetrate his inconceivable nature； and to guess what new tortures he
had been inflicting on his wife； of which she had not written to me。
Henriette presently put an end to the monologue by appearing in the
portico。 The count saw her； shook his head； and said to me： 〃You
listen to me； Felix； but here no one pities me。〃
He went away； as if aware of the constraint he imposed on my
intercourse with Henriette； or perhaps from a really chivalrous
consideration for her； knowing he could give her pleasure by leaving
us alone。 His character exhibited contradictions that were often
inexplicable； he was jealous； like all weak beings； but his confidence
in his wife's sanctity was boundless。 It may have been the sufferings
of his own self…esteem； wounded by the superiority of that lofty
virtue； which made him so eager to oppose every wish of the poor
woman； whom he braved as children brave their masters or their
mothers。
J