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the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第38章

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fear you more; oppose his erratic will with your firm will。 Extend
your power over him; confine his madness to a moral sphere just as we
lock maniacs in a cell。〃

〃Dear child;〃 she said; smiling bitterly; 〃a woman without a heart
might do it。 But I am a mother; I should make a poor jailer。 Yes; I
can suffer; but I cannot make others suffer。 Never!〃 she said; 〃never!
not even to obtain some great and honorable result。 Besides; I should
have to lie in my heart; disguise my voice; lower my head; degrade my
gesturedo not ask of me such falsehoods。 I can stand between
Monsieur de Mortsauf and his children; I willingly receive his blows
that they may not fall on others; I can do all that; and will do it to
conciliate conflicting interests; but I can do no more。〃

〃Let me worship thee; O saint; thrice holy!〃 I exclaimed; kneeling at
her feet and kissing her robe; with which I wiped my tears。 〃But if he
kills you?〃 I cried。

She turned pale and said; lifting her eyes to heaven:

〃God's will be done!〃

〃Do you know that the king said to your father; 'So that devil of a
Mortsauf is still living'?〃

〃A jest on the lips of the king;〃 she said; 〃is a crime when repeated
here。〃

In spite of our precautions the count had tracked us; he now arrived;
bathed in perspiration; and sat down under a walnut…tree where the
countess had stopped to give me that rebuke。 I began to talk about the
vintage; the count was silent; taking no notice of the dampness under
the tree。 After a few insignificant remarks; interspersed with pauses
that were very significant; he complained of nausea and headache; but
he spoke gently; and did not appeal to our pity; or describe his
sufferings in his usual exaggerated way。 We paid no attention to him。
When we reached the house; he said he felt worse and should go to bed;
which he did; quite naturally and with much less complaint than usual。
We took advantage of the respite and went down to our dear terrace
accompanied by Madeleine。

〃Let us get that boat and go upon the river;〃 said the countess after
we had made a few turns。 〃We might go and look at the fishing which is
going on to…day。〃

We went out by the little gate; found the punt; jumped into it and
were presently paddling up the Loire。 Like three children amused with
trifles; we looked at the sedges along the banks and the blue and
green dragon…flies; the countess wondered perhaps that she was able to
enjoy such peaceful pleasures in the midst of her poignant griefs; but
Nature's calm; indifferent to our struggles; has a magic gift of
consolation。 The tumults of a love full of restrained desires
harmonize with the wash of the water; the flowers that the hand of man
has never wilted are the voice of his secret dreams; the voluptuous
swaying of the boat vaguely responds to the thoughts that are floating
in his soul。 We felt the languid influence of this double poesy。
Words; tuned to the diapason of nature; disclosed mysterious graces;
looks were impassioned rays sharing the light shed broadcast by the
sun on the glowing meadows。 The river was a path along which we flew。
Our spirit; no longer kept down by the measured tread of our
footsteps; took possession of the universe。 The abounding joy of a
child at liberty; graceful in its motions; enticing in its play; is
the living expression of two freed souls; delighting themselves by
becoming ideally the wondrous being dreamed of by Plato and known to
all whose youth has been filled with a blessed love。 To describe to
you that hour; not in its indescribable details but in its essence; I
must say to you that we loved each other in all the creations animate
and inanimate which surrounded us; we felt without us the happiness
our own hearts craved; it so penetrated our being that the countess
took off her gloves and let her hands float in the water as if to cool
an inward ardor。 Her eyes spoke; but her mouth; opening like a rose to
the breeze; gave voice to no desire。 You know the harmony of deep
tones mingling perfectly with high ones? Ever; when I hear it now; it
recalls to me the harmony of our two souls in this one hour; which
never came again。

〃Where do you fish?〃 I asked; 〃if you can only do so from the banks
you own?〃

〃Near Pont…de…Ruan;〃 she replied。 〃Ah! we now own the river from Pont…
de…Ruan to Clochegourde; Monsieur de Mortsauf has lately bought forty
acres of the meadow lands with the savings of two years and the
arrearage of his pension。 Does that surprise you?〃

〃Surprise me?〃 I cried; 〃I would that all the valley were yours。〃 She
answered me with a smile。 Presently we came below the bridge to a
place where the Indre widens and where the fishing was going on。

〃Well; Martineau?〃 she said。

〃Ah; Madame la comtesse; such bad luck! We have fished up from the
mill the last three hours; and have taken nothing。〃

We landed near them to watch the drawing in of the last net; and all
three of us sat down in the shade of a 〃bouillard;〃 a sort of poplar
with a white bark; which grows on the banks of the Danube and the
Loire (probably on those of other large rivers); and sheds; in the
spring of the year; a white and silky fluff; the covering of its
flower。 The countess had recovered her august serenity; she half
regretted the unveiling of her griefs; and mourned that she had cried
aloud like Job; instead of weeping like the Magdalen;a Magdalen
without loves; or galas; or prodigalities; but not without beauty and
fragrance。 The net came in at her feet full of fish; tench; barbels;
pike; perch; and an enormous carp; which floundered about on the
grass。

〃Madame brings luck!〃 exclaimed the keeper。

All the laborers opened their eyes as they looked with admiration at
the woman whose fairy wand seemed to have touched the nets。 Just then
the huntsman was seen urging his horse over the meadows at a full
gallop。 Fear took possession of her。 Jacques was not with us; and the
mother's first thought; as Virgil so poetically says; is to press her
children to her breast when danger threatens。

〃Jacques! Where is Jacques? What has happened to my boy?〃

She did not love me! If she had loved me I should have seen upon her
face when confronted with my sufferings that expression of a lioness
in despair。

〃Madame la comtesse; Monsieur le comte is worse。〃

She breathed more freely and started to run towards Clochegourde;
followed by me and by Madeleine。

〃Follow me slowly;〃 she said; looking back; 〃don't let the dear child
overheat herself。 You see how it is; Monsieur de Mortsauf took that
walk in the sun which put him into a perspiration; and sitting under
the walnut…tree may be the cause of a great misfortune。〃

The words; said in the midst of her agitation; showed plainly the
purity of her soul。 The death of the count a misfortune! She reached
Clochegourde with great rapidity; passing through a gap in the wall
and crossing the fields。 I returned slowly。 Henriette's words lighted
my mind; but as the lightning falls and blasts the gathered harvest。
On the river I had fancied I was her chosen one; now I felt bitterly
the sincerity of her words。 The lover who is not everything is
nothing。 I loved with the desire of a love that knows what it seeks;
which feeds in advance on coming transports; and is content with the
pleasures of the soul because it mingles with them others which the
future keeps in store。 If Henriette loved; it was certain that she
knew neither the pleasures of love nor its tumults。 She lived by
feelings only; like a saint with God。 I was the object on which her
thoughts fastened as bees swarm upon the branch of a flowering tree。
In my mad jealousy I reproached myself that I had dared nothing; that
I had not tightened the bonds of a tenderness which seemed to me at
that moment more subtile than real; by the chains of positive
possession。

The count's illness; caused perhaps by a chill under the walnut…tree;
became alarming in a few hours。 I went to Tours for a famous doctor
named Origet; but was unable to find him until evening。 He spent that
night and the next day at Clochegourde。 We had sent the huntsman in
quest of leeches; but the doctor; thinking the case urgent; wished to
bleed the count immediately; but had brought no lancet with him。 I at
once started for Azay in the midst of a storm; roused a surgeon;
Monsieur Deslandes; and compelled him to come with the utmost celerity
to Clochegourde。 Ten minutes later and the count would have died; the
bleeding saved him。 But in spite of this preliminary success the
doctor predicted an inflammatory fever of the worst kind。 The countess
was overcome by the fear that she was the secret cause of this crisis。
Two weak to thank me for my exertions; she merely gave me a few
smiles; the equivalent of the kiss she had once laid upon my hand。
Fain would I have seen in those haggard smiles the remorse of illicit
love; but no; they were only the act of contrition of an innocent
repentance; painful to see in one so pure; the expression of admiring
tenderness for me whom she regarded as noble while reproaching herself
for an imaginary wrong。 Surely she loved as Laura loved Petrarch; and
not as Francesca da Rimini loved Paolo;a terrible dis
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