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as pious as though I had to take orders。 On leaving college； the Abbe
Loraux took me into his house and made me study law。 During the four
years of study requisite for passing all the examinations； I worked
hard； but chiefly at things outside the arid fields of jurisprudence。
Weaned from literature as I had been at college； where I lived in the
headmaster's house； I had a thirst to quench。 As soon as I had read a
few modern masterpieces； the works of all the preceding ages were
greedily swallowed。 I became crazy about the theatre； and for a long
time I went every night to the play； though my uncle gave me only a
hundred francs a month。 This parsimony； to which the good old man was
compelled by his regard for the poor； had the effect of keeping a
young man's desires within reasonable limits。
〃When I went to live with Comte Octave I was not indeed an innocent；
but I thought of my rare escapades as crimes。 My uncle was so truly
angelic； and I was so much afraid of grieving him； that in all those
four years I had never spent a night out。 The good man would wait till
I came in to go to bed。 This maternal care had more power to keep me
within bounds than the sermons and reproaches with which the life of a
young man is diversified in a puritanical home。 I was a stranger to
the various circles which make up the world of Paris society； I only
knew some women of the better sort； and none of the inferior class but
those I saw as I walked about； or in the boxes at the play； and then
only from the depths of the pit where I sat。 If； at that period； any
one had said to me； 'You will see Canalis； or Camille Maupin；' I
should have felt hot coals in my head and in my bowels。 Famous people
were to me as gods； who neither spoke； nor walked； nor ate like other
mortals。
〃How many tales of the Thousand…and…one Nights are comprehended in the
ripening of a youth！ How many wonderful lamps must we have rubbed
before we understand that the True Wonderful Lamp is either luck； or
work； or genius。 In some men this dream of the aroused spirit is but
brief； mine has lasted until now！ In those days I always went to sleep
as Grand Duke of Tuscany；as a millionaire；as beloved by a
princess；or famous！ So to enter the service of Comte Octave； and
have a hundred louis a year； was entering on independent life。 I had
glimpses of some chance of getting into society； and seeking for what
my heart desired most； a protectress； who would rescue me from the
paths of danger； which a young man of two…and…twenty can hardly help
treading； however prudent and well brought up he may be。 I began to be
afraid of myself。
〃The persistent study of other people's rights into which I had
plunged was not always enough to repress painful imaginings。 Yes；
sometimes in fancy I threw myself into theatrical life； I thought I
could be a great actor； I dreamed of endless triumphs and loves；
knowing nothing of the disillusion hidden behind the curtain； as
everywhere elsefor every stage has its reverse behind the scenes。 I
have gone out sometimes； my heart boiling； carried away by an impulse
to rush hunting through Paris； to attach myself to some handsome woman
I might meet； to follow her to her door； watch her； write to her；
throw myself on her mercy； and conquer her by sheer force of passion。
My poor uncle； a heart consumed by charity； a child of seventy years；
as clear…sighted as God； as guileless as a man of genius； no doubt
read the tumult of my soul； for when he felt the tether by which he
held me strained too tightly and ready to break； he would never fail
to say； 'Here； Maurice； you too are poor！ Here are twenty francs； go
and amuse yourself； you are not a priest！' And if you could have seen
the dancing light that gilded his gray eyes； the smile that relaxed
his fine lips； puckering the corners of his mouth； the adorable
expression of that august face； whose native ugliness was redeemed by
the spirit of an apostle； you would understand the feeling which made
me answer the Cure of White Friars only with a kiss； as if he had been
my mother。
〃 'In Comte Octave you will find not a master； but a friend；' said my
uncle on the way to the Rue Payenne。 'But he is distrustful； or to be
more exact； he is cautious。 The statesman's friendship can be won only
with time； for in spite of his deep insight and his habit of gauging
men； he was deceived by the man you are succeeding； and nearly became
a victim to his abuse of confidence。 This is enough to guide you in
your behavior to him。'
〃When we knocked at the enormous outer door of a house as large as the
Hotel Carnavalet； with a courtyard in front and a garden behind； the
sound rang as in a desert。 While my uncle inquired of an old porter in
livery if the Count were at home； I cast my eyes； seeing everything at
once； over the courtyard where the cobblestones were hidden in the
grass； the blackened walls where little gardens were flourishing above
the decorations of the elegant architecture； and on the roof； as high
as that of the Tuileries。 The balustrade of the upper balconies was
eaten away。 Through a magnificent colonnade I could see a second court
on one side； where were the offices； the door was rotting。 An old
coachman was there cleaning an old carriage。 The indifferent air of
this servant allowed me to assume that the handsome stables； where of
old so many horses had whinnied； now sheltered two at most。 The
handsome facade of the house seemed to me gloomy； like that of a
mansion belonging to the State or the Crown； and given up to some
public office。 A bell rang as we walked across； my uncle and I； from
the porter's lodge/Inquire of the Porter/ was still written over the
doortowards the outside steps； where a footman came out in a livery
like that of Labranche at the Theatre Francais in the old stock plays。
A visitor was so rare that the servant was putting his coat on when he
opened a glass door with small panes； on each side of which the smoke
of a lamp had traced patterns on the walls。
〃A hall so magnificent as to be worthy of Versailles ended in a
staircase such as will never again be built in France； taking up as
much space as the whole of a modern house。 As we went up the marble
steps； as cold as tombstones； and wide enough for eight persons to
walk abreast； our tread echoed under sonorous vaulting。 The banister
charmed the eye by its miraculous workmanshipgoldsmith's work in
ironwrought by the fancy of an artist of the time of Henri III。
Chilled as by an icy mantle that fell on our shoulders； we went
through ante…rooms； drawing…rooms opening one out of the other； with
carpetless parquet floors； and furnished with such splendid
antiquities as from thence would find their way to the curiosity
dealers。 At last we reached a large study in a cross wing； with all
the windows looking into an immense garden。
〃 'Monsieur le Cure of the White Friars； and his nephew； Monsieur de
l'Hostal；' said Labranche； to whose care the other theatrical servant
had consigned us in the first ante…chamber。
〃Comte Octave； dressed in long trousers and a gray flannel morning
coat； rose from his seat by a huge writing…table； came to the
fireplace； and signed to me to sit down； while he went forward to take
my uncle's hands； which he pressed。
〃 'Though I am in the parish of Saint…Paul；' said he； 'I could
scarcely have failed to hear of the Cure of the White Friars； and I am
happy to make his acquaintance。'
〃 'Your Excellency is most kind；' replied my uncle。 'I have brought to
you my only remaining relation。 While I believe that I am offering a
good gift to your Excellency； I hope at the same time to give my
nephew a second father。'
〃 'As to that； I can only reply； Monsieur l'Abbe； when we shall have
tried each other；' said Comte Octave。 'Your name？' he added to me。
〃 'Maurice。'
〃 'He has taken his doctor's degree in law；' my uncle observed。
〃 'Very good； very good！' said the Count； looking at me from head to
foot。 'Monsieur l'Abbe； I hope that for your nephew's sake in the
first instance； and then for mine； you will do me the honor of dining
here every Monday。 That will be our family dinner； our family party。'
〃My uncle and the Count then began to talk of religion from the
political point of view； of charitable institutes； the repression of
crime； and I could at my leisure study the man on whom my fate would
henceforth depend。 The Count was of middle height； it was impossible
to judge of his build on account of his dress； but he seemed to me to
be lean and spare。 His face was harsh and hollow； the features were
refined。 His mouth； which was rather large； expressed both irony and
kindliness。 His forehead perhaps too spacious； was as intimidating as
that of a madman； all the more so from the contrast of the lower part
of the face； which ended squarely in a short chin very near the lower
lip。 Small eyes； of turquoise blue； were as keen and bright as those
of the Prince de Talleyrandwhich I admired at a later timeand
endowed； like the Prince's； with the faculty of becoming
expressionless to the verge of gloom； and they added to the
singularity of a face that was not pale but yellow。 This complexion
seemed to bespeak a