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capacious pocket in front of the carriage; and took from it a box
of matches and a railway reading…lamp。
〃You provoke me;〃 said the old lady; 〃into showing you what your
husband thinks of this new whim of yours。 I have got his letter
with mehis last letter from Spain。 You shall judge for
yourself; you poor deluded young creature; whether my son is
worthy of the sacrificethe useless and hopeless
sacrificewhich you are bent on making of yourself for his sake。
Strike a light!〃
I willingly obeyed her。 Ever since she had informed me of
Eustace's departure to Spain I had been eager for more news of
him; for something to sustain my spirits; after so much that had
disappointed and depressed me。 Thus far I did not even know
whether my husband thought of me sometimes in his self…imposed
exile。 As to this regretting already the rash act which had
separated us; it was still too soon to begin hoping for that。
The lamp having been lighted; and fixed in its place between the
two front windows of the carriage; Mrs。 Macallan produced her
son's letter。 There is no folly like the folly of love。 It cost
me a hard struggle to restrain myself from kissing the paper on
which the dear hand had rested。
〃There!〃 said my mother…in…law。 〃Begin on the second page; the
page devoted to you。 Read straight down to the last line at the
bottom; and; in God's name; come back to your senses; child;
before it is too late!〃
I followed my instructions; and read these words:
〃Can I trust myself to write of Valeria? I _must_ write of her。
Tell me how she is; how she looks; what she is doing。 I am always
thinking of her。 Not a day passes but I mourn the loss of her。
Oh; if she had only been contented to let matters rest as they
were! Oh; if she had never discovered the miserable truth!
〃She spoke of reading the Trial when I saw her last。 Has she
persisted in doing so? I believeI say this seriously; motherI
believe the shame and the horror of it would have been the death
of me if I had met her face to face when she first knew of the
ignominy that I have suffered; of the infamous suspicion of which
I have been publicly made the subject。 Think of those pure eyes
looking at a man who has been accus ed (and never wholly
absolved) of the foulest and the vilest of all murders; and then
think of what that man must feel if he have any heart and any
sense of shame left in him。 I sicken as I write of it。
〃Does she still meditate that hopeless projectthe offspring;
poor angel; of her artless; unthinking generosity? Does she still
fancy that it is in _her_ power to assert my innocence before the
world? Oh; mother (if she do); use your utmost influence to make
her give up the idea! Spare her the humiliation; the
disappointment; the insult; perhaps; to which she may innocently
expose herself。 For her sake; for my sake; leave no means untried
to attain this righteous; this merciful end。
〃I send her no messageI dare not do it。 Say nothing; when you
see her; which can recall me to her memory。 On the contrary; help
her to forget me as soon as possible。 The kindest thing I can
dothe one atonement I can make to heris to drop out of her
life。〃
With those wretched words it ended。 I handed his letter back to
his mother in silence。 She said but little on her side。
〃If _this_ doesn't discourage you;〃 she remarked; slowly folding
up the letter; 〃nothing will。 Let us leave it there; and say no
more。〃
I made no answerI was crying behind my veil。 My domestic
prospect looked so dreary! my unfortunate husband was so
hopelessly misguided; so pitiably wrong! The one chance for both
of us; and the one consolation for poor Me; was to hold to my
desperate resolution more firmly than ever。 If I had wanted
anything to confirm me in this view; and to arm me against the
remonstrances of every one of my friends; Eustace's letter would
have proved more than sufficient to answer the purpose。 At least
he had not forgotten me; he thought of me; and he mourned the
loss of me every day of his life。 That was encouragement
enoughfor the present。 〃If Ariel calls for me in the
pony…chaise to…morrow;〃 I thought to myself; 〃with Ariel I go。〃
Mrs。 Macallan set me down at Benjamin's door。
I mentioned to her at partingI stood sufficiently in awe of her
to put it off till the last momentthat Miserrimus Dexter had
arranged to send his cousin and his pony…chaise to her residence
on the next day; and I inquired thereupon whether my
mother…in…law would permit me to call at her house to wait for
the appearance of the cousin; or whether she would prefer sending
the chaise on to Benjamin's cottage。 I fully expected an
explosion of anger to follow this bold avowal of my plans for the
next day。 The old lady agreeably surprised me。 She proved that
she had really taken a liking to me: she kept her temper。
〃If you persist in going back to Dexter; you certainly shall not
go to him from my door;〃 she said。 〃But I hope you will _not_
persist。 I hope you will awake a wiser woman to…morrow morning。〃
The morning came。 A little before noon the arrival of the
pony…chaise was announced at the door; and a letter was brought
in to me from Mrs。 Macallan。
〃I have no right to control your movements;〃 my mother…in…law
wrote。 〃I send the chaise to Mr。 Benjamin's house; and I
sincerely trust that you will not take your place in it。 I wish I
could persuade you; Valeria; how truly I am your friend。 I have
been thinking about you anxiously in the wakeful hours of the
night。 _How_ anxiously; you will understand when I tell you that
I now reproach myself for not having done more than I did to
prevent your unhappy marriage。 And yet; what more I could have
done I don't really know。 My son admitted to me that he was
courting you under an assumed name; but he never told me what the
name was。 Or who you were; or where your friends lived。 Perhaps I
ought to have taken measures to find this out。 Perhaps; if I had
succeeded; I ought to have interfered and enlightened you; even
at the sad sacrifice of making an enemy of my own son。 I honestly
thought I did my duty in expressing my disapproval; and in
refusing to be present at the marriage。 Was I too easily
satisfied? It is too late to ask。 Why do I trouble you with an
old woman's vain misgivings and regrets? My child; if you come to
any harm; I shall feel (indirectly) responsible for it。 It is
this uneasy state of mind which sets me writing; with nothing to
say that can interest you。 Don't go to Dexter! The fear has been
pursuing me all night that your going to Dexter will end badly。
Write him an excuse。 Valeria! I firmly believe you will repent it
if you return to that house。〃
Was ever a woman more plainly warned; more carefully advised;
than I? And yet warning and advice were both thrown away on me。
Let me say for myself that I was really touched by the kindness
of my mother…in…law's letter; though I was not shaken by it in
the smallest degree。 As long as I lived; moved; and thought; my
one purpose now was to make Miserrimus Dexter confide to me his
ideas on the subject of Mrs。 Eustace Macallan's death。 To those
ideas I looked as my guiding stars along the dark way on which I
was going。 I wrote back to Mrs。 Macallan; as I really felt
gratefully and penitently。 And then I went out to the chaise。
CHAPTER XXVII。
MR。 DEXTER AT HOME。
I FOUND all the idle boys in the neighborhood collected around
the pony…chaise; expressing; in the occult language of slang;
their high enjoyment and appreciation at the appearance of
〃Ariel〃 in her man's jacket and hat。 The pony was fidgety_he_
felt the influence of the popular uproar。 His driver sat; whip in
hand; magnificently impenetrable to the gibes and jests that were
flying around her。 I said 〃Good…morning〃 on getting into the
chaise。 Ariel only said 〃Gee up!〃 and started the pony。
I made up my mind to perform the journey to the distant northern
suburb in silence。 It was evidently useless for me to attempt to
speak; and experience informed me that I need not expect to hear
a word fall from the lips of my companion。 Experience; however;
is not always infallible。 After driving for half an hour in
stolid silence; Ariel astounded me by suddenly bursting into
speech。
〃Do you know what we are coming to?〃 she asked; keeping her eyes
straight between the pony's ears。
〃No;〃 I answered。 〃I don't know the road。 What are we coming to?〃
〃We are coming to a canal。〃
〃Well?〃
〃Well; I have half a mind to upset you in the canal。〃
This formidable announcement appeared to require some
explanation。 I took the liberty of asking for it。
〃Why should you upset me?〃 I inquired。
〃Because I hate you;〃 was the cool and candid reply。
〃What have I done to offend you?〃 I asked next。
〃What do you want with the Master?〃 Ariel asked; in her turn。
〃Do you mean Mr。 Dexter?〃
〃Yes。〃
〃I want to have some talk with Mr。 Dexter。〃
〃You don't! You want to take my place。 You want to brush his hair
and oil his beard; instead of me。 You wretch!〃
I now began to understand。 The idea which Miserrimus Dexter had
jestingly put into her head; in exhibiting her to us on the
previous night; had been ripening slowly