按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
of thought just started in his mind。
〃So like my mother！〃 he exclaimed； with the air of a man who felt
irresistibly diverted by some humorous idea of his own。 〃Tell me
all about it； Valeria！〃
〃Tell _you_！〃 I repeated。 〃After what has happened； surely it is
your duty to enlighten _me_。〃
〃You don't see the joke；〃 he said。
〃I not only fail to see the joke；〃 I rejoined； 〃I see something
in your mother's language and your mother's behavior which
justifies me in asking you for a serious explanation。〃
〃My dear Valeria； if you understood my mother as well as I do； a
serious explanation of her conduct would be the last thing in the
world that you would expect from me。 The idea of taking my mother
seriously！〃 He burst out laughing again。 〃My darling； you don't
know how you amuse me。〃
It was all forced： it was all unnatural。 He； the most delicate；
the most refined of mena gentleman in the highest sense of the
wordwas coarse and loud and vulgar！ My heart sank under a
sudden sense of misgiving which； with all my love for him； it was
impossible to resist。 In unutterable distress and alarm I asked
myself； 〃Is my husband beginning to deceive me？ is he acting a
part； and acting it badly； before we have been married a week？〃 I
set myself to win his confidence in a new way。 He was evidently
determined to force his own point of view on me。 I determined； on
my side； to accept his point of view。
〃You tell me I don't understand your mother；〃 I said； gently。
〃Will you help me to understand her？〃
〃It is not easy to help you to understand a woman who doesn't
understand herself；〃 he answered。 〃But I will try。 The key to my
poor dear mother's character is； in one wordEccentricity。〃
If he had picked out the most inappropriate word in the whole
dictionary to describe the lady whom I had met on the beach；
〃Eccentricity〃 would have been that word。 A child who had seen
what I saw； who had heard what I heard would have discovered that
he was triflinggrossly； recklessly triflingwith the truth
〃Bear in mind what I have said；〃 he proceeded； 〃and if you want
to understand my mother； do what I asked you to do a minute
sincetell me all about it。 How came you to speak to her； to
begin with？〃
〃Your mother told you； Eustace。 I was walking just behind her；
when she dropped a letter by accident〃
〃No accident；〃 he interposed。 〃The letter was dropped on
purpose。〃
〃Impossible！〃 I exclaimed。 〃Why should your mother drop the
letter on purpose？〃
〃Use the key to her character； my dear。 Eccentricity！ My mother's
odd way of making acquaintance with you。〃
〃Making acquaintance with me？ I have just told you that I was
walking behind her。 She could not have known of the existence of
such a person as myself until I spoke to her first。〃
〃So you suppose； Valeria。〃
〃I am certain of it。〃
〃Pardon meyou don't know my mother as I do。〃
I began to lose all patience with him。
〃Do you mean to tell me；〃 I said； 〃that your mother was out on
the sands to…day for the express purpose of making acquaintance
with Me？〃
〃I have not the slightest doubt of it；〃 he answered； coolly。
〃Why； she didn't even recognize my name！〃 I burst out。 〃Twice
over the landlady called me Mrs。 Woodville in your mother's
hearing； and twice over； I declare to you on my word of honor； it
failed to produce the slightest impression on her。 She looked and
acted as if she had never heard her own name before in her life。〃
〃'Acted' is the right word；〃 he said； just as composedly as
before。 〃The women on the stage are not the only women who can
act。 My mother's object was to make herself thoroughly acquainted
with you； and to throw you off your guard by speaking in the
character of a stranger。 It is exactly like her to take that
roundabout way of satisfying her curiosity about a
daughter…in…law she disapproves of 。 If I had not joined you when
I did； you would have been examined and cross…examined about
yourself and about me； and you would innocently have answered
under the impression that you were speaking to a chance
acquaintance。 There is my mother all over！ She is your enemy；
remembernot your friend。 She is not in search of your merits；
but of your faults。 And you wonder why no impression was produced
on her when she heard you addressed by your name！ Poor innocent！
I can tell you thisyou only discovered my mother in her own
character when I put an end to the mystification by presenting
you to each other。 You saw how angry she was； and now you know
why。〃
I let him go on without saying a word。 I listenedoh！ with such
a heavy heart； with such a crushing sense of disenchantment and
despair！ The idol of my worship； the companion； guide； protector
of my lifehad he fallen so low？ could he stoop to such
shameless prevarication as this？
Was there one word of truth in all that he had said to me？ Yes！
If I had not discovered his mother's portrait； it was certainly
true that I should not have known； not even have vaguely
suspected； who she really was。 Apart from this； the rest was
lying； clumsy lying； which said one thing at least for him； that
he was not accustomed to falsehood and deceit。 Good Heavens！ if
my husband was to be believed； his mother must have tracked us to
London； tracked us to the church； tracked us to the railway
station； tracked us to Ramsgate！ To assert that she knew me by
sight as the wife of Eustace； and that she had waited on the
sands and dropped her letter for the express purpose of making
acquaintance with me； was also to assert every one of these
monstrous probabilities to be facts that had actually happened！
I could say no more。 I walked by his side in silence； feeling the
miserable conviction that there was an abyss in the shape of a
family secret between my husband and me。 In the spirit； if not in
the body； we were separated； after a married life of barely four
days。
〃Valeria；〃 he asked； 〃have you nothing to say to me？〃
〃Nothing。〃
〃Are you not satisfied with my explanation？〃
I detected a slight tremor in his voice as he put that question。
The tone was； for the first time since we had spoken together； a
tone that my experience associated with him in certain moods of
his which I had already learned to know well。 Among the hundred
thousand mysterious influences which a man exercises over a woman
who loves him； I doubt if there is any more irresistible to her
than the influence of his voice。 I am not one of those women who
shed tears on the smallest provocation： it is not in my
temperament； I suppose。 But when I heard that little natural
change in his tone my mind went back （I can't say why） to the
happy day when I first owned that I loved him。 I burst out
crying。
He suddenly stood still； and took me by the hand。 He tried to
look at me。
I kept my head down and my eyes on the ground。 I was ashamed of
my weakness and my want of spirit。 I was determined not to look
at him。
In the silence that followed he suddenly dropped on his knees at
my feet； with a cry of despair that cut through me like a knife。
〃Valeria！ I am vileI am falseI am unworthy of you。 Don't
believe a word of what I have been sayinglies； lies； cowardly；
contemptible lies！ You don't know what I have gone through； you
don't know how I have been tortured。 Oh； my darling； try not to
despise me！ I must have been beside myself when I spoke to you as
I did。 You looked hurt； you looked offended； I didn't know what
to do。 I wanted to spare you even a moment's painI wanted to
hush it up； and have done with it。 For God's sake don't ask me to
tell you any more！ My love！ my angel！ it's something between my
mother and me； it's nothing that need disturb you； it's nothing
to anybody now。 I love you； I adore you； my whole heart and soul
are yours。 Be satisfied with that。 Forget what has happened。 You
shall never see my mother again。 We will leave this place
to…morrow。 We will go away in the yacht。 Does it matter where we
live； so long as we live for each other？ Forgive and forget！ Oh；
Valeria； Valeria； forgive and forget！〃
Unutterable misery was in his face； unutterable misery was in his
voice。 Remember this。 And remember that I loved him。
〃It is easy to forgive；〃 I said； sadly。 〃For your sake； Eustace；
I will try to forget。〃
I raised him gently as I spoke。 He kissed my hands with the air
of a man who was too humble to venture on any more familiar
expression of his gratitude than that。 The sense of embarrassment
between us as we slowly walked on again was so unendurable that I
actually cast about in my mind for a subject of conversation； as
if I had been in the company of a stranger！ In mercy to _him_； I
asked him to tell me about the yacht。
He seized on the subject as a drowning man seizes on the hand
that rescues him。
On that one poor little topic of the yacht he talked； talked；
talked； as if his life depended upon his not being silent for an
instant on the rest of the way back。 To me it was dreadful to
hear him。 I could estimate what he was suffering by the violence
which heordinarily a silent and thoughtful manwas now doing
to his true nature； and to the prejudices and habits of his life。
With the greatest difficulty I preserved my self…control