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himself to be still living with me under those dreaded
conditions。 Do what he might； I was always recalling to him the
terrible ordeal through which he had passed。 He acted his part；
and he acted mine。 He gave me a cup of tea； and I said to him；
〃We quarreled yesterday； Eustace。 Is it poisoned？〃 He kissed me；
in token of our reconciliation； and I laughed； and said； 〃It's
morning now； my dear。 Shall I die by nine o'clock to…night？〃 I
was ill in bed； and he gave me my medicine。 I looked at him with
a doubting eye。 I said to him； 〃You are in love with another
woman。 Is there anything in the medicine that the doctor doesn't
know of？〃 Such was the horrible drama which now perpetually acted
itself in his mind。 Hundreds and hundreds of times I heard him
repeat it； almost always in the same words。 On other occasions
his thoughts wandered away to my desperate project of proving him
to be an innocent man。 Sometimes he laughed at it。 Sometimes he
mourned over it。 Sometimes he devised cunning schemes for placing
unsuspected obstacles in my way。 He was especially hard on me
when he was inventing his preventive stratagemshe cheerfully
instructed the visionary people who assisted him not to hesitate
at offending or distressing me。 〃Never mind if you make her
angry； never mind if you make her cry。 It's all for her good；
it's all to save the poor fool from dangers she doesn't dream of。
You mustn't pity her when she says she does it for my sake。 See！
she is going to be insulted； she is going to be deceived； she is
going to disgrace herself without knowing it。 Stop her！ stop
her！〃 It was weak of me； I know； I ought to have kept the plain
fact that he was out of his senses always present to my mind：
still it is true that my hours passed at my husband's pillow were
many of them hours of mortification and misery of which he； poor
dear； was the innocent and only cause。
The weeks passed； and he still hovered between life and death。
I kept no record of the time； and I cannot now recall the exact
date on which the first favorable change took place。 I only
remember that it was toward sunrise on a fine winter morning when
we were relieved at last of our heavy burden of suspense。 The
surgeon happened to be by the bedside when his patient awoke。 The
first thing he did； after looking at Eustace； was to caution me
by a sign to be silent and to keep out of sight。 My mother…in…law
and I both knew what this meant。 With full hearts we thanked God
together for giving us back the husband and the son。
The same evening； being alone； we ventured to speak of the
futurefor the first time since we had left home。
〃The surgeon tells me；〃 said Mrs。 Macallan； 〃that Eustace is too
weak to be capable of bearing anything in the nature of a
surprise for some days to come。 We have time to consider whether
he is or is not to be told that he owes his life as much to your
care as to mine。 Can you find it in your heart to leave him；
Valeria； now that God's mercy has restored him to you and to me？〃
〃If I only consulted my own heart；〃 I answered； 〃I should never
leave him again。〃
Mrs。 Macallan looked at me in grave surprise。
〃What else have you to consult？〃 she asked。
〃If we both live；〃 I repli ed； 〃I have to think of the happiness
of his life and the happiness of mine in the years that are to
come。 I can bear a great deal； mother； but I cannot endure the
misery of his leaving me for the second time。〃
〃You wrong him； ValeriaI firmly believe you wrong himin
thinking it possible that he can leave you again。〃
〃Dear Mrs。 Macallan； have you forgotten already what we have both
heard him say of me while we have been sitting by his bedside？〃
〃We have heard the ravings of a man in delirium。 It is surely
hard to hold Eustace responsible for what he said when he was out
of his senses。〃
〃It is harder still；〃 I said； 〃to resist his mother when she is
pleading for him。 Dearest and best of friends！ I don't hold
Eustace responsible for what he said in the feverbut I _do_
take warning by it。 The wildest words that fell from him were；
one and all； the faithful echo of what he said to me in the best
days of his health and his strength。 What hope have I that he
will recover with an altered mind toward me？ Absence has not
changed it； suffering has not changed it。 In the delirium of
fever； and in the full possession of his reason； he has the same
dreadful doubt of me。 I see but one way of winning him back： I
must destroy at its root his motive for leaving me。 It is
hopeless to persuade him that I believe in his innocence： I must
show him that belief is no longer necessary； I must prove to him
that his position toward me has become the position of an
innocent man！〃
〃Valeria！ Valeria！ you are wasting time and words。 You have tried
the experiment； and you know as well as I do that the thing is
not to be done。〃
I had no answer to that。 I could say no more than I had said
already。
〃Suppose you go back to Dexter； out of sheer compassion for a mad
and miserable wretch who has already insulted you；〃 proceeded my
mother…in…law。 〃You can only go back accompanied by me； or by
some other trustworthy person。 You can only stay long enough to
humor the creature's wayward fancy； and to keep his crazy brain
quiet for a time。 That done； all is doneyou leave him。 Even
supposing Dexter to be still capable of helping you； how can you
make use of him but by admitting him to terms of confidence and
familiarityby treating him； in short； on the footing of an
intimate friend？ Answer me honestly： can you bring yourself to do
that； after what happened at Mr。 Benjamin's house？〃
I had told her of my last interview with Miserrimus Dexter； in
the natural confidence that she inspired in me as relative and
fellow…traveler； and this was the use to which she turned her
information！ I suppose I had no right to blame her； I suppose the
motive sanctioned everything。 At any rate； I had no choice but to
give offense or to give an answer。 I gave it。 I acknowledged that
I could never again permit Miserrimus Dexter to treat me on terms
of familiarity as a trusted and intimate friend。
Mrs。 Macallan pitilessly pressed the advantage that she had won。
〃Very well；〃 she said； 〃that resource being no longer open to
you； what hope is left？ Which way are you to turn next？〃
There was no meeting those questions； in my present situation； by
any adequate reply。 I felt strangely unlike myselfI submitted
in silence。 Mrs。 Macallan struck the last blow that completed her
victory。
〃My poor Eustace is weak and wayward；〃 she said； 〃but he is not
an ungrateful man。 My child； you have returned him good for
evilyou have proved how faithfully and how devotedly you love
him； by suffering all hardships and risking all dangers for his
sake。 Trust me； and trust him！ He cannot resist you。 Let him see
the dear face that he has been dreaming of looking at him again
with all the old love in it； and he is yours once more； my
daughteryours for life。〃 She rose and touched my forehead with
her lips； her voice sank to tones of tenderness which I had never
heard from her yet。 〃Say yes； Valeria；〃 she whispered； 〃and be
dearer to me and dearer to him than ever！〃
My heart sided with her。 My energies were worn out。 No letter had
arrived from Mr。 Playmore to guide and to encourage me。 I had
resisted so long and so vainly； I had tried and suffered so much；
I had met with such cruel disasters and such reiterated
disappointmentsand he was in the room beneath me； feebly
finding his way back to consciousness and to lifehow could I
resist？ It was all over。 In saying Yes （if Eustace confirmed his
mother's confidence in him）； I was saying adieu to the one
cherished ambition； the one dear and noble hope of my life。 I
knew itand I said Yes。
And so good…by to the grand struggle！ And so welcome to the new
resignation which owned that I had failed。
My mother…in…law and I slept together under the only shelter
that the inn could offer to usa sort of loft at the top of the
house。 The night that followed our conversation was bitterly
cold。 We felt the chilly temperature； in spite of the protection
of our dressing…gowns and our traveling…wrappers。 My
mother…in…law slept； but no rest came to me。 I was too anxious
and too wretched； thinking over my changed position； and doubting
how my husband would receive me； to be able to sleep。
Some hours； as I suppose； must have passed； and I was still
absorbed in my own melancholy thoughts； when I suddenly became
conscious of a new and strange sensation which astonished and
alarmed me。 I started up in the bed； breathless and bewildered。
The movement awakened Mrs。 Macallan。 〃Are you ill？〃 she asked。
〃What is the matter with you？〃 I tried to tell her； as well as I
could。 She seemed to understand me before I had done； she took me
tenderly in her arms； and pressed me to her bosom。 〃My poor
innocent child；〃 she said； 〃is it possible you don't know？ Must I
really tell you？〃 She whispered her next words。 Shall I ever
forget the tumult of feelings which the whisper aroused in
methe strange medley of joy and fear； and wonder and relief；
and pride and humility； which filled my whole being； and ma