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to his true nature； and to the prejudices and habits of his life。
With the greatest difficulty I preserved my self…control until we
reached the door of our lodgings。 There I was obliged to plead
fatigue； and ask him to let me rest for a little while in the
solitude of my own room。
〃Shall we sail to…morrow？〃 he called after me suddenly； as I
ascended the stairs。
Sail with him to the Mediterranean the next day？ Pass weeks and
weeks absolutely alone with him； in the narrow limits of a
vessel； with his horrible secret parting us in sympathy further
and further from each other day by day？ I shuddered at the
thought of it。
〃To…morrow is rather a short notice；〃 I said。 〃Will you give me a
little longer time to prepare for the voyage？〃
〃Oh yestake any time you like；〃 he answered； not （as I thought）
very willingly。 〃While you are restingthere are still one or
two little things to be settledI think I will go back to the
yacht。 Is there anything I can do for you； Valeria； before I go？〃
〃Nothingthank you； Eustace。〃
He hastened away to the harbor。 Was he afraid of his own
thoughts； if he were left by himself in the house。 Was the
company of the sailing…master and the steward better than no
company at all？
It was useless to ask。 What did I know about him or his thoughts？
I locked myself into my room。
CHAPTER V。
THE LANDLADY'S DISCOVERY。
I SAT down； and tried to compose my spirits。 Now or never was
the time to decide what it was my duty to my husband and my duty
to myself to do next。
The effort was beyond me。 Worn out in mind and body alike； I was
perfectly incapable of pursuing any regular train of thought。 I
vaguely feltif I left things as they werethat I could never
hope to remove the shadow which now rested on the married life
that had begun so brightly。 We might live together； so as to save
appearances。 But to forget what had happened； or to feel
satisfied with my position； was beyond the power of my will。 My
tranquillity as a womanperhaps my dearest interests as a
wifedepended absolutely on penetrating the mystery of my
mother…in…law's conduct； and on discovering the true meaning of
the wild words of penitence and self…reproach which my husband
had addressed to me on our way home。
So far I could advance toward realizing my positionand no
further。 When I asked myself what was to be done next； hopeless
confusion； maddening doubt； filled my mind； and transformed me
into the most listless and helpless of living women。
I gave up the struggle。 In dull； stupid； obstinate despair； I
threw myself on my bed； and fell from sheer fatigue into a
broken； uneasy sleep。
I was awakened by a knock at the door of my room。
Was it my husband？ I started to my feet as the idea occurred to
me。 Was some new trial of my patience and my fortitude at hand？
Half nervously； half irritably； I asked who was there。
The landlady's voice answered me。
〃Can I speak to you for a moment； if you please？〃
I opened the door。 There is no
disguising itthough I loved him so dearly； though I had left
home and friends for his sakeit was a relief to me； at that
miserable time； to know that Eustace had not returned to the
house。
The landlady came in； and took a seat； without waiting to be
invited； close by my side。 She was no longer satisfied with
merely asserting herself as my equal。 Ascending another step on
the social ladder； she took her stand on the platform of
patronage； and charitably looked down on me as an object of pity。
〃I have just returned from Broadstairs；〃 she began。 〃I hope you
will do me the justice to believe that I sincerely regret what
has happened。〃
I bowed； and said nothing。
〃As a gentlewoman myself；〃 proceeded the landlady〃reduced by
family misfortunes to let lodgings； but still a gentlewomanI
feel sincere sympathy with you。 I will even go further than that。
I will take it on myself to say that I don't blame _you_。 No； no。
I noticed that you were as much shocked and surprised at your
mother…in…law's conduct as I was； and that is saying a great
deala great deal indeed。 However； I have a duty to perform。 It
is disagreeable； but it is not the less a duty on that account。 I
am a single woman； not from want of opportunities of changing my
conditionI beg you will understand thatbut from choice。
Situated as I am； I receive only the most respectable persons
into my house。 There must be no mystery about the positions of
_my_ lodgers。 Mystery in the position of a lodger carries with
itwhat shall I say？ I don't wish to offend youI will say； a
certain Taint。 Very well。 Now I put it to your own common…sense。
Can a person in my position be expected to expose herself
toTaint？ I make these remarks in a sisterly and Christian
spirit。 As a lady yourselfI will even go the length of saying a
cruelly used ladyyou will； I am sure； understand〃
I could endure it no longer。 I stopped her there。
〃I understand；〃 I said； 〃that you wish to give us notice to quit
your lodgings。 When do you want us to go？〃
The landlady held up a long； lean； red hand； in a sorrowful and
sisterly protest。
〃No；〃 she said。 〃Not that tone； not those looks。 It's natural you
should be annoyed； it's natural you should be angry。 But donow
do please try and control yourself。 I put it to your own
common…sense （we will say a week for the notice to quit）why not
treat me like a friend？ You don't know what a sacrifice； what a
cruel sacrifice； I have madeentirely for your sake。
〃You？〃 I exclaimed。 〃What sacrifice？〃
〃What sacrifice？〃 repeated the landlady。 〃I have degraded myself
as a gentlewoman。 I have forfeited my own self…respect。〃 She
paused for a moment； and suddenly seized my hand in a perfect
frenzy of friendship。 〃Oh； my poor dear！〃 cried this intolerable
person。 〃I have discovered everything。 A villain has deceived
you。 You are no more married than I am！〃
I snatched my hand out of hers； and rose angrily from my chair。
〃Are you mad？〃 I asked。
The landlady raised her eyes to the ceiling with the air of a
person who had deserved martyrdom； and who submitted to it
cheerfully。
〃Yes；〃 she said。 〃I begin to think I _am_ madmad to have
devoted myself to an ungrateful woman； to a person who doesn't
appreciate a sisterly and Christian sacrifice of self。 Well； I
won't do it again。 Heaven forgive meI won't do it again！〃
〃Do what again？〃 I asked。
〃Follow your mother…in…law；〃 cried the landlady； suddenly
dropping the character of a martyr； and assuming the character of
a vixen in its place。 〃I blush when I think of it。 I followed
that most respectable person every step of the way to her own
door。〃
Thus far my pride had held me up。 It sustained me no longer。 I
dropped back again into my chair； in undisguised dread of what
was coming next。
〃I gave you a look when I left you on the beach；〃 pursued the
landlady； growing louder and louder and redder and redder as she
went on。 〃A grateful woman would have understood that look。 Never
mind！ I won't do it again I overtook your mother…in…law at the
gap in the cliff。 I followed heroh； how I feel the disgrace of
it _now！_I followed her to the station at Broadstairs。 She went
back by train to Ramsgate。 _I_ went back by train to Ramsgate。
She walked to her lodgings。 _I_ walked to her lodgings。 Behind
her。 Like a dog。 Oh； the disgrace of it！ Providentially； as I
then thoughtI don't know what to think of it nowthe landlord
of the house happened to be a friend of mine； and happened to be
at home。 We have no secrets from each other where lodgers are
concerned。 I am in a position to tell you； madam； what your
mother…in…law's name really is。 She knows nothing about any such
person as Mrs。 Woodville； for an excellent reason。 Her name is
_not_ Woodville。 Her name （and consequently her son's name） is
MacallanMrs。 Macallan； widow of the late General Macallan。 Yes！
your husband is _not_ your husband。 You are neither maid； wife；
nor widow。 You are worse than nothing； madam； and you leave my
house！〃
I stopped her as she opened the door to go out。 She had roused
_my_ temper by this time。 The doubt that she had cast on my
marriage was more than mortal resignation could endure。
〃Give me Mrs。 Macallan's address；〃 I said。
The landlady's anger receded into the background； and the
landlady's astonishment appeared in its place。
〃You don't mean to tell me you are going to the old lady
herself？〃 she said。
〃Nobody but the old lady can tell me what I want to know；〃 I
answered。 〃Your discovery （as you call it） may be enough for
_you_； it is not enough for _me_。 How do we know that Mrs。
Macallan may not have been twice married？ and that her first
husband's name may not have been Woodville？〃
The landlady's astonishment subsided in its turn； and the
landlady's curiosity succeeded as the ruling influence of the
moment。 Substantially； as I have already said of her； she was a
good…natured woman。 Her fits of temper （as is usual with
good…natured people） were of the hot and the short…lived sort；
easily roused and easily appeased。
〃I never thought of that；〃 she said。 〃Look here！ if I give you
the address； will you promise to tell me all about it when you
come back？〃
I gave the required