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answer to his proposals。 Has this false wretch any conscience？ If
he has； even he will sufferwhen my death answers him。
〃The nurse has been in my room again。 I have sent her away。 I
have told her I want to be alone。
〃How is the time going？ I cannot find my watch。 Is the pain
coming back again and paralyzing me？ I don't feel it keenly yet。
〃It may come back； though； at any moment。 I have still to close
my letter and to address it to you。 And； besides； I must save up
my strength to hide it under the pillow； so that nobody may find
it until after my death。
〃Farewell； my dear。 I wish I had been a prettier woman。 A more
loving woman （toward you） I could not be。 Even now I dread the
sight of your dear face。 Even now； if I allowed myself the luxury
of looking at you； I don't know that you might not charm me into
confessing what I have donebefore it is too late to save me。
〃But you are not here。 Better as it is！ better as it is！
〃Once more； farewell！ Be happier than you have been with me。 I
love you； EustaceI forgive you。 When you have nothing else to
think about； think sometimes； as kindly as you can； of your poor；
ugly
〃SARA MACALLAN。〃*
… * Note by Mr。 Playmore：
The lost words and phrases supplied in this concluding portion of
the letter are so few in number that it is needless to mention
them。 The fragments which were found accidentally stuck together
by the gum； and which represent the part of the letter first
completely reconstructed； begin at the phrase； 〃I spoke of you
shamefully； Eustace；〃 and end with the broken sentence； 〃If in
paying me this little attention； you only encouraged me by one
fond word or one fond look； I resolved not to take〃 With the
assistance thus afforded to us； the labor of putting together the
concluding half of the letter （dated 〃October 20〃） was trifling；
compared with the almost insurmountable difficulties which we
encountered in dealing with the scattered wreck of the preceding
pages。 …
CHAPTER XLVIII。
WHAT ELSE COULD I DO？
As soon as I could dry my eyes and compose my spirits after
reading the wife's pitiable and dreadful farewell； my first
thought was of Eustacemy first anxiety was to prevent him from
ever reading what I had read。
Yes！ to this end it had come。 I had devoted my life to the
attainment of one object； and that object I had gained。 There； on
the table before me； lay the triumphant vindication of my
husband's innocence； and； in mercy to him； in mercy to the memory
of his dead wife； my one hope was that he might never see it！ my
one desire was to hide it from the public view！
I looked back at the strange circumstances under which the letter
had been discovered。
It was all my doingas the lawyer had said。 And yet； what I had
done； I had； so to speak； done blindfold。 The merest accident
might have altered the whole course of later events。 I had over
and over again interfered to check Ariel when she entreated the
Master to 〃tell her a story。〃 If she had not succeeded； in spite
of my opposition； Miserrimus Dexter's last effort of memory might
never have been directed to the tragedy at Gleninch。 And； again；
if I had only remembered to move my chair； and so to give
Benjamin the signal to leave off； he would never have written
down the apparently senseless words which have led us to the
discovery of the truth。
Looking back at events in this frame of mind； the very sight of
the letter sickened and horrified me。 I cursed the day which had
disinterred the fragments of it from their foul tomb。 Just at the
time when Eustace had found his weary way back to health and
strength； just at the time when we were united again and happy
againwhen a month or two more might make us father and mother；
as well as husband and wifethat frightful record of suffering
and sin had risen against us like an avenging spirit。 There it
faced me on the table； threatening my husband's tranqu illity；
nay； for all I knew （if he read it at the present critical stage
of his recovery） even threatening his life！
The hour struck from the clock on the mantelpiece。 It was
Eustace's time for paying me his morning visit in my own little
room。 He might come in at any moment； he might see the letter； he
might snatch the letter out of my hand。 In a frenzy of terror and
loathing； I caught up the vile sheets of paper and threw them
into the fire。
It was a fortunate thing that a copy only had been sent to me。 If
the original letter had been in its place； I believe I should
have burned the original at that moment。
The last morsel of paper had been barely consumed by the flames
when the door opened； and Eustace came in。
He glanced at the fire。 The black cinders of the burned paper
were still floating at the back of the grate。 He had seen the
letter brought to me at the breakfast…table。 Did he suspect what
I had done？ He said nothinghe stood gravely looking into the
fire。 Then he advanced and fixed his eyes on me。 I suppose I was
very pale。 The first words he spoke were words which asked me if
I felt ill。
I was determined not to deceive him； even in the merest trifle。
〃I am feeling a little nervous； Eustace；〃 I answered； 〃that is
all。〃
He looked at me again； as if he expected me to say something
more。 I remained silent。 He took a letter out of the
breast…pocket of his coat and laid it on the table before
mejust where the Confession had lain before I destroyed it！
〃I have had a letter too this morning；〃 he said。 〃And _I；_
Valeria； have no secrets from _you。_〃
I understood the reproach which my husband's last words conveyed；
but I made no attempt to answer him。
〃Do you wish me to read it？〃 was all I said pointing to the
envelope which he had laid on the table。
〃I have already said that I have no secrets from you；〃 he
repeated。 〃The envelope is open。 See for yourself what is
inclosed in it。〃
I took outnot a letter； but a printed paragraph； cut from a
Scotch newspaper。
〃Read it；〃 said Eustace。
I read as follows：
〃STRANGE DOINGS AT GLENINCHA romance in real life seems to be
in course of progress at Mr。 Macallan's country…house。 Private
excavations are taking placeif our readers will pardon us the
unsavory allusionat the dust…heap； of all places in the world！
Something has assuredly been discovered； but nobody knows what。
This alone is certain： For weeks past two strangers from London
（superintended by our respected fellow…citizen； Mr。 Playmore）
have been at work night and day in the library at Gleninch； with
the door locked。 Will the secret ever be revealed？ And will it
throw any light on a mysterious and shocking event which our
readers have learned to associate with the past history of
Gleninch？ Perhaps when Mr。 Macallan returns； he may be able to
answer these questions。 In the meantime we can only await
events。〃
I laid the newspaper slip on the table； in no very Christian
frame of mind toward the persons concerned in producing it。 Some
reporter in search of news had evidently been prying about the
grounds at Gleninch； and some busy…body in the neighborhood had
in all probability sent the published paragraph to Eustace。
Entirely at a loss what to do； I waited for my husband to speak。
He did not keep me in suspensehe questioned me instantly。
〃Do you understand what it means； Valeria？〃
I answered honestlyI owned that I understood what it meant。
He waited again； as if he expected me to say more。 I still kept
the only refuge left to methe refuge of silence。
〃Am I to know no more than I know now？〃 he proceeded； after an
interval。 〃Are you not bound to tell me what is going on in my
own house？〃
It is a common remark that people； if they can think at all；
think quickly in emergencies。 There was but one way out of the
embarrassing position in which my husband's last words had placed
me。 My instincts showed me the way； I suppose。 At any rate； I
took it。
〃You have promised to trust me；〃 I began。
He admitted that he had promised。
〃I must ask you； for your own sake； Eustace； to trust me for a
little while longer。 I will satisfy you； if you will only give me
time。〃
His face darkened。 〃How much longer must I wait？〃 he asked。
I saw that the time had come for trying some stronger form of
persuasion than words。
〃Kiss me；〃 I said； 〃before I tell you！〃
He hesitated （so like a husband！）。 And I persisted （so like a
wife！）。 There was no choice for him but to yield。 Having given me
my kiss （not over…graciously）； he insisted once more on knowing
how much longer I wanted him to wait。
〃I want you to wait；〃 I answered； 〃until our child is born。〃
He started。 My condition took him by surprise。 I gently pressed
his hand； and gave him a look。 He returned the look （warmly
enough； this time； to satisfy me）。 〃Say you consent；〃 I
whispered。
He consented。
So I put off the day of reckoning once more。 So I gained time to
consult again with Benjamin and Mr。 Playmore。
While Eustace remained with me in the room； I was composed； and
capable of talking to him。 But when he left me； after a time； to
think over what had passed between us； and to remember how kindly
he had given way to me； my heart turned pityin