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think over what had passed between us； and to remember how kindly
he had given way to me； my heart turned pityingly to those other
wives （better women； some of them； than I am）； whose husbands；
under similar circumstances； would have spoken hard words to
themwould perhaps even have acted more cruelly still。 The
contrast thus suggested between their fate and mine quite
overcame me。 What had I done to deserve my happiness？ What had
_they_ done； poor souls； to deserve their misery？ My nerves were
overwrought； I dare says after reading the dreadful confession of
Eustace's first wife。 I burst out cryingand I was all the
better for it afterward！
CHAPTER XLIX。
PAST AND FUTURE。
I write from memory； unassisted by notes or diaries； and I have
no distinct recollection of the length of our residence abroad。
It certainly extended over a period of some months。 Long after
Eustace was strong enough to take the journey to London the
doctors persisted in keeping him in Paris。 He had shown symptoms
of weakness in one of his lungs； and his medical advisers； seeing
that he prospered in the dry atmosphere of France； warned him to
be careful of breathing too soon the moist air of his own
country。
Thus it happened that we were still in Paris when I received my
next news from Gleninch。
This time no letters passed on either side。 To my surprise and
delight； Benjamin quietly made his appearance one morning in our
pretty French drawing…room。 He was so preternaturally smart in
his dress； and so incomprehensibly anxious （while my husband was
in the way） to make us understand that his reasons for visiting
Paris were holiday reasons only； that I at once suspected him of
having crossed the Channel in a double charactersay； as tourist
in search of pleasure； when third persons were present； as
ambassador from Mr。 Playmore； when he and I had the room to
ourselves。
Later in the day I contrived that we should be left together； and
I soon found that my anticipations had not misled me。 Benjamin
had set out for Paris； at Mr。 Playmore's express request； to
consult with me as to the future； and to enlighten me as to the
past。 He presented me with his credentials in the shape of a
little note from the lawyer。
〃There are some few points〃 （Mr。 Playmore wrote） 〃which the
recovery of the letter does not seem to clear up。 I have done my
best； with Mr。 Benjamin's assistance； to find the right
explanation of these debatable matters； and I have treated the
subject； for the sake of brevity； in the form of Questions and
Answers。 Will you accept me as interpreter； after the mistakes I
made when you consulted me in Edinburgh？ Events； I admit； have
proved that I was entirely wrong in trying to prevent you from
returning to Dexterand partially wrong in suspecting Dexter of
being directly； instead of indirectly； answerable for the first
Mrs。 Eustace's death。 I frankly make my confession； and leave you
to tell Mr。 Benjamin whether you think my new Catechism worthy of
examination or not。〃
I thought his 〃new Catechism〃 （as he called it） decidedly worthy
of examination。 If you don't ag ree with this view； and if you
are dying to be done with me and my narrative； pass on to the
next chapter by all means！
Benjamin produced the Questions and Answers； and read them to me；
at my request； in these terms：
〃Questions suggested by the letter discovered at Gleninch。 First
Group： Questions relating to the Diary。 First Question： obtaining
access to Mr。 Macallan's private journal； was Miserrimus Dexter
guided by any previous knowledge of its contents？
〃Answer： It is doubtful if he had any such knowledge。 The
probabilities are that he noticed how carefully Mr。 Macallan
secured his Diary from observation； that he inferred therefrom
the existence of dangerous domestic secrets in the locked…up
pages； and that he speculated on using those secrets for his own
purpose when he caused the false keys to be made。
〃Second Question： To what motive are we to attribute Miserrimus
Dexter's interference with the sheriff's officers； on the day
when they seized Mr。 Macallan's Diary along with his other
papers？
〃Answer： In replying to this question； we must first do justice
to Dexter himself。 Infamously as we now know him to have acted；
the man was not a downright fiend。 That he secretly hated Mr。
Macallan； as his successful rival in the affections of the woman
he lovedand that he did all he could to induce the unhappy lady
to desert her husbandare； in this case； facts not to be denied。
On the other hand； it is fairly to be doubted whether he were
additionally capable of permitting the friend who trusted him to
be tried for murder； through his fault； without making an effort
to save the innocent man。 It had naturally never occurred to Mr。
Macallan （being guiltless of his wife's death） to destroy his
Diary and his letters； in the fear that they might be used
against him。 Until the prompt and secret action of the Fiscal
took him by surprise； the idea of his being charged with the
murder of his wife was an idea which we know； from his own
statement； had never even entered his mind。 But Dexter must have
looked at the matter from another point of view。 In his last
wandering words （spoken when his mind broke down） he refers to
the Diary in these terms； 'The Diary will hang him； I won't have
him hanged。' If he could have found his opportunity of getting at
it in timeor if the sheriff's officers had not been too quick
for himthere can be no reasonable doubt that Dexter would have
himself destroyed the Diary； foreseeing the consequences of its
production in court。 So strongly does he appear to have felt
these considerations； that he even resisted the officers in the
execution of their duty。 His agitation when he sent for Mr。
Playmore to interfere was witnessed by that gentleman； and （it
may not be amiss to add） was genuine agitation beyond dispute。
〃Questions of the Second Group： relating to the Wife's
Confession。 First Question： What prevented Dexter from destroying
the letter； when he first discovered it under the dead woman's
pillow？
〃Answer： The same motives which led him to resist the seizure of
the Diary； and to give his evidence in the prisoner's favor at
the Trial； induced him to preserve the letter until the verdict
was known。 Looking back once more at his last words （as taken
down by Mr。 Benjamin）； we may infer that if the verdict had been
Guilty； he would not have hesitated to save the innocent husband
by producing the wife's confession。 There are degrees in all
wickedness。 Dexter was wicked enough to suppress the letter；
which wounded his vanity by revealing him as an object for
loathing and contemptbut he was not wicked enough deliberately
to let an innocent man perish on the scaffold。 He was capable of
exposing the rival whom he hated to the infamy and torture of a
public accusation of murder； but； in the event of an adverse
verdict； he shrank before the direr cruelty of letting him be
hanged。 Reflect； in this connection； on what he must have
suffered； villain as he was； when he first read the wife's
confession。 He had calculated on undermining her affection for
her husbandand whither had his calculations led him？ He had
driven the woman whom he loved to the last dreadful refuge of
death by suicide！ Give these considerations their due weight； and
you will understand that some little redeeming virtue might show
itself； as the result even of _this_ man's remorse。
〃Second Question： What motive influenced Miserrimus Dexter's
conduct； when Mrs。 （Valeria） Macallan informed him that she
proposed reopening the inquiry into the poisoning at Gleninch？
〃Answer： In all probability； Dexter's guilty fears suggested to
him that he might have been watched on the morning when he
secretly entered the chamber in which the first Mrs。 Eustace lay
dead。 Feeling no scruples himself to restrain him from listening
at doors and looking through keyholes； he would be all the more
ready to suspect other people of the same practices。 With this
dread in him； it would naturally occur to his mind that Mrs。
Valeria might meet with the person who had watched him； and might
hear all that the person had discoveredunless he led her astray
at the outset of her investigations。 Her own jealous suspicions
of Mrs。 Beauly offered him the chance of easily doing this。 And
he was all the readier to profit by the chance； being himself
animated by the most hostile feeling toward that lady。 He knew
her as the enemy who destroyed the domestic peace of the mistress
of the house； he loved the mistress of the houseand he hated
her enemy accordingly。 The preservation of his guilty secret； and
the persecution of Mrs。 Beauly： there you have the greater and
the lesser motive of his conduct in his relations with Mrs。
Eustace the second！〃*
… * Note by the writer of the
Narrative：
Look back for a further illustration of this point of view to the
scene at Benjamin's house （Chapter XXXV。）； where Dexter； in a
moment of ungovernable agitation； betrays his own secret to
Valeria。 …
Benjamin laid down his notes； and took off his spectacles。
〃We have not thought it necessary to go further tha