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Laurent might be searching for me。 The thought of it made me feel sick。
〃Are you hungry？〃 he asked me when he hung up the phone。
I shook my head； though I must have been starving。 I hadn't eaten all day。
〃Just tired；〃 I told him。 I turned for the stairs。
〃Hey；〃 Charlie said； his voice suddenly suspicious again。 〃Didn't you say Jacob was gone for the day？〃
〃That's what Billy said；〃 I told him； confused by his question。
He studied my expression for a minute； and seemed satisfied with what he saw there。
〃Huh。〃
〃Why？〃 I demanded。 It sounded like he was implying that I'd been lying to him this morning。 About
something besides studying with Jessica。
〃Well； it's just that when I went to pick up Harry； I saw Jacob out in front of the store down there with
some of his friends。 I waved hi； but he… well； I guess I don't know if he saw me。 I think maybe he was
arguing with his friends。 He looked strange； like he was upset about something。 And… different。 It's like
you can watch that kid growing！ He gets bigger every time I see him。〃
〃Billy said Jake and his friends were going up to Port Angeles to see some movies。 They were probably
just waiting for someone to meet them。〃
〃Oh。〃 Charlie nodded and headed for the kitchen。
I stood in the hall； thinking about Jacob arguing with his friends。 I wondered if he had confronted Embry
about the situation with Sam。 Maybe that was the reason he'd ditched me today—if it meant he could
sort things out with Embry； I was glad he had。
I paused to check the locks again before I went to my room。 It was a silly thing to do。 What difference
would a lock make to any of the monsters I'd seen this afternoon？ I assumed the handle alone would
stymie the wolves； not having opposable thumbs。 And if Laurent came here…
Or… Victoria。
I lay down on my bed； but I was shaking too hard to hope for sleep。 I curled into a cramped ball under
my quilt； and faced the horrifying facts。
There was nothing I could do。 There were no precautions I could take。 There was no place I could hide。
There was no one who could help me。
I realized； with a nauseous roll of my stomach； that the situation was worse than even that。 Because all
those facts applied to Charlie； too。 My father； sleeping one room away from me； was just a hairsbreadth
off the heart of the target that was centered on me。 My scent would lead them here； whether I was here
or not。
The tremors rocked me until my teeth chattered。
To calm myself； I fantasized the impossible： I imagined the big wolves catching up to Laurent in the
woods and massacring the indestructible immortal the way they would any normal person。 Despite the
absurdity of such a vision； the idea comforted me。 If the wolves got him； then he couldn't tell Victoria I
was here all alone。 If he didn't return； maybe she'd think the Cullens were still protecting me。 If only the
wolves could win such a fight…
My good vampires were never coming back； how soothing it was to imagine that the other kind could
also disappear。
I squeezed my eyes tight together and waited for unconsciousness—almost eager for my nightmare to
start。 Better that than the pale； beautiful face that smiled at me now from behind my lids。
In my imagination； Victoria's eyes were black with thirst； bright with anticipation； and her lips curled back
from her gleaming teeth in pleasure。 Her red hair was brilliant as fire； it blew chaotically around her wild
face。
Laurent's words repeated in my head。 If you knew what she had planned for you …
I pressed my fist against my mouth to keep from screaming。
11。 CULT
EACH TIME THAT I OPENED MY EYES TO THE MORNING light and realized I'd lived through
another night was a surprise to me。 After the surprise wore off； my heart would start to race and my
palms would sweat； I couldn't really breathe again until I'd gotten up and ascertained that Charlie had
survived as well。
I could tell he was worried—watching me jump at any loud sound； or my face suddenly go white for no
reason that he could see。 From the questions he asked now and then； he seemed to blame the change on
Jacob's continued absence。
The terror that was always foremost in my thoughts usually distracted me from the fact that another week
had passed； and Jacob still hadn't called me。 But when I was able to concentrate on my normal life—if
my life was really ever normal—this upset me。
I missed him horribly。
It had been bad enough to be alone before I was scared silly。 Now； more than ever； I yearned for his
carefree laugh and his infectious grin。 I needed the safe sanity of his homemade garage and his warm
hand around my cold fingers。
I'd half expected him to call on Monday。 If there had been some progress with Embry； wouldn't he want
to report it？ I wanted to believe that it was worry for his friend that was occupying all his time； not that he
was just giving up on me。
I called him Tuesday； but no one answered。 Were the phone lines still having problems？ Or had Billy
invested in caller I。D。？
On Wednesday I called every half hour until after eleven at night； desperate to hear the warmth of
Jacob's voice。
Thursday I sat in my truck in front of my house—with the locks pushed down—keys in hand； for a solid
hour。 I was arguing with myself； trying to justify a quick trip to La Push； but I couldn't do it。
I knew that Laurent had gone back to Victoria by now。 If I went to La Push； I took the chance of leading
one of them there。 What if they caught up to me when Jake was nearby？ As much as it hurt me； I knew it
was better for Jacob that he was avoiding me。 Safer for him。
It was bad enough that I couldn't figure out a way to keep Charlie safe。 Nighttime was the most likely
time that they would come looking ior me； and what could I say to get Charlie out of the house？ If I told
him the truth； he'd have me locked up in a rubber room somewhere。 I would have endured
that—welcomed it； even—if it could have kept him safe。 But Victoria would still come to his house first；
looking for me。 Maybe； if she found me here； that would be enough for her。 Maybe she would just leave
when she was done with me。
So I couldn't run away。 Even if I could； where would I go？ To Renee？ I shuddered at the thought of
dragging my lethal shadows into my mother's safe； sunny world。 I would never endanger her that way。
The worry was eating a hole in my stomach。 Soon I would have matching punctures。
That night； Charlie did me another favor and called Harry again to see if the Blacks were out of town。
Harry reported that Billy had attended the council meeting Wednesday night； and never mentioned
anything about leaving。 Charlie warned me not to make a nuisance of myself—Jacob would call when he
got around to it。
Friday afternoon； as I drove home from school； it hit me out of the blue。
I wasn't paying attention to the familiar road； letting the sound of the engine deaden my brain and silence
the worries； when my subconscious delivered a verdict it must have been working on for some time
without my knowledge。
As soon as I thought of it； I felt really stupid for not seeing it sooner。 Sure。 I'd had a lot on my
mind—revenue…obsessed vampires； giant mutant wolves； a ragged hole in the center of my chest—but
when I laid the evidence out； it was embarrassingly obvious。
Jacob avoiding me。 Charlie saying he looked strange； upset。 。 。 。 Billy's vague； unhelpful answers。
Holy crow； I knew exactly what was going on with Jacob。
It was Sam Uley。 Even my nightmares had been trying to tell me that。 Sam had gotten to Jacob。
Whatever was happening to the other boys on the reservation had reached out and stolen my friend。
He'd been sucked into Sam's cult。
He hadn't given up on me at all； I realized with a rush of feeling。
I let my truck idle in front of my house。 What should I do？ I weighed the dangers against each other。
If I went looking for Jacob； I risked the chance of Victoria or Laurent finding me with him。
If I didn't go after him； Sam would pull him deeper into his frightening； compulsory gang。 Maybe it would
be too late if I didn't act soon。
It had been a week； and no vampires had come for me yet。 A week was more than enough time for them
to have returned； so I must not be a priority。 Most likely； as I'd decided before； they would come for me
at night。 The chances of them following me to La Push were much lower than the chance of losing Jacob
to Sam。
It was worth the danger of the secluded forest road。 This was no idle visit to see what was going on。 I
knew what was going on。 This was a rescue mission。 I was going to talk to Jacob—kidnap him if I had
to。 I'd once seen a PBS show on deprogramming the brainwashed。 There had to be some kind of cure。
I decided I'd better call Charlie first。 Maybe whatever was going on down in La Push was something the
police should be involved in。 I dashed inside； in a hurry to be on my way。
Charlie answered the phone it the station himself。
〃Chief Swan。〃
〃Dad； it's Bella。〃
〃What's wrong？'〃
I couldn't argue with his doom