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no reason to start myself panicking； Alice had promised。
I hurried through my dinner； not tasting it—just feeling the ache as it slid down my raw throat。 Mostly I
was thirsty； I must have drunk a half gallon of water by the time I was finished。 All the salt in my system
had dehydrated me。
I went to go try to watch TV while I waited。
Alice was already there； sitting on her improvised bed。 Her eyes were a liquid butterscotch。 She smiled
and patted the pillow。 〃Thanks。〃
〃You're early；〃 I said； elated。
I sat down next to her and leaned my head on her shoulder。 She put her cold arms around me and
sighed。
〃Bella。 What are we going to do with you？〃
〃I don't know；〃 I admitted。 〃I really have been trying my hardest。〃
〃I believe you。〃
It was silent。
〃Does—does he…〃 I took a deep breath。 It was harder to say his name out loud； even though I was
able to think it now。 〃Does Edward know you're here？〃 I couldn't help asking。 It was my pain； after all。
I'd deal with it when she was gone； I promised myself； and felt sick at the thought。
〃No。〃
There was only one way that could be true。 〃He's not with Carlisle and Esme？〃
〃He checks in every few months。〃
〃Oh。〃 He must still be out enjoying his distractions。 I focused my curiosity on a safer topic。 〃You said you
flew here… Where did you come from？〃
〃I was in Denali。 Visiting Tanya's family。〃
〃Is Jasper here？ Did he come with your'〃
She shook her head。 〃He didn't approve of my interfering。 We promised…〃 she trailed off； and then her
tone changed。 〃And you think Charlie won't mind my being here？〃 she asked； sounding worried。
〃Charlie thinks you're wonderful； Alice。〃
〃Well； we're about to find out。〃
Sure enough； a few seconds later I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway。 I jumped up and hurried to
open the door。
Charlie trudged slowly up the walk； his eyes on the ground and his shoulders slumped。 I walked forward
to meet him； he didn't even see me until I hugged him around the waist。 He embraced me back fiercely。
〃I'm so sorry about Harry； Dad。〃
〃I'm really going to miss him；〃 Charlie mumbled。
〃How's Sue doing？〃
〃She seems dazed； like she hasn't grasped it yet。 Sam's staying with her…〃 The volume of his voice faded
in and out。 〃Those poor kids。 Leah's just a year older than you； and Seth is only fourteen…〃 He shook
his head。
He kept his arms tight around me as he started toward the door again。
〃Um； Dad？〃 I figured I'd better warn him。 〃You'll never guess who's here。〃
He looked at me blankly。 His head swiveled around； and he spied the Mercedes across the street； the
porch light reflecting off the glossy black paint。 Before he could react； Alice was in the doorway。
〃Hi； Charlie；〃 she said in a subdued voice。 〃I'm sorry I came at such a bad time。〃
〃Alice Cullen？〃 he peered at the slight figure in front of him as if he doubted what his eyes were telling
him。 〃Alice； is that you？〃
〃It's me；〃 she confirmed。 〃I was in the neighborhood。〃
〃Is Carlisle…？〃
〃No； I'm alone。〃
Both Alice and I knew he wasn't really asking about Carlisle。 His arm tightened over my shoulder。
〃She can stay here； can't she？〃 I pleaded。 〃I already asked her。〃
〃Of course；〃 Charlie said mechanically。 〃We'd love to have you； Alice。〃
〃Thank you； Charlie。 I know it's horrid timing。〃
〃No； it's fine； really。 I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for Harry's family； it will be nice for
Bella to have some company。〃
〃There's dinner for you on the table； Dad；〃 I told him。
〃Thanks； Bell。〃 He gave me one more squeeze before he shuffled toward the kitchen。
Alice went back to the couch； and I followed her。 This time； she was the one to pull me against her
shoulder。
〃You look tired。〃
〃Yeah；〃 I agreed； and shrugged。 〃Near…death experiences do that to me… So； what does Carlisle think
of you being here？〃
〃He doesn't know。 He and Esme were on a hunting trip。 I'll hear from him in a few days； when he gets
back。〃
〃You won't tell him； though… when he checks in again？〃 I asked。 She knew I didn't mean Carlisle now。
〃No。 He'd bite my head off；〃 Alice said grimly。
I laughed once； and then sighed。
I didn't want to sleep。 I wanted to stay up all night talking to Alice。 And it didn't make sense for me to be
tired； what with crashing on Jacob's couch all day。 But drowning really had taken a lot out of me； and my
eyes wouldn't stay open。 I rested my head on her stone shoulder； and drifted into a more peaceful
oblivion than I had any hope of。
I woke early； from a deep and dreamless sleep； feeling well…rested； but stiff。 I was on the couch tucked
under the blankets I'd laid out for Alice； and I could hear her and Charlie talking in the kitchen。 It
sounded like Charlie was fixing her breakfast。
〃How bad was it； Charlie？〃 Alice asked softly； and at first I thought they were talking about the
Clearwaters。
Charlie sighed。 〃Real bad。〃
〃Tell me about it。 I want to know exactly what happened when we left。〃
There was a pause while a cupboard door was closed and a dial on the stove was clicked off。 I waited；
cringing。
〃I've never felt so helpless；〃 Charlie began slowly。 〃I didn't know what to do。 That first week—I thought I
was going to have to hospitalize her。 She wouldn't eat or drink； she wouldn't move。 Dr。 Gerandy was
throwing around words like 'catatonic；' but I didn't let him up to see her。 I was afraid it would scare her。〃
〃She snapped out of it though？〃
〃I had Renee come to take her to Florida。 I just didn't want to be the one… if she had to go to a hospital
or something。 I hoped being with her mother would help。 But when we started packing her clothes； she
woke up with a vengeance。 I've never seen Bella throw a fit like that。 She was never one for the
tantrums； but； boy； did she fly into a fury。 She threw her clothes everywhere and screamed that we
couldn't make her leave—and then she finally started crying。 I thought that would be the turning point。 I
didn't argue when she insisted on staying here… and she did seem to get better at first…〃
Charlie trailed off。 It was hard listening to this； knowing how much pain I'd caused him。
〃But？〃 Alice prompted。
〃She went back to school and work； she ate and slept and did her homework。 She answered when
someone asked her a direct question。 But she was… empty。 Her eyes were blank。 There were lots of
little things—she wouldn't listen to music anymore； I found a bunch of CDs broken in the trash。 She didn't
read； she wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on； not that she watched it so much before。 I
finally figured it out—she was avoiding everything that might remind her of… him。
〃We could hardly talk； I was so worried about saying something that would upset her—the littlest things
would make her flinch—and she never volunteered anything。 She would just answer if I asked her
something。
〃She was alone all the time。 She didn't call her friends back； and after a while； they stopped calling。
〃It was night of the living dead around here。 I still hear her screaming in her sleep…〃
I could almost see him shuddering。 I shuddered； too； remembering。 And then I sighed。 I hadn't fooled him
at all； not for one second。
〃I'm so sorry； Charlie；〃 Alice said； voice glum。
〃It's not your fault。〃 The way he said it made it perfectly clear that he was holding someone responsible。
〃You were always a good friend to her。〃
〃She seems better now； though。〃
〃Yeah。 Ever since she started hanging out with Jacob Black； I've noticed a real improvement。 She has
some color in her cheeks when she comes home； some light in her eyes。 She's happier。〃 He paused； and
his voice was different when he spoke again。 〃He's a year or so younger than her； and I know she used
to think of him as a friend； but I think maybe it's something more now； or headed that direction； anyway。〃
Charlie said this in a tone that was almost belligerent。 It was a warning； not for Alice； but for her to pass
along。 〃Jake's old for his years；〃 he continued； still sounding defensive。 〃He's taken care of his father
physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally。 It matured him。 He's a good…looking kid；
too—takes after his mom's side。 He's good for Bella； you know；〃 Charlie insisted。
〃Then it's good she has him；〃 Alice agreed。
Charlie sighed out a big gust of air； folding quickly to the lack of opposition。 〃Okay； so I guess that's
overstating things。 I don't know… even with Jacob； now and then I see something in her eyes； and I
wonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in It's not normal； Alice； and it… it frightens me。
Not normal at all。 Not like someone… left her； but like someone died。〃 His voice cracked。
It was like someone had died—like I had died。 Because it had been more than just losing the truest of
true loves； as if that were not enough to kill anyone。 It was also losing a whole future； a whole
family—the whole life that I'd chosen…
Charlie went on in a hopeless tone。 〃I don't know if she's going to get over it—I'm not sure if it's in her
nature to