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with the gravitational force of a black hole。 〃I will never leave you again。〃
〃But you said thirty；〃 I whispered。 The tears leaked over the edge。 〃What？ You're going to stay； but let
me get all old anyway？ Right。〃
His eyes softened； while his mouth went hard。 〃That's exactly what I'm going to do。 What choice have I？
I cannot be without you； but I will not destroy your soul。〃
〃Is this really…〃 I tried to keep my voice even； but this question was too hard。 I remembered his face
when Aro had almost begged him to consider making me immortal。 The sick look there。 Was this fixation
with keeping me human really about my soul； or was it because he wasn't sure that he wanted me around
that long？
〃Yes？〃 he asked； waiting for my question。
I asked a different one。 Almost—but not quite—as hard。
〃But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother？ Your grandmother？〃 My voice
was pale with revulsion—I could see Gran's face again in the dream mirror。
His whole face was soft now。 He brushed the tears from my cheek with his lips。 〃That doesn't mean
anything to me；〃 he breathed against my skin。 〃You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world。
Of course…〃 He hesitated； flinching slightly。 〃If you outgrew me—if you wanted something more—I
would understand that； Bella。 I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me。〃
His eyes were liquid onyx and utterly sincere。 He spoke as if he'd put endless amounts of thought into this
asinine plan。
〃You do realize that I'll die eventually； right？〃 I demanded。
He'd thought about this part； too。 〃I'll follow after as soon as I can。〃
〃That is seriously…〃I looked for the right word。 〃Sick。〃
〃Bella； it's the only right way left—〃
〃Let's just back up for a minute；〃 I said； feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear； decisive。 〃You
do remember the Volturi； right？ I can't stay human forever。 They'll kill me。 Even if they don't think of me
tillI'm thirty〃—I hissed the word—〃do you really think they'll forget？〃
〃No；〃 he answered slowly； shaking his head。 〃They won't forget。 But…〃
〃But？〃
He grinned while I stared at him warily。 Maybe I wasn't the only crazy one。
〃I have a few plans。〃
〃And these plans；〃 I said； my voice getting more acidic with each word。 〃These plans all center around
me staying human。〃
My attitude hardened his expression。 〃Naturally。〃 His tone was brusque； his divine face arrogant。
We glowered at each other for a long minute。
Then I took a deep breath； squared my shoulders； I pushed his arms away so that I could sit up。
〃Do you want me to leave？〃 he asked； and it made my heart flutter to see that this idea hurt him； though
he tried not to show it。
〃No；〃 I told him。 〃I'm leaving。〃
He watched me suspiciously as I climbed out of the bed and fumbled around in the dark room； looking
for my shoes。
〃May I ask where you are going。'〃 he asked。
〃I'm going to your house；〃 I told him； still feeling around blindly。
He got up and came to my side。 〃Here are your shoes。 How did you plan to get there？〃
〃My truck。〃
〃That will probably wake Charlie；〃 he offered as a deterrent。
I sighed。 〃I know。 But honestly； I'll be grounded for weeks as it is。 How much more trouble can I really
getin？〃
〃None。 He'll blame me； not you。〃
〃If you have a better idea； I'm all ears。〃
〃Stay here；〃 he suggested； but his expression wasn't hopeful。
〃No dice。 But you go ahead and make yourself at home；〃 I encouraged； surprised at how natural my
teasing sounded； and headed for the door。
He was there before me； blocking my way。
I frowned； and turned for the window。 It wasn't really that far to the ground； and it was mostly grass
beneath…
〃Okay；〃 he sighed。 〃I'll give you a ride。〃
I shrugged。 〃Either way。 But you probably should be there； too。〃
〃And why is that？〃
〃Because you're extraordinarily opinionated； and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views。〃
〃My views on which subject？〃 He asked through his teeth。
〃This isn't just about you anymore。 You're not the center of the universe； you know。〃 My own personal
universe was； of course； a different story。 〃If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something
as stupid as leaving me human； then your family ought to have a say。〃
〃A say in what？〃 he asked； each word distinct。
〃My mortality。 I'm putting it to a vote。〃
24。 VOTE
HE WAS NOT PLEASED； THAT MUCH WAS EASY TO READ in his face。 But； without further
argument； he took me in his arms and sprang lithely from my window； landing without the slightest jolt；
like a cat。 It was a little bit farther down than I'd imagined。
〃All right then；〃 he said； his voice seething with disapproval。 〃Up you go。〃
He helped me onto his back； and took off running。 Even after all this time； it felt routine。 Easy。 Evidently
this was something you never forgot； like riding a bicycle。
It was so very quiet and dark as he ran through the forest； his breathing slow and even—dark enough
that the trees flying past us were nearly invisible； and only the rush of air in my face truly gave away our
speed。 The air was damp； it didn't burn my eyes the way the wind in the big plaza had； and that was
comforting。 As was the night； too； after that terrifying brightness。 Like the thick quilt I'd played under as a
child； the dark felt familiar and protecting。
I remembered that running through the forest like this used to frighten me； that I used to have to close my
eyes。 It seemed a silly reaction to me now。 I kept my eyes wide； my chin resting on his shoulder； my
cheek against his neck。 The speed was exhilarating。 A hundred times better than the motorcycle。
I turned my face toward him and pressed my lips into the cold stone skin of his neck。
〃Thank you；〃 he said； as the vague； black shapes of trees raced past us。 〃Does that mean you've decided
you're awake？〃
I laughed。 The sound was easy； natural； effortless。 It sounded right。 〃Not really。 More that； either way；
I'm not trying to wake up。 Not tonight。〃
〃I'll earn your trust back somehow；〃 he murmured； mostly to himself。 〃If it's my final act。〃
〃I trust you；〃 I assured him。 〃It's me I don't trust。〃
〃Explain that； please。〃
He'd slowed to a walk—I could only tell because the wind ceased—and I guessed that we weren't far
from the house。 In fact； I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in
the darkness。
〃Well—〃 I struggled to find the right way to phrase it。 〃I don't trust myself to be… enough。 To deserve
you。 There's nothing about me that could hold you。〃
He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back。 His gentle hands did not release me； after he'd
set me on my feet again； he wrapped his arms tightly around me； hugging me to his chest。
〃Your hold is permanent and unbreakable；〃 he whispered。 〃Never doubt that。〃
But how could I not？
〃You never did tell me…〃 he murmured。
〃What？〃
〃What your greatest problem is。〃
〃I'll give you one guess。〃 I sighed； and reached up to touch the tip of his nose with my index finger。
He nodded。 〃I'm worse than the Volturi；〃 he said grimly。 〃I guess I've earned that。〃
I rolled my eyes。 〃The worst the Volturi can do is kill me。〃
He waited with tense eyes。
〃You can leave me；〃 I explained。 〃The Volturi； Victoria… they're nothing compared to that。〃
Even in the darkness； I could see the anguish twist his face—it reminded me of his expression under
Jane's torturing gaze； I felt sick； and regretted speaking the truth。
〃Don't；〃 I whispered； touching his face。 〃Don't be sad。〃
He pulled one corner of his mouth up halfheartedly； but the expression didn't touch his eyes。 〃If there was
only some way to make you see that I can't leave you；〃 he whispered。 〃Time； I suppose； will be the way
to convince you。〃
I liked the idea of time。 〃Okay；〃 I agreed。
His face was still tormented。 I tried to distract him with inconsequentials。
〃So—since you're staying。 Can I have my stuff back？〃 I asked； making my tone as light as I could
manage。
My attempt worked； to an extent： he laughed。 But his eyes retained the misery。 〃Your things were never
gone；〃 he told me。 〃I knew it was wrong； since I promised you peace without reminders。 It was stupid
and childish； but I wanted to leave something of myself with you。 The CD； the pictures； the
tickets—they're all under your floorboards。〃
〃Really？〃
He nodded； seeming slightly cheered by my obvious pleasure in this trivial fact。 It wasn't enough to heal
the pain in his face completely。
〃I think；〃 I said slowly； 〃I'm not sure； but I wonder… I think maybe I knew it the whole time。〃
〃What did you know？〃
I only wanted to take away the agony in his eyes； but as I spoke the words； they sounded truer than I
expected they would。
〃Some part of me； my subconscious maybe； never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived
or died。 That's probably why I was hearing the voices。〃
There was a very deep silence for a moment。 〃Voices？〃 he asked flatly。
〃Well； just one voic