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fair wisdom； not thy passion； sway In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against thy peace。 Go with me to my house； And hear thou there how
many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botch'd up； that thou thereby Mayst
smile at this。 Thou shalt not choose but go； Do not deny。 Beshrew his soul
for me！ He started one poor heart of mine in thee。 SEBASTIAN。 What
relish is in this？ How runs the stream？ Or I am mad； or else this is a dream。
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep； If it be thus to dream； still let me
sleep！ OLIVIA。 Nay； come； I prithee。 Would thou'dst be rul'd by me！
SEBASTIAN。 Madam； I will。 OLIVIA。 O； say so； and so be！ Exeunt
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE II。 OLIVIA'S house
Enter MARIA and CLOWN
MARIA。 Nay； I prithee； put on this gown and this beard； make him
believe thou art Sir Topas the curate； do it quickly。 I'll call Sir Toby the
whilst。 Exit CLOWN。 Well； I'll put it on； and I will dissemble myself in't；
and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown。 I am not
tall enough to become the function well nor lean enough to be thought a
good student； but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes
as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar。 The competitors enter。
Enter SIR TOBY and MARIA
SIR TOBY。 Jove bless thee； Master Parson。 CLOWN。 Bonos dies； Sir
Toby； for as the old hermit of Prague； that never saw pen and ink； very
wittily said to niece of King Gorboduc 'That that is is'； so I； being Master
Parson； am Master Parson； for what is 'that' but that； and 'is' but is？ SIR
TOBY。 To him； Sir Topas。 CLOWN。 What ho； I say！ Peace in this prison！
SIR TOBY。 The knave counterfeits well； a good knave。 MALVOLIO。
＇Within＇ Who calls there？ CLOWN。 Sir Topas the curate； who comes to
visit Malvolio the lunatic。 MALVOLIO。 Sir Topas； Sir Topas； good Sir
Topas； go to my lady。 CLOWN。 Out； hyperbolical fiend！ How vexest thou
this man！ Talkest thou nothing but of ladies？ SIR TOBY。 Well said； Master
Parson。 MALVOLIO。 Sir Topas； never was man thus wronged。 Good Sir
Topas； do not think I am mad； they have laid me here in hideous darkness。
CLOWN。 Fie； thou dishonest Satan！ I call thee by the most modest terms；
for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with
courtesy。 Say'st thou that house is dark？ MALVOLIO。 As hell； Sir Topas。
CLOWN。 Why； it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes； and the
clerestories toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony； and yet
complainest thou of obstruction？ MALVOLIO。 I am not mad； Sir Topas。 I
say to you this house is dark。 CLOWN。 Madman； thou errest。 I say there is
no darkness but ignorance； in which thou art more puzzled than the
Egyptians in their fog。 MALVOLIO。 I say this house is as dark as
ignorance； though ignorance were as dark as hell； and I say there was
never man thus abus'd。 I am no more mad than you are； make the trial of it
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
in any constant question。 CLOWN。 What is the opinion of Pythagoras
concerning wild fowl？ MALVOLIO。 That the soul of our grandam might
haply inhabit a bird。 CLOWN。 What think'st thou of his opinion？
MALVOLIO。 I think nobly of the soul； and no way approve his opinion。
CLOWN。 Fare thee well。 Remain thou still in darkness： thou shalt hold th'
opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits； and fear to kill a
woodcock； lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam。 Fare thee well。
MALVOLIO。 Sir Topas； Sir Topas！ SIR TOBY。 My most exquisite Sir
Topas！ CLOWN。 Nay； I am for all waters。 MARIA。 Thou mightst have
done this without thy beard and gown： he sees thee not。 SIR TOBY。 To
him in thine own voice； and bring me word how thou find'st him。 I would
we were well rid of this knavery。 If he may be conveniently deliver'd； I
would he were； for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot
pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot。 Come by and by to my
chamber。 Exit with MARIA CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ Hey； Robin； jolly Robin；
Tell me how thy lady does。 MALVOLIO。 Fool！ CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ My lady
is unkind； perdy。 MALVOLIO。 Fool！ CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ Alas； why is she
so？ MALVOLIO。 Fool I say！ CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ She loves another… Who
calls； ha？ MALVOLIO。 Good fool； as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
hand； help me to a candle； and pen； ink； and paper； as I am a gentleman； I
will live to be thankful to thee for't。 CLOWN。 Master Malvolio？
MALVOLIO。 Ay； good fool。 CLOWN。 Alas； sir； how fell you besides your
five wits？ MALVOLIO。 Fool； there was never man so notoriously abus'd；
I am as well in my wits； fool； as thou art。 CLOWN。 But as well？ Then you
are mad indeed； if you be no better in your wits than a fool。 MALVOLIO。
They have here propertied me； keep me in darkness； send ministers to me；
asses； and do all they can to face me out of my wits。 CLOWN。 Advise you
what。 you say： the minister is here。 ＇Speaking as SIR TOPAS＇ Malvolio；
thy wits the heavens restore！ Endeavour thyself to sleep； and leave thy
vain bibble…babble。 MALVOLIO。 Sir Topas！ CLOWN。 Maintain no words
with him； good fellow。… Who； I； sir？ Not I； sir。 God buy you； good Sir
Topas。… Marry； amen。… I will sir； I will。 MALVOLIO。 Fool； fool； fool； I say！
CLOWN。 Alas； sir； be patient。 What say you； sir？ I am shent for speaking
to you。 MALVOLIO。 Good fool； help me to some light and some paper。 I
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
tell thee I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria。 CLOWN。 Well…a…
day that you were； sir！ MALVOLIO。 By this hand； I am。 Good fool； some
ink； paper； and light； and convey what I will set down to my lady。 It shall
advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did。 CLOWN。 I will
help you to't。 But tell me true； are you not mad indeed； or do you but
counterfeit？ MALVOLIO。 Believe me； I am not； I tell thee true。 CLOWN。
Nay； I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains。 I will fetch you light
and paper and ink。 MALVOLIO。 Fool； I'll requite it in the highest degree；
I prithe be gone。 CLOWN。 ＇Singing＇ I am gone； sir； And anon； sir； I'll be
with you again； In a trice； Like to the old Vice； Your need to sustain；
Who with dagger of lath； In his rage and his wrath； Cries； Ah； ha！ to
the devil； Like a mad lad； Pare thy nails； dad。 Adieu； goodman devil。 Exit
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE III。 OLIVIA'S garden
Enter SEBASTIAN
SEBASTIAN。 This is the air； that is the glorious sun； This pearl she
gave me； I do feel't and see't； And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus；
Yet 'tis not madness。 Where's Antonio； then？ I could not find him at the
Elephant； Yet there he was； and there I found this credit； That he did range
the town to seek me out。 His counsel now might do me golden service； For
though my soul disputes well with my sense That this may be some error；
but no madness； Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed
all instance； all discourse； That I am ready to distrust mine eyes And
wrangle with my reason； that persuades me To any other trust but that I am
mad； Or else the lady's mad； yet if 'twere so； She could not sway her house；
command her followers； Take and give back affairs and their dispatch
With such a smooth； discreet； and stable bearing； As I perceive she does。
There's something in't That is deceivable。 But here the lady comes。
Enter OLIVIA and PRIEST
OLIVIA。 Blame not this haste of mine。 If you mean well； Now go
with me and with this holy man Into the chantry by； there； before him And
underneath that consecrated roof； Plight me the fun assurance of your faith；
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul May live at peace。 He shall
conceal it Whiles you are willing it shall come to note； What time we will
our celebration keep According to my birth。 What do you say？
SEBASTIAN。 I'll follow this