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court； Else would I very shortly see thee there。 But come what may； I do
adore thee so That danger shall seem sport； and I will go。 Exit
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE II。 A street
Enter VIOLA and MALVOLIO at several doors
MALVOLIO。 Were you not ev'n now with the Countess Olivia？
VIOLA。 Even now； sir； on a moderate pace I have since arriv'd but hither。
MALVOLIO。 She returns this ring to you； sir； you might have saved me
my pains； to have taken it away yourself。 She adds； moreover； that you
should put your lord into a desperate assurance she will none of him。 And
one thing more： that you be never so hardy to come again in his affairs；
unless it be to report your lord's taking of this。 Receive it so。 VIOLA。 She
took the ring of me； I'll none of it。 MALVOLIO。 Come； sir； you peevishly
threw it to her； and her will is it should be so return'd。 If it be worth
stooping for； there it lies in your eye； if not； be it his that finds it。 Exit
VIOLA。 I left no ring with her； what means this lady？ Fortune forbid my
outside have not charm'd her！ She made good view of me； indeed； so
much That methought her eyes had lost her tongue； For she did speak in
starts distractedly。 She loves me； sure： the cunning of her passion Invites
me in this churlish messenger。 None of my lord's ring！ Why； he sent her
none。 I am the man。 If it be so… as 'tis… Poor lady； she were better love a
dream。 Disguise； I see thou art a wickedness Wherein the pregnant enemy
does much。 How easy is it for the proper…false In women's waxen hearts to
set their forms！ Alas； our frailty is the cause； not we！ For such as we are
made of； such we be。 How will this fadge？ My master loves her dearly；
And I； poor monster； fond as much on him； And she； mistaken； seems to
dote on me。 What will become of this？ As I am man； My state is desperate
for my master's love； As I am woman… now alas the day！… What thriftless
sighs shall poor Olivia breathe！ O Time； thou must untangle this； not I； It
is too hard a knot for me t' untie！ Exit
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE III。 OLIVIA'S house
Enter SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY。 Approach； Sir Andrew。 Not to be abed after midnight is
to be up betimes； and 'diluculo surgere' thou know'st… AGUECHEEK。 Nay；
by my troth； I know not； but I know to be up late is to be up late。 SIR
TOBY。 A false conclusion！ I hate it as an unfill'd can。 To be up after
midnight and to go to bed then is early； so that to go to bed after midnight
is to go to bed betimes。 Does not our lives consist of the four elements？
AGUECHEEK。 Faith； so they say； but I think it rather consists of eating
and drinking。 SIR TOBY。 Th'art a scholar； let us therefore eat and drink。
Marian； I say！ a stoup of wine。
Enter CLOWN
AGUECHEEK。 Here comes the fool； i' faith。 CLOWN。 How now； my
hearts！ Did you never see the picture of 'we
three'？ SIR TOBY。 Welcome； ass。 Now let's have a catch。
AGUECHEEK。 By my troth； the fool has an excellent breast。 I had rather
than forty shillings I had such a leg； and so sweet a breath to sing； as the
fool has。 In sooth； thou wast in very gracious fooling last night； when thou
spok'st of Pigrogromitus； of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of
Queubus； 'twas very good； i' faith。 I sent thee sixpence for thy leman；
hadst it？ CLOWN。 I did impeticos thy gratillity； for Malvolio's nose is no
whipstock。 My lady has a white hand； and the Myrmidons are no bottle…ale
houses。 AGUECHEEK。 Excellent！ Why； this is the best fooling； when all
is done。 Now； a song。 SIR TOBY。 Come on； there is sixpence for you。
Let's have a song。 AGUECHEEK。 There's a testril of me too； if one knight
give a… CLOWN。 Would you have a love…song； or a song of good life？ SIR
TOBY。 A love…song； a love…song。 AGUECHEEK。 Ay； ay； I care not for
good life。
CLOWN sings O mistress mine； where are you roaming？ O； stay and
hear； your true love's coming； That can sing both high and low。 Trip no
further； pretty sweeting； Journeys end in lovers meeting； Every wise man's
son doth know。
AGUECHEEK。 Excellent good； i' faith！ SIR TOBY。 Good； good！
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
CLOWN sings
What is love？ 'Tis not hereafter； Present mirth hath present laughter；
What's to come is still unsure。 In delay there lies no plenty； Then come
kiss me； sweet and twenty； Youth's a stuff will not endure。
AGUECHEEK。 A mellifluous voice； as I am true knight。 SIR TOBY。
A contagious breath。 AGUECHEEK。 Very sweet and contagious； i' faith。
SIR TOBY。 To hear by the nose； it is dulcet in contagion。 But shall we
make the welkin dance indeed？ Shall we rouse the night…owl in a catch
that will draw three souls out of one weaver？ Shall we do that？
AGUECHEEK。 An you love me； let's do't。 I am dog at a catch。 CLOWN。
By'r lady； sir； and some dogs will catch well。 AGUECHEEK。 Most certain。
Let our catch be 'Thou knave。' CLOWN。 'Hold thy peace； thou knave'
knight？ I shall be constrain'd in't to call thee knave； knight。 AGUECHEEK。
'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave。 Begin； fool：
it begins 'Hold thy peace。' CLOWN。 I shall never begin if I hold my peace。
AGUECHEEK。 Good； i' faith！ Come； begin。 ＇Catch sung＇
Enter MARIA
MARIA。 What a caterwauling do you keep here！ If my lady have not
call'd up her steward Malvolio； and bid him turn you out of doors； never
trust me。 SIR TOBY。 My lady's a Cataian； we are politicians； Malvolio's a
Peg…a…Ramsey； and ＇Sings＇ Three merry men be we。 Am not I
consanguineous？ Am I not of her blood？ Tilly…vally； lady。 ＇Sings＇ There
dwelt a man in Babylon； Lady； lady。 CLOWN。 Beshrew me； the knight's in
admirable fooling。 AGUECHEEK。 Ay； he does well enough if he be
dispos'd； and so do I too； he does it with a better grace； but I do it more
natural。 SIR TOBY。 ＇Sings＇ O' the twelfth day of December… MARIA。 For
the love o' God； peace！
Enter MALVOLIO
MALVOLIO。 My masters； are you mad？ Or what are you？ Have you
no wit； manners； nor honesty； but to gabble like tinkers at this time of
night？ Do ye make an ale…house of my lady's house； that ye squeak out
your coziers' catches without any mitigation or
remorse of voice？ Is there no respect of place； persons； nor time； in
you？ SIR TOBY。 We did keep time； sir； in our catches。 Sneck up！
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
MALVOLIO。 Sir Toby； I must be round with you。 My lady bade me tell
you that； though she harbours you as her kins…man； she's nothing allied to
your disorders。 If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanours； you
are welcome to the house； if not； and it would please you to take leave of
her； she is very willing to bid you farewell。 SIR TOBY。 ＇Sings＇ Farewell；
dear heart； since I must needs be gone。 MARIA。 Nay； good Sir Toby。
CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ His eyes do show his days are almost done。
MALVOLIO。 Is't even so？ SIR TOBY。 ＇Sings＇ But I will never die。 ＇Falls
down＇ CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ Sir Toby； there you lie。 MALVOLIO。 This is
much credit to you。 SIR TOBY。 ＇Sings＇ Shall I bid him go？ CLOWN。
＇Sings＇ What an if you do？ SIR TOBY。 ＇Sings＇ Shall I bid him go； and
spare not？ CLOWN。 ＇Sings＇ O； no； no； no； no； you dare not。 SIR TOBY。
＇Rising＇ Out o' tune； sir！ Ye lie。 Art any more than a steward？ Dost thou
think； because thou art virtuous； there shall be no more cakes and ale？
CLOWN。 Yes； by Saint Anne； and ginger shall be hot i' th' mouth too。 SIR
TOBY。 Th' art i' th' right。 Go； sir； rub your chain with crumbs。 A stoup of
wine； Maria！ MALVOLIO。 Mistress Mary； if you priz'd my lady's favour
at anything more than contempt； you would not give means for this uncivil
rule； she shall know of it； by this hand。 Exit MARIA。 Go shake your ears。
AGUECHEEK。 'Twere as good a deed as to