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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
proud； I will read politic authors； I will baffle Sir Toby； I will wash off
gross acquaintance； I will be point…devise the very man。 I do not now fool
myself to let imagination jade me； for every reason excites to this； that my
lady loves me。 She did commend my yellow stockings of late； she did
praise my leg being cross…garter'd； and in this she manifests herself to my
love； and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking。 I
thank my stars I am happy。 I will be strange； stout； in yellow stockings；
and cross…garter'd； even with the swiftness of putting on。 Jove and my
stars be praised！ Here is yet a postscript。
＇Reads＇ 'Thou canst not choose but know who I am。 If thou
entertain'st my love； let it appear in thy smiling； thy smiles become thee
well。 Therefore in my presence still smile； dear my sweet； I prithee。'
Jove； I thank thee。 I will smile； I will do everything that thou wilt
have me。 Exit FABIAN。 I will not give my part of this sport for a pension
of thousands to be paid from the Sophy。 SIR TOBY。 I could marry this
wench for this device。 AGUECHEEK。 So could I too。 SIR TOBY。 And ask
no other dowry with her but such another jest。 Enter MARIA
AGUECHEEK。 Nor I neither。 FABIAN。 Here comes my noble gull…
catcher。 SIR TOBY。 Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck？ AGUECHEEK。 Or
o' mine either？ SIR TOBY。 Shall I play my freedom at tray…trip； and
become thy bond…slave？ AGUECHEEK。 I' faith； or I either？ SIR TOBY。
Why； thou hast put him in such a dream that when the image of it leaves
him he must run mad。 MARIA。 Nay； but say true； does it work upon him？
SIR TOBY。 Like aqua…vita！ with a midwife。 AIARIA。 If you will then see
the fruits of the sport； mark his first approach before my lady。 He will
come to her in yellow stockings； and 'tis a colour she abhors； and cross…
garter'd； a fashion she detests； and he will smile upon her； which will now
be so unsuitable to her disposition； being addicted to a melancholy as she
is； that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt。 If you will see it；
follow me。 SIR TOBY。 To the gates of Tartar； thou most excellent devil of
wit！ AGUECHEEK。 I'll make one too。 Exeunt
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
ACT III。
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
SCENE I。 OLIVIA'S garden
Enter VIOLA； and CLOWN with a tabor
VIOLA。 Save thee； friend； and thy music！ Dost thou live by thy tabor？
CLOWN。 No； sir； I live by the church。 VIOLA。 Art thou a churchman？
CLOWN。 No such matter； sir： I do live by the church； for I do live at my
house； and my house doth stand by the church。 VIOLA。 So thou mayst say
the king lies by a beggar； if a beggar dwell near him； or the church stands
by thy tabor； if thy tabor stand by the church。 CLOWN。 You have said； sir。
To see this age！ A sentence is but a chev'ril glove to a good wit。 How
quickly the wrong side may be turn'd outward！ VIOLA。 Nay； that's certain；
they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton。
CLOWN。 I would； therefore； my sister had had name； sir。 VIOLA。 Why；
man？ CLOWN。 Why； sir； her name's a word； and to dally with that word
might make my sister wanton。 But indeed words are very rascals
since bonds disgrac'd them。 VIOLA。 Thy reason； man？ CLOWN。 Troth；
sir； I can yield you none without words； and words are grown so false I am
loath to prove reason with them。 VIOLA。 I warrant thou art a merry fellow
and car'st for nothing。 CLOWN。 Not so； sir； I do care for something； but in
my conscience； sir； I do not care for you。 If that be to care for nothing； sir；
I would it would make you invisible。 VIOLA。 Art not thou the Lady
Olivia's fool？ CLOWN。 No； indeed； sir； the Lady Olivia has no folly； she
will keep no fool； sir； till she be married； and fools are as like husbands as
pilchers are to herrings… the husband's the bigger。 I am indeed not her fool；
but her corrupter of words。 VIOLA。 I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's。
CLOWN。 Foolery； sir； does walk about the orb like the sun… it shines
everywhere。 I would be sorry； sir； but the fool should be as oft with your
master as with my mistress： think I saw your wisdom there。 VIOLA。 Nay；
an thou pass upon me； I'll no more with thee。 Hold； there's expenses for
thee。 ＇Giving a coin＇ CLOWN。 Now Jove； in his next commodity of hair；
send the a beard！ VIOLA。 By my troth； I'll tell thee； I am almost sick for
one； ＇Aside＇ though I would not have it grow on my chin。… Is thy lady
within？ CLOWN。 Would not a pair of these have bred； sir？ VIOLA。 Yes；
being kept together and put to use。 CLOWN。 I would play Lord Pandarus
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
of Phrygia； sir； to bring a Cressida to this Troilus。 VIOLA。 I understand
you； sir； 'tis well begg'd。 ＇Giving another coin＇ CLOWN。 The matter； I
hope； is not great； sir； begging but a beggar： Cressida was a beggar。 My
lady is within； sir。 I will construe to them whence you come； who you are
and what you would are out of my welkin… I might say 'element' but the
word is overworn。 Exit CLOWN VIOLA。 This fellow is wise enough to
play the fool； And to do that well craves a kind of wit。 He must observe
their mood on whom he jests； The quality of persons； and the time； And；
like the haggard； check at every feather That comes before his eye。 This is
a practice As full of labour as a wise man's art； For folly that he wisely
shows is fit； But wise men； folly…fall'n； quite taint their wit。
Enter SIR TOBY and SIR ANDREW
SIR TOBY。 Save you； gentleman！ VIOLA。 And you； sir。
AGUECHEEK。 Dieu vous garde； monsieur。 VIOLA。 Et vous aussi； votre
serviteur。 AGUECHEEK。 I hope； sir； you are； and I am yours。 SIR TOBY。
Will you encounter the house？ My niece is desirous you should enter； if
your trade be to her。 VIOLA。 I am bound to your niece； sir； I mean； she is
the list of my voyage。 SIR TOBY。 Taste your legs； sir； put them to motion。
VIOLA。 My legs do better understand me； sir； than I understand what you
mean by bidding me taste my legs。 SIR TOBY。 I mean； to go； sir； to enter。
VIOLA。 I will answer you with gait and entrance。 But we are prevented。
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA
Most excellent accomplish'd lady； the heavens rain odours on you！
AGUECHEEK。 That youth's a rare courtier… 'Rain odours' well！ VIOLA。
My matter hath no voice； lady； but to your own most pregnant and
vouchsafed car。 AGUECHEEK。 'Odours；' 'pregnant；' and 'vouchsafed'… I'll
get 'em all three all ready。 OLIVIA。 Let the garden door be shut； and leave
me to my hearing。 ＇Exeunt all but OLIVIA and VIOLA＇ Give me your
hand； sir。 VIOLA。 My duty； madam； and most humble service。 OLIVIA。
What is your name？ VIOLA。 Cesario is your servant's name； fair Princess。
OLIVIA。 My servant； sir！ 'Twas never merry world Since lowly feigning
was call'd compliment。 Y'are servant to the Count Orsino； youth。 VIOLA。
And he is yours； and his must needs be yours： Your servant's servant is
your servant； madam。 OLIVIA。 For him； I think not on him； for his
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TWELFTH NIGHT； OR； WHAT YOU WILL
thoughts； Would they were blanks rather than fill'd