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her face。〃
It gave me a sudden wrench of the heart…strings。 I could have killed
Strickland then； and I knew that my voice was trembling when I bade the
nurse goodbye。
I found Dirk waiting for me on the steps。 He seemed to see nothing；
and did not notice that I had joined him till I touched him on the arm。
We walked along in silence。 I tried to imagine what had happened to
drive the poor creature to that dreadful step。 I presumed that Strickland
knew what had happened； for someone must have been to see him from
the police； and he must have made his statement。 I did not know where
he was。 I supposed he had gone back to the shabby attic which served
him as a studio。 It was curious that she should not wish to see him。
Perhaps she refused to have him sent for because she knew he would
refuse to come。 I wondered what an abyss of cruelty she must have
looked into that in horror she refused to live。
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XXXVI
The next week was dreadful。 Stroeve went twice a day to the
hospital to enquire after his wife； who still declined to see him； and came
away at first relieved and hopeful because he was told that she seemed to
be growing better； and then in despair because； the complication which the
doctor had feared having ensued； recovery was impossible。 The nurse
was pitiful to his distress； but she had little to say that could console him。
The poor woman lay quite still； refusing to speak； with her eyes intent； as
though she watched for the coming of death。 It could now be only the
question of a day or two； and when； late one evening； Stroeve came to see
me I knew it was to tell me she was dead。 He was absolutely exhausted。
His volubility had left him at last； and he sank down wearily on my sofa。
I felt that no words of condolence availed； and I let him lie there quietly。
I feared he would think it heartless if I read； so I sat by the window；
smoking a pipe； till he felt inclined to speak。
〃You've been very kind to me；〃 he said at last。 〃Everyone's been very
kind。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 I said； a little embarrassed。
〃At the hospital they told me I might wait。 They gave me a chair； and
I sat outside the door。 When she became unconscious they said I might
go in。 Her mouth and chin were all burnt by the acid。 It was awful to
see her lovely skin all wounded。 She died very peacefully； so that I didn't
know she was dead till the sister told me。〃
He was too tired to weep。 He lay on his back limply； as though all
the strength had gone out of his limbs； and presently I saw that he had
fallen asleep。 It was the first natural sleep he had had for a week。
Nature； sometimes so cruel； is sometimes merciful。 I covered him and
turned down the light。 In the morning when I awoke he was still asleep。
He had not moved。 His gold…rimmed spectacles were still on his nose。
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XXXVII
The circumstances of Blanche Stroeve's death necessitated all manner
of dreadful formalities； but at last we were allowed to bury her。 Dirk and
I alone followed the hearse to the cemetery。 We went at a foot…pace； but on
the way back we trotted； and there was something to my mind singularly
horrible in the way the driver of the hearse whipped up his horses。 It
seemed to dismiss the dead with a shrug of the shoulders。 Now and then I
caught sight of the swaying hearse in front of us； and our own driver urged
his pair so that we might not remain behind。 I felt in myself； too； the
desire to get the whole thing out of my mind。 I was beginning to be
bored with a tragedy that did not really concern me； and pretending to
myself that I spoke in order to distract Stroeve； I turned with relief to other
subjects。
〃Don't you think you'd better go away for a bit？〃 I said。 〃There can be
no object in your staying in Paris now。〃
He did not answer； but I went on ruthlessly：
〃Have you made any plans for the immediate future？〃
〃No。〃
〃You must try and gather together the threads again。 Why don't you go
down to Italy and start working？〃
Again he made no reply； but the driver of our carriage came to my
rescue。 Slackening his pace for a moment； he leaned over and spoke。 I
could not hear what he said； so I put my head out of the window。 he
wanted to know where we wished to be set down。 I told him to wait a
minute。
〃You'd better come and have lunch with me；〃 I said to Dirk。 〃I'll tell
him to drop us in the Place Pigalle。〃
〃I'd rather not。 I want to go to the studio。〃
I hesitated a moment。
〃Would you like me to come with you？〃 I asked then。
〃No； I should prefer to be alone。〃
〃All right。〃
I gave the driver the necessary direction； and in renewed silence we
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The Moon and Sixpence
drove on。 Dirk had not been to the studio since the wretched morning on
which they had taken Blanche to the hospital。 I was glad he did not want
me to accompany him； and when I left him at the door I walked away with
relief。 I took a new pleasure in the streets of Paris； and I looked with
smiling eyes at the people who hurried to and fro。 The day was fine and
sunny； and I felt in myself a more acute delight in life。 I could not help it；
I put Stroeve and his sorrows out of my mind。 I wanted to enjoy。
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The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XXXVIII
I did not see him again for nearly a week。 Then he fetched me soon
after seven one evening and took me out to dinner。 He was dressed in the
deepest mourning； and on his bowler was a broad black band。 He had
even a black border to his handkerchief。 His garb of woe suggested that he
had lost in one catastrophe every relation he had in the world； even to
cousins by marriage twice removed。 His plumpness and his red； fat
cheeks made his mourning not a little incongruous。 It was cruel that his
extreme unhappiness should have in it something of buffoonery。
He told me he had made up his mind to go away； though not to Italy； as
I had suggested； but to Holland。
〃I'm starting to…morrow。 This is perhaps the last time we shall ever
meet。〃
I made an appropriate rejoinder； and he smiled wanly。
〃I haven't been home for five years。 I think I'd forgotten it all； I
seemed to have come so far away from my father's house that I was shy at
the idea of revisiting it； but now I feel it's my only refuge。〃
He was sore and bruised； and his thoughts went back to the tenderness
of his mother's love。 The ridicule he had endured for years seemed now
to weigh him down； and the final blow of Blanche's treachery had robbed
him of the resiliency which had made him take it so gaily。 He could no
longer laugh with those who laughed at him。 He was an outcast。 He
told me of his childhood in the tidy brick house； and of his mother's
passionate orderliness。 Her kitchen was a miracle of clean brightness。
Everything was always in its place； and no where could you see a speck of
dust。 Cleanliness； indeed； was a mania with her。 I saw a neat little old
woman； with cheeks like apples； toiling away from morning to night；
through the long years； to keep her house trim and spruce。 His father was
a spare old man； his hands gnarled after the work of a lifetime； silent and
upright； in the evening he read the paper aloud； whil