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the aspern papers-第4章

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are quiet; at any rate) in fifty rooms!〃  Then with a burst

of hope and cheer I demanded:  〃Couldn't you let me two or three?

That would set me up!〃



I had not struck the note that translated my purpose; and I need

not reproduce the whole of the tune I played。  I ended by making my

interlocutress believe that I was an honorable person; though of course

I did not even attempt to persuade her that I was not an eccentric one。

I repeated that I had studies to pursue; that I wanted quiet;

that I delighted in a garden and had vainly sought one up and

down the city; that I would undertake that before another month

was over the dear old house should be smothered in flowers。

I think it was the flowers that won my suit; for I afterward found

that Miss Tita (for such the name of this high tremulous spinster proved

somewhat incongruously to be) had an insatiable appetite for them。

When I speak of my suit as won I mean that before I left her she

had promised that she would refer the question to her aunt。

I inquired who her aunt might be and she answered; 〃Why; Miss Bordereau!〃

with an air of surprise; as if I might have been expected to know。

There were contradictions like this in Tita Bordereau which; as I

observed later; contributed to make her an odd and affecting person。

It was the study of the two ladies to live so that the world

should not touch them; and yet they had never altogether accepted

the idea that it never heard of them。  In Tita at any rate

a grateful susceptibility to human contact had not died out;

and contact of a limited order there would be if I should come

to live in the house。



〃We have never done anything of the sort; we have never had a lodger

or any kind of inmate。〃  So much as this she made a point of saying to me。

〃We are very poor; we live very badly。  The rooms are very bare

that you might take; they have nothing in them。  I don't know how you

would sleep; how you would eat。〃



〃With your permission; I could easily put in a bed and a few

tables and chairs。  C'est la moindre des choses and

the affair of an hour or two。  I know a little man from whom

I can hire what I should want for a few months; for a trifle;

and my gondolier can bring the things round in his boat。

Of course in this great house you must have a second kitchen;

and my servant; who is a wonderfully handy fellow〃 (this personage

was an evocation of the moment); 〃can easily cook me a chop there。

My tastes and habits are of the simplest; I live on flowers!〃

And then I ventured to add that if they were very poor

it was all the more reason they should let their rooms。

They were bad economistsI had never heard of such a

waste of material。



I saw in a moment that the good lady had never before been spoken

to in that way; with a kind of humorous firmness which did

not exclude sympathy but was on the contrary founded on it。

She might easily have told me that my sympathy was impertinent;

but this by good fortune did not occur to her。

I left her with the understanding that she would consider

the matter with her aunt and that I might come back the next day

for their decision。



〃The aunt will refuse; she will think the whole proceeding very louche!〃

Mrs。 Prest declared shortly after this; when I had resumed my place

in her gondola。  She had put the idea into my head and now (so little

are women to be counted on) she appeared to take a despondent view of it。

Her pessimism provoked me and I pretended to have the best hopes; I went

so far as to say that I had a distinct presentiment that I should succeed。

Upon this Mrs。 Prest broke out; 〃Oh; I see what's in your head!

You fancy you have made such an impression in a quarter of an hour that she

is dying for you to come and can be depended upon to bring the old one round。

If you do get in you'll count it as a triumph。〃



I did count it as a triumph; but only for the editor

(in the last analysis); not for the man; who had not the tradition

of personal conquest。  When I went back on the morrow the little

maidservant conducted me straight through the long sala

(it opened there as before in perfect perspective and was lighter now;

which I thought a good omen) into the apartment from which

the recipient of my former visit had emerged on that occasion。

It was a large shabby parlor; with a fine old painted ceiling

and a strange figure sitting alone at one of the windows。

They come back to me now almost with the palpitation

they caused; the successive feelings that accompanied my

consciousness that as the door of the room closed behind

me I was really face to face with the Juliana of some

of Aspern's most exquisite and most renowned lyrics。

I grew used to her afterward; though never completely;

but as she sat there before me my heart beat as fast as if

the miracle of resurrection had taken place for my benefit。

Her presence seemed somehow to contain his; and I felt

nearer to him at that first moment of seeing her than I ever

had been before or ever have been since。  Yes; I remember

my emotions in their order; even including a curious little

tremor that took me when I saw that the niece was not there。

With her; the day before; I had become sufficiently familiar;

but it almost exceeded my courage (much s I had longed for the event)

to be left alone with such a terrible relic as the aunt。

She was too strange; too literally resurgent。  Then came a check;

with the perception that we were not really face to face;

inasmuch as she had over her eyes a horrible green shade which;

for her; served almost as a mask。  I believed for the instant

that she had put it on expressly; so that from underneath it

she might scrutinize me without being scrutinized herself。

At the same time it increased the presumption that there was

a ghastly death's…head lurking behind it。  The divine Juliana

as a grinning skullthe vision hung there until it passed。

Then it came to me that she WAS tremendously old

so old that death might take her at any moment; before I had time

to get what I wanted from her。  The next thought was a correction

to that; it lighted up the situation。  She would die next week;

she would die tomorrowthen I could seize her papers。

Meanwhile she sat there neither moving nor speaking。  She was

very small and shrunken; bent forward; with her hands in her lap。

She was dressed in black; and her head was wrapped in a piece

of old black lace which showed no hair。



My emotion keeping me silent she spoke first; and the remark

she made was exactly the most unexpected。







                           III





〃Our house is very far from the center; but the little canal

is very comme il faut。〃



〃It's the sweetest corner of Venice and I can imagine nothing more charming;〃

I hastened to reply。  The old lady's voice was very thin and weak; but it

had an agreeable; cultivated murmur; and there was wonder in the thought

that that individual note had been in Jeffrey Aspern's ear。



〃Please to sit down there。  I hear very well;〃

she said quietly; as if perhaps I had been shouting at her;

and the chair she pointed to was at a certain distance。

I took possession of it; telling her that I was perfectly

aware that I had intruded; that I had not been properly

introduced and could only throw myself upon her indulgence。

Perhaps the other lady; the one I had had the honor of seeing

the day before; would have explained to her about the garden。

That was literally what had given me courage to take a step

so unconventional。  I had fallen in love at sight with the whole place

(she herself probably was so used to it that she did not know

the impression it was capable of making on a stranger); and I

had felt it was really a case to risk something。  Was her own

kindness in receiving me a sign that I was not wholly out in

my calculation?  It would render me extremely happy to think so。

I could give her my word of honor that I was a most respectable;

inoffensive person and that as an inmate they would be barely

conscious of my existence。  I would conform to any regulations;

any restrictions if they would only let me enjoy the garden。

Moreover I should be delighted to give her references; guarantees;

they would be of the very best; both in Venice and in England

as well as in America。



She listened to me in perfect stillness and I felt that she was looking

at me with great attention; though I could see only the lower part

of her bleached and shriveled face。  Independently of the refining

process of old age it had a delicacy which once must have been great。

She had been very fair; she had had a wonderful complexion。

She was silent a little after I had ceased speaking; then she inquired;

〃If you are so fond of a garden why don't you go to terra firma;

where there are so many far better than this?〃



〃Oh; it's the combination!〃  I answered; smiling; and then;

with rather a flight of fancy; 〃It's the idea of a garden

i
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